Bros in Yoga and ITGs in Bikinis

Y'all. I cannot even begin to explain how strange I feel right now. I should be exhausted, and my body is definitely tired, but somehow I still have energy to type this blog. I also feel like I should be proud of myself, but am still feeling a bit inadequate. Today has been loooong but wonderful! I went to TWO classes at 2 different gym locations today. Needless to say I have Wednesdays off of work. haha. I spent the time in between sunbathing by a rooftop pool in Dallas. Every time I have days like this where I'm like "Man I never would've been able to do this 2 years ago, or 1 year ago" it is just a really great feeling.

I had my normal wonderful Yoga class this morning. Well, not so normal, actually... Like a minute or two into class, 2 bros walk in. There are like, 5 women plus the instructor in our class so I was like "oook?". Because these are your average dudes who look more ready to play a pickup game of basketball or stare into a mirror while curling than to walk into a yoga class. Youngish 20s, completely average sized, and you can tell they're determined but nervous. They were on the other side of the room so honestly I didn't get to see them much except when we were doing triangle pose, which they seemed to be performing with the same mix of un-comfort and resolve. They were right behind me on our way out so I asked them if they had fun and they both gave me tired smiles and one of them said "I don't sweat that much when I workout!" and the other one was like "Yeah man that was HARD!" I just told them if they kept doing it they would get stronger and it would get easier. =) So that was funny, it'll be interesting to see if they come back next week.

So, I haven't gone swim suit shopping yet, and I think I'm still gonna put it off as long as I can. My swim suit from last year still fits actually, although if I do too much actual swimming it would be too big. But for a decorative-type function it still works and that's what we did today. I actually let my stomach get some sun! So not only is it flatter, but it is also now less pale! haha. I pulled up the tank-top part while it was just my boyfriend and his best friend. I used to be REALLY insecure around his bestie because every SINGLE one of his female friends is like a "7" or hotter. But now that we're actually friends for real and he's gotten used to the fact that he can have a fat female friend(because seriously, none of them are anywhere remotely close to being overweight) I don't really care anymore. So we left for some food, because all the aforementioned hotties were running late, came back and the 3 intimidatingly thin girls I was anticipating were all there in their bikini best... so needless to stay my stomach didn't get anymore sun. haha. But my shoulders look GREAT! =P Anyway, I could probably say truthfully that this is the least-uncomfortable I've been at the pool with 3 hot girls in bikinis. My first inclination was to just leave on my swim cover and risk a farmers tan, but this was my first real summer sun and gosh darnit, I was gonna get it! So I tried to just act as comfortable as I could even when I still felt completely inadequate next to women who probably wear sizes 0/2-6, and it worked and I got over it[kinda]. It's better than it was last summer when we had pool parties with the same girls because then I did my best to stay in the water or hide behind my towel/cover-up/boyfriend. I still really wanted to, but my hiding days are over, even if it is more emotionally exhausting than I'd like to admit.

So all that fun made me slightly late for my agreed spin date with my friend who is in town. We always spin when she's here but I knew we weren't gonna be there in time to get bikes. We ended up going to 45 minutes of the body sculpt class, which KICKED MY ASS. Like literally, I got a cramp in my right glute from all the squats and lunges we were doing within like 15-20 minutes. That was about 5 minutes after I stopped trying to count the squats to see how many I could log for my squat challenge. I think I can safely say I fulfilled today's 185 squats, even leaving 15 minutes early so I could get to church choir. I think we were both not-so-secretly relieved we had to go because our muscles were screaming. I don't think a 5lb dumbbell has ever felt so heavy. I hope it never does again.

Well other than my adventures from today, I think the only other thing of note is I'm going to have to re-arrange my schedule for the next month-ish due to extra choir rehearsals during my previously-scheduled Zumba time! =( So, I'll have to figure that out...I added Liz, the Zumba instructor on facebook so that I can pester her about her teaching schedule for other classes. haha. I hope I can work something out, I've been Zumba-ing for so long now I don't want to go a month without it!! =( Although now might be the time to try out Jazzercise. I can't remember if I told y'all we had a Zumba instructor and a Jazzercise instructor both come in with plantar fasciitis on the same day! I thought it was kinda funny. Anyway, I accidentally let the Z-word slip in front of the Jazzercise instructor and she told me I should try a class because she lost 125 pounds and has kept it off for 15 years doing Jazzercise. I looked at some of the instructive videos on the site and my knee-jerk reaction was "This looks like some white people sh--..." But I also turned to Will and pointed at the girl doing the video and said "See, I would be completely happy if my body looked exactly like hers" sooo... I dunno. I'm still thinking it over. Have any of y'all done Jazzercise? Let me know in the comments! I will keep y'all updated because I'm sure it will be some kind of adventure if I go, although who knows what kind. =) 

Fat Marissa comes out to play, but Skinny Marissa is here to stay!

So I let fat Marissa come out to play Saturday at a drunken wedding and I didn't lock her back up until Monday afternoon. haha. Seriously though taking 3 days in a row off working out and letting myself eat whatever I wanted resulted in gaining like 4 pounds! So, small step back but it's good to know how quickly I can undo so much of my hard work. Also, I don't think I've mentioned that I have gallstones.

So, for roughly the last year I've been having bouts of nausea and back pain after eating super fatty foods, especially dairy fat. I found out it was gallstones last summer but the attacks are so infrequent I don't want to do surgery. Anyway, I've pretty much cut dairy fat out of my diet as much as possible. I'm lactose-intolerant anyway so it wasn't THAT hard. Especially when I know that eating queso might result in hours of agony. So  every 3 weeks we have a patient that comes in and brings donuts. Fat Marissa was ALMOST back in her cage but she slipped back out for a 2nd donut, which resulted in me getting sick halfway through choir practice and laying in bed for hours. So, yeah. Don't get gallstones. It sucks.

Even with the residual soreness, I got back on it hard last night with Zumba and then gave myself a mini spin class. I haven't been able to make it to spin in a couple weeks and the gyms have gotten new bikes so I went and played on one for a while. It was great! The new bikes count your calories burned and how fast you're peddling and how far you've gone, so cool! The sauna at the gym has been messed up lately so the heat I've come to savor after a hard workout was about 60 degrees less[a mere 120, lol] than it usually is and I was sad. Something about that intense heat relaxing all those muscles you just punished is really relaxing once you get used to it. If you're doing hard work outs and your gym has a sauna, I definitely recommend trying it. Though as accounted by my post roughly a year ago, saunas can get awkward fairly quickly. Now I walk in empty-handed in my socks and If i'm by myself I take off my shirt and lay on top of it, which is also apparently socially acceptable. I also like to use my exercise towel to cover my face. Serves dual purpose of  being able to ignore everyone else, and protecting my lungs from the super-hot air.

Anywho, I promised y'all pictures and pictures you shall have. Again, this is what I've pretty much established as my "before" picture:

April 2010

And this is my April 2013 picture:

April 2013

Sorority pose in full effect, y'all. It's pretty much permanent and I can't really help it. haha Fairly certain 2 of those grapefruits came from my chin. =) I was back on campus and tried taking a picture in that exact spot from 3 years ago, but everything has grown so much and it was muddy and I didn't want to make Will get his dress shoes dirty sooo yeah that was a fail. haha. Maybe I'll try again later, I'm sure I'll be back on campus for another wedding eventually.

This is a really random post but I guess that's what I get for skipping a week and getting sick and having lots to say. I apologize! I might actually do another post Friday because I want to talk about how I'm going to make changes to my current workout routine. Not Zumba or Yoga though, because I'm still loving those. Did Yoga again today and was shocked to be in the top performing half of the class. We had a lot of beginners[like i'm not?] and this one girl was totally unaware of her body and what "straight line" meant. The instructor was trying to help her so she didn't hurt herself but then she gave up when she realized that it was a lost short-term cause. It was gonna take a personal training session in a mirrored box to get her aware of what she was doing.

There was also a fairly obese woman that came in late and only participated in about half the class. I was impressed with the instructor and how she gave her personal attention[without disrupting class] and had her just do some ab work when we were doing stuff that she wasn't flexible enough to do. She just watched a good bit of what we were doing and I talked to her after class and she said she'd be back next week and I assured her I would as well. My Zumba friend that I've been missing was back last night, too! She'd been gone for like a month and she said she was in a car accident! I'm glad she's back and feeling better. We were both moving slowly last night because she was still recovering from that and I was still recovering from my gallbladder attack. I like making friends at the gym, even though Will thinks I talk too much. =) I think if you're gonna be doing the same class with people every week for the foreseeable future you should at least get on a smile-and-wave basis with them. haha

Thanks for reading, guys! Sorry about slacking last week, I will definitely post Friday about my upcoming slim-down regimen change. haha

Run, Gorda, Run!

GUYS! HOLY CRAP! Can I please tell you what just happened? Well other than me accidentally eating a surprisingly fattening sandwich....We'll come back to this. More importantly, tonight I DID 3 MILES in TWENTY THREE MINUTES AND NINE SECONDS. That averages out to 7:43 a mile....I am just blown away. I feel like I need to write an acceptance speech or something because it's like the elliptical has rewarded me for hard work with a time warp or something. One of my friends recently posted she wanted to  average 8:30 for 3 consecutive miles and I thought "Wow, I'm gonna try that next time" and then kinda surprised myself that I had the same time goal as a thin girl who I know goes running in her neighborhood all the time.

I somehow did my first mile in 7:30. I slowed down considerably after that, but I picked it back up because I wanted my next mile to be between 8-8:30. So then as I was getting closer I just kept the pace up and finished in 7:51. I slowed down again and decided if I could do 2 under 8:00 then I could get the 3rd one under 9:00 for sure(even though 2 months ago I was happy with a 10 minute mile). So with the combination of some good music and my boyfriend going twice as fast next to me, I managed to finish the 3rd mile in 7:48. Wow. I am seriously, sitting here like triple checking my math because this is still hard to believe. I dunno what my body figured out on my birthday, but it's continuing to improve on it. Maybe one thing that has helped me get better is that I used to also have to keep an eye on my heart rate. I have a feeling that all that Zumba helps more than I realize because I used to push myself until I had to slow down to get my heart rate down, but I haven't had to do that since I really started up again on the elliptical. That's exciting, I didn't think about that until right now. =)

So ok, let me try to break this down into some helpful advice. When you're on your chosen form of cardio, whether it be the elliptical, treadmill, crossfit, or maybe even on a real track: Pay attention to your time and speed. Sure you'll get good results if you think "I'm just gonna go on here and give it my best and work my butt off". But if you have a specific goal in mind, it will help. So like tonight, I knew that 8 mph would be a 7:30 minute mile so I was shooting to keep my mph as close to 8 whenever possible. Sometimes it dipped down to 6, sometimes it went up to 9, but I tried to keep it in the high 7s, low 8s depending on the resistance I was getting(I have it set to random, which is basically uneven rolling hills). Now if you don't have a mph display on your machine or you're doing your mileage outside, you're gonna have to do math in your head and gauge your pace. "I just did that quarter mile in 3:00 so if I keep this pace I'm set to do a 12 minute mile" or whatever. Again, all about being self aware and knowing what you need to do to get what you want.

Believe it or not, I had already met a goal before I even got upstairs. Today was the first day I ever "Maxed out" on something. Today was a chest day (Have I explained this? Maybe this will be my next post.) and I have recently added bench presses into my routine. Again, last time I was doing them with the bar alone so I would get glances from the free-weight beefcakes varying from amused to offended. Because we didn't have any time constraints, the gym was relatively empty, and we were both working chest: I told Will I wanted to try to max out my bench press. So, I wasn't really sure where to start, so I started with a 25 on each side which is 95lbs total. I actually managed to do 2 of them! So, we agreed that I could safely say I maxed out at 100. haha. I switched up my usual routine of 3 sets of 15 and did 5 sets of 8. Bench press is a lot easier with a spotter who you know can lift you much less the puny-in-comparison bar you're lifting. So I did 5x8 at 75 pounds, which is obviously 30# more than I was willing to do by myself. I have a feeling my chest is going to be very sore tomorrow because I then proceeded to do my normal chest day minus the incline press I usually do.

Ok this is getting longer than I thought so 2 quick things: I need to not get the Tuna sub from subway again unless I do Zumba on Fridays. The footlong Tuna on wheat with cheese is 1,470 calories!!! 93.6 grams of fat!!! I mean, it's also 48 grams of protein but goodness! I was so surprised when I started trying to put it into my calorie counter. So even with a 700+ calorie workout I'm over my calorie goal for today. So, BEWARE! Next Friday I'll have to plan ahead and get some healthy fish or make my own Tuna because damn, that's not gonna work. Second thing is that I'm doing the aqua bootcamp tomorrow with Will! So that will be exciting, I'm sure. Except that I'm 95% sure I can't wear my heart rate monitor in the pool so I won't know exactly how many calories I'm burning. Hmm, guess I'll have to see what MFP can come up with for me. Well, that's all for tonight, guys. Again, thanks so much for all the encouragement and sharing your stories with me! I really appreciate it and enjoy hearing about how hard work pays off for others, too!

Gooooooooooooool [The goal-setting post]

So this post is brought to you by: Progress! When I was using my calorie counter app, It informed me that if every day were like Friday and Saturday, I could lose 22 pounds in 5 weeks. Now, this is about 4.5 pounds a week, which is INCREDIBLE. In all senses of the word, because I didn't really believe it. SO, I apologize in advance if this gets tedious, but y'all stick with me because I think a lot of us need to think about things a little differently.

I'm gonna come out and say it: I want to lose another 100 pounds. This may sound crazy to you skinny people, but all of you fluffy kids out there can imagine where I'm coming from. I'm currently down 30-32 pounds from my "start" weight, which took me 16 months to lose and a year to keep off. I lost my focus and this summer I un-did a big chunk of my hard weight loss. I managed not to undo my muscle gain, which is an important distinction. So weight-wise I'm essentially where I was at this point last year, but I've got my best work out buddy back and we're both focused and ready to keep working.The thing I've got going for me that I didn't last year is that I've felt what 10 more pounds lighter feels like. I know that with just another couple months at this pace I could potentially be down to shopping consistently in regular stores by this summer. Last year that was my goal and I missed it because of lots of things going on with work and family and my boyfriend coming home. But this year I am more focused and determined than I have ever been. And I have a plan, a clear laid out set of goals. If I can stay on this track I'm on, I'll show you what I am capable of.

So here goes the micro-goal setting and meeting that you have to do within the bigger picture to stay on track. I have lost around 10-12 pounds in 5-6 weeks, that is just at my 2 pounds a week which is my goal on the calorie counter. Now the way I went hard this week puts me at 4.5 pounds a week. So let's be realistic and say that If I continue to work hard and eat well, I could potentially lose 15 pounds every 6 weeks, about 2.5 pounds a week. When you break it down into bite-sized pieces, it becomes a lot more conceivable. "I need to lose 100 pounds" well...yeah...but when you say it like that it sounds IMPOSSIBLE. But if I lose 15 pounds every 6 weeks for the rest of the year, I will have lost 115 pounds by 2014. I could even think that if I stayed on pace I wouldn't even have to lose weight during the holidays I would just have to maintain that last 6 weeks of the year. Happy Holidays! You've transformed yourself and now you can take pictures for Christmas cards to re-introduce yourself to all your friends! lol. Did that idea just cross my mind? It absolutely did.

Now, I know as I lose fat the weight will not be quite so "easy" to sluff off. I know this. I know it's going to be hard, even excruciating, the closer I get. But when I lay it out in such clear terms "Marissa, all you have to do is be under your calorie goal and keep working out and eating lean protein" it makes it a lot less stressful. I have to constantly be thinking about why I'm doing this. It's not just to be able to shop at H&M or eventually buy a wedding dress with only 1 digit in the size. It's so that 20, 30, 40 years down the road I won't be worried about checking my blood sugar every day or injecting myself with insulin. About getting out of breath playing with my kids and grandkids. Worried about what the possible side effects of this medication or that medication are, or how they interact, or how much my prescriptions are a month.You have to do what you can with the cards that you're dealt in life. My genetic deck isn't so hot but my cards can for the most part be trumped by diet and exercise. With a low BMI and a healthy diet, science suggests that I can keep everything I'm at increased risk for at a good distance. But you know what else you can keep with a low BMI and a healthy diet? Single-digit-sized clothing. And that's pretty encouraging, too. 

Bye Bye Miss American Thigh

Traveling for work has been nuts! But I'm home this week and so is my sister for spring break. I'm proud of her, she's lost like 10 lbs since the beginning of the semester. =) we've been doing some of her paleo diet, which is essentially an Atkins-ish diet that has some science behind it. If I knew how to do links I'd give you a few, but you can go search "paleo diet" and I'm sure you'll find lots of interesting stuff. Anyway, Monday and Tuesday I followed her diet, yesterday not so much. Lol. And tonight we're going to have another paleo recipe- carb free pizza. The crust is going to be made out of cauliflower, eggs and cheese. I'm excited to give this a try. The mashed cauliflower I made Tuesday was pretty delicious. But I did make them "loaded" with cheese and bacon to make them more dad-friendly. Lol. Anything is good with cheese and bacon, you don't even need your inner fat kid to tell you that.

Oh I meant to tell y'all, I made Josh re-do my measurements last week and they came out much better. Overall I'm down -1.75 inches from the last measurements. I'm up in the neck, chest, shoulders and calves, I'm exactly the same in the waist and I'm down in arms and thighs. I'd actually lost an inch and a half each in my thighs which made me pretty determined to keep going to spin class. Which is why yesterday I went to 2 classes in a row. "why would you do that?" because I'm crazy apparently. I was so worn out. AND I forgot to wear my heart monitor so idk how many calories I burned. I'm guesstimating somewhere between 1,000 and 1,200. I did the Pilates class with Cynthia for an hour before I did an hour of spin. Luckily in spin 2 of my friends were there so we were all in a row cutting up keeping eachother going. The music Nichole picked also helped a lot. I mean between usher and drake how could I stop? Lol. But the hardest part was the climb set to "American Pie". Aka it lasted as long as the song. I thought I was gonna die! An 8 minute climb?! Usually they're not even half that long. But hey, I did it and I lived to tell the tale.

After all that craziness yesterday I ate (lean cuisine steamed asiago tortellini. Find it! It was amazing!!) and passed out before I went shopping with my sister and 2 of my chronically skinny friends. The long-standing plan was for them to teach me to shop as the skinny do, but since I'm still a solid 16 I was a little apprehensive. So we went to about 3 different department stores and we couldn't find ANYTHING. They were more discouraged than I was, because that is what I'm used to. I told them this is why I've never shopped at department stores, because I tried it once when I was a teenager and decided it wasn't worth the time and hassle and heartache. So after we gave up on that angle I took them to Ross and showed them how I usually do it. "it's ok, we're gonna go in there, I'm gonna find 2-3 dresses that I actually like that are actually in my price range, and then I'll pick the best one. It'll take like 15 minutes." Apparently this boggled their skinny girl minds, because this is exactly how it went down and they seemed shocked. Lol. So I found a cute dress for the wedding this weekend and if I can figure out how I'll post some before/during pics next week.

Baby You Can Be My Motivation

After a few months and 15 pounds, I was feeling pretty good. The pilates took my curves(read:rolls) and turned it into a true hour glass that I could be proud of and was noticeable. My 24th birthday(a year ago today) rolled around and I was happy that all of my friends commented on my new and improved figure. My work in college on learning how to accept a compliment was tested on a physical level and passed. [mostly unrelated to my weight, I think, it has always been hard for me to accept compliments gracefully.] this positive experience only boosted my drive, and generally prepared me for the next destination in this adventure.

Now I guess I should take a second and explain a bit for those who don't know. At this point I had also been on an online dating site for close to a year. I joined because I didnt know how else to meet single, attractive, successful, straight men. Now if you haven't tried it you can laugh all you want, but working in a women's clothing store wasnt exactly a good place to meet bachelors. Anyway, I had gone on several dates, talked to LOTS of guys, and nothing had really worked out. I wasn't exactly giving up, but I was starting to think maybe all these computer engineers and grad students weren't what I needed. I was messaging a couple different guys, when one of them really started to interest me. So, I gave him my phone number after a week, which was completely out of my pattern and decided "what the hell, I'll invite him out with me and my friends". He seemed normal even if he wasn't quite my norm, he was super hot, and what did I have to lose? Well, as you may have already guessed, absolutely nothing. He is now my boyfriend of 11 months and the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Think I'm being a mushy girl? Let me explain. After we started dating I found out that he used to be 60ish lbs heavier and 4 sizes bigger. He was a living embodiment of my ultimate goal: From cute and cuddly to stone cold sexy. It was as if God said "ok, I see you have done what you can for yourself, let me give you your reward in the form of everything you ever needed in a partner". Will was EXACTLY what I needed at exactly the right time. Instead of becoming complacent with where I was, I had living proof that eating right and hard work could transform you into whatever you were willing to work toward.

The best part was that apart from being completely supportive, he was completely apathetic. For any male readers let me explain: the worst thing a guy could do is comment on your health or eating habits in any way that could be construed as "you need to lose weight". Will already liked me for who I was, so I was free to push myself to be better without any sort of pressure from him. This was amazing to me. How easy would it have been for him to push me like he was still pushing himself? Apparently it never crossed his mind.

It was actually close to 3 months before we actually started working out together. This may sound strange but he never offered and I never asked. Probably something to do with how disgusting I always felt after I worked out and I didn't want my boyfriend to see me like that. Finally one day we finally worked out together, and it was another beautiful beginning. We motivated eachother and pushed each other to do more. I actually started to look forward to working out, instead of being another chore on my to-do list. It brought us closer and propelled us each through another plateau. I discovered that one of the best motivators can be a work out buddy to keep you accountable.