Why my pants sag off? I'm working my ass off!

Paraphrasing a Kanye line there that has always made me laugh. Finally took some new pictures today!

Woot!

Went to Old Navy today because they were having a sale and, of course, because none of my clothes really fit. I'm down another 2 lbs this week still going strong on IF so I think this is working for me! haha. If anyone has some size 12s they want to donate to a good cause, I'll be there soon! These are a 12 from Old Navy which really means that I'm probably pretty solidly in a 14 at most stores possibly a 16 where they run small. This is a medium top, too. Today was the first time I've ever experienced the frustration of the average-sized girl. There were no mediums/14-12s left in the colors I wanted!! So, this is what I ended up with, which I do like. I'm gonna wear it to a Rangers game this upcoming week! =)

So in honor of the summer, here is a look at the last 3 summers in comparison to this one. I'm so glad I've discovered lifting heavy and more recently IF. I've made much better progress in the last 6 months than I have in the last 3 years! haha.

Sizes 2x/24, 2x/22, 1x/18 and M/12 respectively 

Maybe over the summer I'll do a monthly progression from where I've been since December, which is when I really started back up again. Luckily between being in a sorority and recently actually trying to document my progress, I've got a LOT of pictures from the past several years. =) I've got some progress pics planned to debut in August that I'm pretty excited to see where they are. =D

Still slightly bummed about all this subcutaneous fat/ "loose skin" on my upper arms and thighs but it's shrinking too just at a much slower rate. I've been doing lots of random stuff to get it to tighten up and I think it's working to some degree. I just want to wear tank tops and be able to flaunt my newly discovered biceps and shoulders and shorts to show off my squat-strengthened legs! *sigh* I'll get there, I know. I dunno why I'm all of a sudden impatient now, I guess because I have been making such substantial progress lately, I feel like I should have more to show for it than bingo arms and saggy inner thigh cellulite. =P

So...what's new? I got back to all of my classes this week! I forgot if I said that last time but I went to my normal Tuesday Zumba and Wednesday yoga. Felt sooooo good! I was actually sore from yoga until yesterday! We did a lot of twists so my obliques were really angry afterwards. haha. I did back/shoulders yesterday and legs today. I would usually do chest/arms today but my shoulders were SO SORE that I had to switch because I didn't think I was gonna be able to do anything. haha. My low back was still a little sore today so my squatting didn't go as well as it normally does. I did get some satisfaction that the skinny guy in the rack next to me was deadlifting less than I can, but by the end he was probably lifting more than I am as far as percentage of body weight so I gave him a break. =) I still felt really strong even with my sore back.

I really love lifting weights. Y'all might be tired of hearing it, sorry. It's hard to explain the sense of accomplishment of lifting something heavier than you did last time if you don't already understand it. It's just such a tangible measure of strength. I had 135lbs across my back, a 45lb bar and two 45lb plates, and thought "This is a lot lighter than I thought it was gonna be". As my warm up/deloading weight. 2 months ago I wasn't near maxing out at that and I wouldn't have DREAMED that would be this easy for me. I've gotten to the point on some lifts where my grip strength or accessory muscle strength is limiting my actual lifts.  I need to get my back stronger so I can squat more, and I need to get my grip stronger so I can dead lift more. And I need to actually focus on form and technique for bench press. I swear it's the red-headed step child of my workouts. haha. I'll get to it soon! I'm sure I will be posting a triumphant blog when I start making big gains in my bench press. =) Sorry about the spotty updates recently, I've been getting back on my normal schedule now that Will is home. I've been keeping my facebook page pretty well updated though, if you're on facebook(ha) and want to follow that. =) As always, thanks for all the sweet words and encouragement! 

Crazy Schedule Meets Crazy Yogi

The last week went by so quickly and my routine is so off because of this upcoming concert that I actually stopped and said "Oh, today is Wednesday...I need to blog". haha. I can't decide if I have nothing to say or too much to say.

My regular routine has been smashed to little bits, but I'm coping surprisingly well. haha. With my boyfriend, Will, being gone and my added rehearsals for the choir I'm singing with until Sunday I am just trying to make sure I'm going to the gym- but my class schedule is completely different. Theoretically LA fitness has very similar class schedules so that you can always go to a specific class at a specific time at almost any gym. Well, except my gym doesn't have yoga at the same time as Will's gym. So I tried the yoga class at my gym and I knew it wasn't going to be anywhere near as cool as my regular class but I went in with an open mind. I'm glad I had prepared myself because it was really different. It started out and I was afraid it was going to be more "restorative" yoga but then after like 15 minutes of basic stretching we started doing all these balance things and I was like, uuuuuuh...crap. I balanced on my head/shoulder, one foot and my butt bone. I use the term "balance" loosely of course. =) So that was Friday, and I talked to the teacher afterwards because I was curious what her kind of Yoga was called. She said it was Hatha. She also said some things that almost rubbed me the wrong way, but I dismissed it because Yogis are supposed to be super chill, so maybe she wasn't as judgmental as she sounded.

I decided to give her class another try because lets be honest, balance isn't my strong suit so that could only make me better. Class was mostly the same and I was a little better at standing on one foot, and a little worse at balancing on my round squat-enhanced butt. Well after Sunday's class I spoke to her again, and this time she definitely said things that put me off. Some of her advice was good, but she definitely frowned upon my weight lifting; made a comment that suggesting that I wasn't treating my body right. She also told me that if I did yoga enough that I wouldn't need to lift anymore. ...Um, you're making the assumption that that is a goal of mine? After I already told you I'd been lifting much longer than I've been doing yoga? I dunno, it was very strange for her to say that to somebody who told her they had only been doing yoga for about 2 and a half months. I was talking to her because I was curious about her specific discipline, not because I wanted to adopt it as my own right now, forevermore. *sigh* Anyway, so I don't think I will be going to her class again. I would on Friday, but I think I'm going to go back out to the other gym so I can take Will's brother to work out. I think he's been slacking in our absence so I need to go crack the whip! =P

I really miss Zumba. Like really really. I went 2 weeks ago and not since and I want to DANCE and be silly and burn calories! But, there is a bootcamp at my gym on Saturday and there is a Zumba portion at the end so I am definitely looking forward to that!! I missed the May bootcamp...and maybe the April one? I can't remember. But I'm definitely going this Saturday early afternoon so if we're friends "IRL" please text me if you want to go, I'm allowed to bring friends. =)

Well, I was going to talk to y'all about my new adventures in intermittent fasting, but I think it will have to wait. I started Monday so maybe I should wait til next week to really write about it. BUT I will tell y'all that another thing about my schedule being different is weighing on a different scale. Every time I would weigh myself on the scale at home it would be 1-3 pounds different than Will's scale. And i'm not talking about normal through the day variations. I mean one time I tested it and weighed myself right before I left, and then right when I got home and it was 2 pounds different. So I just decided I wasn't going to weigh myself until after he gets home in a couple weeks. Well, it's kinda driving me crazy but it's also kinda nice. I know I've lost weight so I'm just going to be content in the feeling that my clothes are getting looser and I've been picking up progressively heavier things. I got on the scale today and saw a number 4 pounds lighter than what I saw last week so I'm just gonna keep it in mind but not officially log it in MFP or anything.

Today was chest day and it was awful and wonderful at the same time. Upper body workouts are usually like that for me. I feel so weak because my arms are nowhere near as strong as my legs. But I would rather be like that than like the guys that are curling 80lb dumbbells but then can only quarter squat 135 lbs. *sigh* But I AM making improvements which is, after all, the whole point. I am slowly but surely becoming a better(and smaller) version of myself. =)

How Many Grapefruits Equals a Sun Bear?

First item to report: bro-free Yoga. haha. I like to believe that people will stick to things, but I guess it wasn't for them. Yoga was much needed today as this is the penultimate day of the squat challenge. Need to do 240 squats today! I feel like somebody beat me in the back of the thighs with a baseball bat. Or maybe a tire iron. Not sure. But in any case it feels awful and is all from my new personal best on the romanian deadlift Monday. So it's an even trade, really. haha. Anyway, I haven't finished my squats for today yet, but I WILL before I submit this blog because sometimes the thought of letting myself and YOU down is what keeps me going. People pleaser to the death of me, I know. =) My yoga instructor is a goddess because she took us through extra hamstring stretches before and after the workout because I mentioned I was gonna be on the struggle bus with anything that required hamstring strength/stability. haha.

Next thing on the agenda- this is the best thing I've seen today:

Someone posted it on fitocracy in one of the groups and someone said that we all start with a koala bear, which weighs around 25lbs. lol. There's also a lighter weight version with cats:

So these are really funny because I like putting weight into real world perspective so much, but I hadn't actually stopped to think about the weight I was lifting, only the weight I was losing. In the Fitocracy weight loss group one girl said when she did squats with dumbbells she would think "I used to walk around with this much extra weight all day!" So I've decided for my next big milestone picture, I'm gonna try to take it at the gym with a big dumbbell of how much I've lost. =D (I'll have to be sneaky because I don't think my gym allows pictures...I know they don't allow video.)

There is so much inspirational stuff I've found that I just don't know what to share with you guys(because if I shared it all it would be really overwhelming). I'm realizing more and more how much I've changed and transformed both inside and out. Keeping this blog has really helped me keep track of myself and I like going back to read the old ones sometimes. The most important thing I think I can tell someone is set goals! Long term crazy sounding ones that just MIGHT be achievable and short term and medium(?) term goals for the days/weeks/months. Like I've said before "I need to lose 100 pounds" sounds a lot more intimidating than "I need to lose 2lbs a week". And don't make all your goals weight related! Improvement in any area is improvement and usually more reliable than the scale. Being able to walk up the 4 flights of stairs in the parking garage without losing my breath is a lot more useful than saying I've lost X amount of weight.

But, since that is what my blog is about...as of today I've lost 64 lbs overall! haha Next week y'all will get before and afters from my squat challenge! I'm excited to see them myself, because I can feel the difference in my leg strength and how toned by quads are, but the only difference I've been SUPER aware of is my knee definition, which is strange but wonderful. My knees never really hurt me, thank God, but I have noticed that they are getting really tired the last week after I get to like, 150+ squats. So I am glad that I am almost done. But yeah, a month ago I wouldn't have known that I could do 250 squats. Now I know that I can squat a lynx on top of a sun bear. =D

Will Squat for Shorts

Halfway through the squat challenge!! I did 140 squats today! If you're interested you can click here to see how I did them(and the rest of my work outs!). =D I'm feeling great. My legs are getting STRONG. Like, When I touch my thighs they are hard even when I'm not flexing. It's a really strange feeling.

You know what else is a strange feeling? Realizing that when you're standing up, sucking in doesn't really do anything. Like, the middle part of my stomach tightened up and came in a bit, but it didn't really do much. And when I actually thought about it, I couldn't remember the last time I had sucked in. Of course I also can't remember the last time I wasn't considered "obese" or "morbidly obese" by any method of measurement. Now I think by my body fat I'm a lot closer to just being "overweight" but there's lots of different definitions out there. All I know is I'm THISCLOSE to being in a size 14 which I don't remember ever wearing in the last decade of my life so I'm pretty sinking excited. Although with all these squats my quads won't be able to fit but I guess that's what shorts are for!

I've never been excited to wear shorts in my life. Like, fat girls DREAD short season. Thighs are jiggly, knees are ugly, and everything is pale because you never let anyone see them if you can help it, even Mother Nature. Now I have this pair I got from Old Navy that I'm excited to put on every time. Not the hottest legs ever, but probably my best looking legs since like freshman year of high school. haha OH! Will and I took new bluebonnet pictures! I dunno if I mentioned this last week. Here are a few that show off my progress.

 [Sorry for how gag-worthy these are, we really can't help it sometimes...]

So yay! These were a few weekends ago now but these are my new favorite shorts which I am un-apologetically wearing all the time because a) I don't want to buy another pair because b) I hopefully will need a smaller size in a few weeks. A really, really good problem to have. These are the shortest non-athletic shorts I've worn in a WHILE so yay for better legs and confidence! =) Who's still with me on the squat challenge? I have a before picture that I will post once I have an after picture to go with it. And then y'all can see how defined my knees are getting and you'll want to do it, too! ;) I'm already making a list of goals for June. Joining Fitocracy has given me so many resources and ideas for my workouts and how and why and WHAT to do in the gym. If you need advice or ideas or motivation I would definitely recommend it! =) Click on my link and go and join and friend me and you can see in detail how I'm kicking my own butt into short-shape. 

Food Verdict? Not guilty!

I feel like I always have so much stuff to talk about but I don't want to ramble or repeat what I've said recently. So if I do either of those things, sorry!

So- day 8 of the squat challenge was harder than I expected! Today was a rest day, but my legs weren't sore so I almost did squats today anyway! haha. This challenge has been pretty awesome so far. I won't talk a whole lot about it because I'm doing daily updates on my facebook group, but I do feel compelled to say: I did my Monday squats in sets during commercials of watching The Amazing Race. Just saying, you can make excuses(Monday is my day off from the gym due to my schedule) or you can make commitments and get results. Tomorrow we come back strong with 100 squats so yeah, I guess I'll take my rest when it's scheduled.

Speaking of scheduling things- I have an article I want to talk to y'all about. Go read it! I'll wait.

Done? Ok good. So I've never had a scheduled "cheat day" and this article makes me glad I don't. But I think she's onto something when she says that it might be good for you to feel the difference in your body. If I eat too much or greasy food or something that I know I shouldn't, more often than not I have more physical repercussions than mental or emotional. I can't eat a whole restaurant serving of fries anymore. Like, physically and mentally unable. There's still a tiny part of my brain that says "There's still food on your plate, eat it!" But I know that if I finish it I will feel awful, because the last time I did(which was probably several months ago now) I felt so sluggish and bloated and it was the worst feeling ever now that I'm not used to feeling fat all the time anymore. And like she said, you can still celebrate when the occasion calls for it. I ate SO MUCH on Saturday celebrating with my friends and adopted family. But because I stayed away from things I know would make me feel crappy(excessive creamy-saucy pastas, etc) and ate more of the delicious things (like brisket and rice) that wouldn't make me feel crappy, I didn't feel bad in body, mind, or spirit. Yes, I still have some food-guilt- I mean I'm a Mexican Catholic, guilt is the last thing we can get rid of- but not for when occasion calls for it. Part of that is my changing palate and just increased will power. Turns out using those muscles makes them stronger, too.

I actually ate a bacon double steakburger last night from steak and shake. This would probably fall into the "If it fits your Macros[IIFYM]" mentality. This is the mindset that as long as you hit your allotted macros(Protein, carbs, fat, etc)  for the day that it doesn't matter the calories or what you're eating. For example, as long as I don't go over my carbs for the day, I could eat as many Doritos as I can(this is what i'm currently craving, apparently, normally I would say ice cream). I don't usually[read: ever] follow this because it stresses me out, but that cheeseburger fit into my macros and my calories and I burned 1200 calories at the gym so I wasn't going to feel guilty about it(480 calories, which is pretty good for a cheeseburger). This made me happier than yet another grilled chicken sandwich from somewhere. And because I had been good with my lunch and my snacks, even if I hadn't worked so hard I still would've been okay to eat that. Sometimes you just want a cheeseburger.

And on that note, everyone should read this! I think everyone has looked at a girl and thought "Go eat a cheeseburger, please!" ...Well, at least I have...but I have a notoriously low tolerance for ITGs...oops. So this is an article from that girl's point of view and how she changed her life by lifting. I will be a little more forgiving of chronically skinny girls after reading this article. They're probably more of a casualty of society than I am. But as she says, hopefully we have a shift in thinking and "strong will be the new skinny". =) 

The Fitness Bug and Squat Butt

Guys, I feel like I need to re-write the lyrics to Usher's "You got it bad" or something. I've been reading and doing and loving so much stuff lately. Today was the first day of the 30-day squat challenge and I banged out those 50 pretty easy.

Easy-peasy...until next week. lol

I have to say thanks to Leah for turning me on to the squat challenge, and thanks to Lauren for introducing me to Fitocracy. My facebook news feed(when I get past posts about engagements, weddings, husbands and babies) is full of people being healthy! I have so many friends doing good things and I am so proud of all of you!! Lauren, Leah, Caitlin V, Sue, Linda, Anne Marie, PJ, Kayli, Rebecca and everyone else posting about exercise and goals and success, y'all are awesome! Keep it up, don't take your eyes off the prize! And don't forget to leave a comment if you're doing the challenge with me/us!

Today was such a great day at the gym. Finding this new community to connect to on Fitocracy which is so supportive of the workout aspect has been a breath of fresh air. I love MFP for the accountability and I'm definitely still using that, but the weight training is in its own section and doesn't log calories so it just makes your journal look cluttered because each set is its own line. It's more of just a note to keep track of the weight for your own benefit. On Fitocracy its centered on the WORK you're putting in and the people are already so supportive! Part of it is that the site automatically puts you in groups when you list your interests. So it put me in some groups like "Lady Lifters" and "No Barbie Weights Here" lol. It is really nice to see other women doing weights WAY heavier than I am and being way smaller than I am and know that if I keep going in the direction I'm going I can get there. It's been over a week and a half since I lifted anything and I didn't realize how much I missed it!

After reading so much and being so inspired I'm pretty much going to do the opposite of what I was planning. I was going to cool it on the heavy weights and focus more on a medium weight with more reps. I think I'm going to just train harder but focus more on free weights. I'm still kind of uncomfortable in the testosterone fest that is the free weight corner but if I can just get over it and act like I belong there maybe I can prove that I do. My main problem is that about half of the guys aren't there to train, they are there to show off or help their friend show off. I was trying to go grab some dumbbells and this guy was perched on the rack right over the 5 pound weights watching his friend do something fancy on one of those half-ball platform things. Now, I wasn't going to use the 5 pound weights, but anyone who did would certainly be intimidated by this jerkface. I did have to get close enough to him that he noticed he might POSSIBLY be in the way and got up and apologized unconvincingly. I think I chose to ignore him because I had my headphones on. As does anyone who is actually doing work(have you heard the music in the gym?). Anyway, the point is- it is hard to carve yourself a place in that corner of the gym if you don't have a Y chromosome. Not because it's difficult to lift, because that is implied and that's why you do it, but because if it is the least bit crowded it is almost impossible to avoid douchebags who are trying to prove their own worth in the most obnoxious and obvious way possible. I am more impressed by the guy silently slamming out 15 reps of his own weight on bench press than the guys taking up a squat rack alternating sets of 8 not-squats every 5 minutes with much to-do and grunting.

I'm sorry, I know I complain about these various and sundry asshats every few posts after I've had to encounter them but it is really coming to be my pet peeve. It's so distracting! Will tells me to ignore them, and I'm getting better at it, but I don't turn my music loud enough to drown everything out because my ears are too sensitive for that and I actually make myself aware of the people around me in case they get too close to me or something becomes unsafe. All that aside, I added 10 pounds to my deadlift and did 5 sets of overhead dumb bell presses in preparation for eventually doing a barbell overhead press which is apparently a big deal in the fitness world. haha I also added 5 pounds to the seated dip machine, bringing me to 56% of my body weight. Yay!

That is also because I'm continuing to lose weight[fat]: I did my bf% today and I'm down 3.2% from the end of March!! Basically this tells me that although the scale says I've lost 10 pounds in 5 weeks I've actually lost 11.3 pounds of fat! This is why you can't go on the scale alone, guys and gals. Your weight is only PART of the equation! So even though my thighs continue to stay solidly at a size 16 even if my waist is closer to a 14, I will do my squats for the rest of this month and forever. Though I think I will only do my lifting squats on actual leg days. I know I'm not gonna get huge or anything[despite every female's instinct] but It's still a concern that my thighs and not my waist will keep me from sizing down in pants. But if that's the price I have to pay for a toned lower half that looks better and better every week in shorts, than I'll have to be okay with that. 

It MAY Workout

So, I'm trying to figure out if fitness as a lifestyle is addictive, or if I might just have a slightly addictive personality anyway and this is my new addiction. Maybe it's both. It's like the more you try, the more you want to try. I was actually really sad I didn't get to go to the gym today. We re-arranged Will's room because he got a new TV so I spent most of the afternoon vacuuming the floor with a hand vac and helping move furniture. lol. I burned a good amount of calories just not the way I wanted to do it.

I think the more I teach my body, the more it wants to learn. It's like my brain usually is, a black hole of curiosity. "Oh, I like this, what else can we do?" I picked up Yoga MUCH faster than I expected but enjoy it just as much as I thought I would. I want to try belly dancing and get back into pilates and like a dozen other things that I've seen or heard of and want to know more. I'm a completely new person, unafraid of these "skinny girl" things even if I might be slightly apprehensive at first. 

I want to do this 30-day squat challenge I heard of on facebook. I think I need to alter(for now) my approach to strength training. I've been following the advice of my boyfriend, who has his own significant weight loss story that he achieved just by reading body building forums. But this approach, obviously, is mostly about weight-lifting and muscle gain. It has worked so far because the muscle I have gained has helped melt the fat on top of it. But now that I have a pretty strong base to work off of, I really want to focus on slimming down and keeping that muscle toned. 

It's like when you see those pictures of "Half their size!" and you're like "How was that beautiful skinny person hiding in that big fat person?". I can see the skinny person under there now. Before it took a LOT of imagination, but now I can clearly see her in there under that fat and extra skin. I want to let her free!! So, here's my new work out plan for the month of May: 

-On May 1st I'm going to start the 30-day squat challenge. I would LOVE if any of y'all want to do it with me! I got the idea from my friend and I wish I had started it with her. 

-Protein shake for breakfast every day. My goal is to really up my protein intake so I can maintain as much muscle as possible. Because...

-Cardio at every work out. Right now I let myself slack on cardio to like once or twice a week outside my classes. No more. I will do cardio every time I walk through those doors.

These are my main goals. I want to keep slimming down but at this point my muscles are growing enough that it's making my legs look bulky. But I'm down to a 16 pant and a L top so I'm pretty happy lately. I posted a picture from today on my facebook page if you didn't see it. NSV for real with my boyfriend telling me "You look like you don't have a stomach, you look fantastic!" haha. These are the things that keep me going! 

Everybody Loves a Top 10 List!

aka the NSV post inspired by a huge victory on the scale. haha.

First, I just have to do this. So here is a different picture of the fat vs muscle density difference.

Grapefruits and Tangerines

So here is the representation of my 50+ pound victory so far.

50 lbs of fat = space of 30 grapefruits

I've lost over 30 grapefruits worth of fat. lol. That's pretty awesome. At my next big mark I'll go fill a basket with grapefruit or something. lol I dunno if Walmart would appreciate that.

SO, here are the Top 10 Non-Scale Victories associated with my big scale victory

10. Having officially completed two 5Ks and actually WANTING to run more.

9. Feeling full without finishing a meal. It's amazing how much your stomach shrinks when it doesn't have all those grapefruits up there encouraging it. haha

8. Doing a mile on the elliptical in 7:08. I have essentially cut my mile in HALF[not in real life, unfortunately] on the elliptical from where I started.

7. Being down 4 sizes from where I was. Size 24 pant to size 16. Almost able to shop at ITG stores!

6. Leg pressing more than I weigh and doing more than half my weight on the seated dip. How soon is too soon to strap myself into that thing? lol

5. My boyfriend's jackets being too big on me. I dunno about the rest of you fat girls, but I always wanted to be that girl wearing my boyfriends too-big letter jacket. Goal achieved.

4. Being able to touch my elbows to my knees when doing bicycle crunches. You have no idea how much this always bothered and shamed me before and now I have to be careful not to bruise my legs with my elbows.

3. Talking to women at the gym after classes and seeing their faces when I mention how much I've lost.

2. Being able to do compound abs! Such a huge victory for me!! Oh, and being able to hold a plank for over a minute! Big time, y'all.

1. Going to the doctor and hearing nothing but "You look great!", "Wow!", "I am SO proud of you." and "Keep it up!"

I still have a long way to go but I am one HUGE step closer to being where I want to be! Thanks to EVERYONE for all the love, support and endless encouragement! I also feel the need to "shout out" to Kacee aka Butterbean4283 for keeping me accountable on MFP and achieving her own 50lb weight loss! Yay! Guys, this is possible! I'm not the only one doing it and YOU can do it, too! I honestly have the "If I can do it, anyone can!" attitude about this. You just have to find your motivation. 

The numbers are IN!

Got my measurements done today! I think I've successfully punched through that plateau. OVERALL I've lost 38 inches from my first measurements in October of 2011, which was roughly a year after I started losing weight. I really wish I had measured myself at my worst so I would know how far I've come. From my measurements since I started this blog, I've lost 6 inches total. They turned out about how I thought they would, which is good and bad. I've shrunk a lot in my torso, but my extremities are all the same, except for my calves which are actually bigger. But lets be honest, I'm not too upset that my soccer legs are reshaping themselves.

Because that's the thing, my legs and arms are obviously more muscular than last time, but for the most part they're almost exactly the same size. BUT they are, for once, symmetrical. Isn't that a thing, that people think you're more beautiful when you're more symmetrical? Well, sad news for that, 80% of people have one side of their bodies longer than the other. haha. When I first started only my calves were the same, my biceps and thighs were an inch different. Soo yeah. If we ignore the inches from my neck/arms/legs...

Negative inches from 01/2012
Chest: 1.5"
Shoulders: 0.5"
Waist: 1.5"
Hips: 2.75"
Total from torso: -6.25"

Most of this is back fat. Like really, my boobs are still the same size they were but I have less fat on my back. Also, I think it is safe to say I have literally danced my ass off with Zumba. The squats I'm doing make my glutes bigger and Zumba shakes all the fat off. I was telling Nichole that it's really frustrating when my waist and hips shrink faster than my thighs because then it's really hard to find pants that fit right. I'm 6/6.5" smaller in my waist/hips than in 2011. That's half a foot! So crazy.

So, hopefully by next week I will have met my goal and be officially 50, yes FIFTY, pounds down from the very start. I have a special post planned for that milestone so get excited! =) Thank you again, everyone, for all of your support! It means a lot and keeps me going when times get rough! And now so does this picture, which I will leave you with, that my friend Holly posted.

Plateaus and Legs

Y'all, these last few weeks have been ROUGH! I've been working hard, eating pretty well, under my calorie goals and I hadn't seen any real change on the scale. I went to a "fat-burning bootcamp" last Saturday and I weighed like 3 pounds more the next morning. Even if you're telling yourself "Muscle weighs more than fat" and even if your boyfriend is telling you [unsolicited] that your thighs, arms and waist are looking smaller; a girl can't help but plead with the scale to cooperate and get on board with everything else!

So last night Will had lots of homework, and I was exhausted from a long day so we ended up not going to the gym. And, to make the night even more guilt-ridden, we had fried chicken for dinner(which I haven't had in months). I was under my calories but over in fat, saturated fat and sodium. To make it even more lazy-feeling I slept in this morning. So I stepped on the scale this morning thinking that it would be the same numbers I've been looking at for the last 2 weeks. To my surprise I had lost almost 3 pounds! So, as of today I have lost 46 pounds from my start. I'm hoping that means my body is going to get back on track. I was pretty consistently losing 2 lbs a week for a while so I want to get back to that. I know your body will do everything on its own time but gosh it's annoying!

In other news, today was a leg day. I stopped doing the hip abductor/adductor machine a couple weeks ago and started doing plie squats with a dumbbell and some pilates moves for thighs. I also started doing full squats, because apparently Will and I weren't doing them exactly right. You're supposed to go all the way down where your thighs are parallel to the floor, but I wasn't doing it that far down before. At first I had lowered my weight but now it's back up to higher than it was before. So I started doing them free-weight on the 45lb bar and it's not as hard as I thought it would be.

Have I every told y'all how freaked out I was when I started doing squats? I had to start at a really low weight(like 60lbs lol) and work my way up. It wasn't that I couldn't do more weight physically but mentally I had to get over it. I really don't like things touching my neck, and I guess it's just the really constricted feeling of literally having all that weight on your shoulders. Like one wrong move and you're going to crush something or decapitate yourself. I mean, it's not gonna happen but in my mind I was one wrong move away from a horrific death. Lol. But I'm over that now and squatting like a champ-in-training. =) Today I upped it to 115 lbs after my first set at 105. I'm still doing leg presses at 180 but last week I did 5 x 10 so this week I did 4 x 12.

My normal routine used to be 3 sets of 15 reps for everything but I started trying to do higher weights at 5 x 10. This may have something to do with my "plateau"? I'm probably gaining muscle faster than I'm losing fat. I'm pretty sure I've talked about the muscle/fat relationship before but I really need everyone to see this picture again even if you've seen it before.

This is what you're working towards. Getting rid of that gross looking bumpy fat and trying to get more of that lean pretty looking muscle. So if you're working hard and getting on the scale and seeing that the numbers are staying the same, then that's okay. You just have to reprogram your[most likely female] brain to focus on your other successes: adding more weight on a challenging machine/exercise, being able to run longer or faster, or having more room in your clothes. All those "NSV". You HAVE TO stay positive, focused and motivated; because on this journey, it's a lot easier to give up then it is to stick with it. 

Say what? A Glossary.

Hey everyone! Sorry my Wednesday post is...2 days late...oops. Anyway! I am officially 43 pounds down from my starting point, which is about 2.5 years ago. I feel obligated to note that I was also down this much at this point last year, but this summer I will NOT go backwards. Hopefully I will FINALLY get some measurements done and I can see how much I've shrunk. I know for sure my butt is smaller than it was last year. I think it's all the Zumba. =)

This week I wanted to do a glossary of sorts. I was watching a bunch of nutrition/fitness videos and I felt like I was telling Will to pause it and explain things to me every other video. So, here are 5 terms I've run across in the videos, on MFP, or requests from my facebook friends. =)

Burpees: also called "squat-thrusts"
A favorite of personal trainers, this exercise is used as a combination of strength and aerobic endurance training. [The only time I've ever actually had to do these was the last boot-camp at my gym.] It's made up of 4 movements. First, from a standing position you squat down. Second, you put your hands on the ground in front of you and extend your legs out behind you like you're about to do a push up. Third, you return to the squat position. Fourth, you stand up. Now, Wikipedia has a disgustingly long list of all the ways you can make this already challenging move even harder. This is a good [concise] video I found on the correct form for a burpee.

DOMS: Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness
Yes, that irritating to debilitating soreness you get a day or two after working out has a name, and it is DOMS. I found a really great video about it here. Basically he's saying that it is a good and a bad sign. Good because you know you worked the muscle, in case you were in doubt. Bad because it means your muscles are not efficient. Just because your muscles are sore doesn't mean it was a good workout. Also, you can have muscles that aren't sore and still have worked them properly. A good example is that I used to get soreness to my abs after most of my workouts, but now I don't. I'm still doing the same moves with the same correct form, so I KNOW that I'm targeting those muscles and they're being worked. That's not to say I'm doing the same workout, because I've upped my reps and added weights in to some of my previously weightless ab stuff. If you're interested I would definitely watch the video I linked to above.

HIIT: High Intensity Interval Training
One of my friends told me about this so I had to do some quick research on it. There are SO many articles, I want to read them all! Basically, it is what it sounds like. HIIT alternates bouts of high-intensity exercise with a moderate-intensity exercise. Studies apparently show that it does as much fat burning in a shorter amount of time than steady-state exercising so it is optimal for 10-30 minute work outs. It has just come into focus in the past few years or so, from what I can tell. I think this concept will sound familiar to anyone that has done the C25K(couch to 5k) program. Or any of those "shreds" from what it sounds like.

Hypertrophy: referring to Muscular Hypertrophy
This is defined as the increase in size of the skeletal muscle due to the increase in size of the component cells. Simple enough. I believe I heard this word mentioned in the video on DOMS that I linked to and knew it sounded familiar but couldn't remember what it meant. This is basically the goal of anyone doing weight-training. There is tons of stuff out there on how to best achieve this so I'm not going to pretend I know. haha. Although I think the consensus is it takes lifting weights and eating enough protein.

NSV: Non-Scale Victory [Turns out there are a LOT of things this stands for. lol]
Saw this on MyFitnessPal when someone was talking about their pants being too big. This is a strange term to me because I find that depending on your scales for victories isn't a very dependable way to be reinforced. Yes, you will lose weight if you are burning more calories than you consume, but it doesn't always happen when you want it to or when you think it will. I think if you're going to stay positive about losing weight and stick with it, the majority of your victories should be NSV.

Speaking of, I've had several lately; which is good because the scale and I are at a stalemate once again. Lots of little things that Will has said and I've noticed about the way my face and body are looking. Soon I might get far enough away from some pictures I took about a year and a half ago to actually post them. I say this because it requires taking after pictures in my sports bra fit for me to actually post online and know that people will be seeing it. lol I'm almost there! =)

Sugar and Thighs and everything Wise

So, I had a really fabulous day. I did a REALLY intense leg work out today but a milestone one, for sure. I did 5 sets of 10 on squats and leg press. I "leveled up" on both, I guess you could say. I've been slowly adding 5-10 pounds a time on both and today I got to 90 lbs(1 big 45 plate on each side) and 180 lbs (2 big 45 plates on each side) on the leg press. I usually do 3 sets of 15 with less weight but today I felt like really pushing myself. I was pleasantly surprised at how not-quite-as-hard-as-I-thought it was. Definitely still pushed myself harder than usual, which needs to become my new "usual". THEN I went into the dark aerobics room(a group of gym rats had taken over the ab mats, giving me a good excuse to hide) and did some inner thigh exercises. I did a couple sets of some Pilates moves and then 3 sets of these altered squats with a weight that are supposed to work your inner thighs more. THEN I had myself a mini Zumba session. So yes, lots of fun. haha I basically put myself through a mini bootcamp. I need to check if they're having another one of those at my gym this weekend.

The New Norm

I've been needing to push myself harder because I have not lost any weight in the last week. It's weird because this March 1st I was exactly where I was last March 1st as far as weight and body fat%. This is good and bad. Good because that means I've come a long way in the last 2 months to undo everything I undid the 6 months before that. Bad because I essentially wasted a year. But I'm trying hard not to think about that. I've learned a lot in the last year about myself and my body and how it reacts and what it needs. And I've come a long way stamina and strength-wise. And I still haven't gotten anyone to do my measurements so I dunno if I'm exactly back where I was size-wise. I dunno, I keep going back and forth on that. But part of what is annoying me is that this was where I plateaued last year and I never got over it so now I'm gonna have to switch it up to get over it this time. Not exactly sure what I need to change but hopefully I'll figure it out. 

Looking back one of the biggest differences is my stamina, and I can't help but wonder if part of that is that I don't drink carbonated drinks anymore. I remember during soccer season when I played varsity I would cut sodas out for 3-4 months of the year because our coach suggested it. It always made my body feel better and I could keep up better. And I'm fairly certain I've mentioned it before, but: drinking water is the most important part of a healthy lifestyle. Yesterday on facebook I saw this picture and it really illustrates what I've tried explaining to people in the past. 

So for your viewing pleasure: Rethink your drink. 

This is a picture of the drinks and below the amount of SUGAR in each drink. Now, I'm not even gonna get into what all this sugar can do to you, the difference between natural sugar and added sugar blah blah blah. I just want to point this out solely from a weight-loss perspective. A 20 oz bottle of Dr pepper has 250 calories and 62 grams of sugar. So, say you normally have 2 of those in a day- That's 500 calories and 124g of sugar. [That's like 3 cookies or something] So say you manage to be under your calorie limit for the day drinking all those calories and you're still losing weight, great. Cut out just ONE of those sodas a day? You'll lose an extra 3.5 pounds in 5 weeks. Cut out both of them? 5 pounds. So in that scenario you could lose A POUND A WEEK just from cutting out sodas. This isn't to mention what replacing that soda with water will do for your body. I remember in the past I could lose 5 pounds in a week just by replacing soda with water. (Lent, anyone?) Trust me, you make the switch and your kidneys will be thanking you. 

Now I say "just", but I too was once a Dr. Pepper fiend. I transferred to diet dp and then I kicked it completely. I haven't had a soda in two months. I tried having one for the caffeine like 2 weeks into the new year and I felt awful! So yup, I slowly dwindled and as of this year I'm pretty much carbonation free. The doctor I work for claims that in the next 10 years we're going to find out all kinds of awful things sodas do to you like when they started actually researching what cigarettes do. The thing is, used properly, caffeine itself can do good things for your body. I've been wanting to do a post on caffeine and one on artificial sweeteners but I haven't done the research I need to to be able to talk about it like I want. I think it's important to know what you're putting into your body. It's one of the key shifts your brain has to make for this lifestyle change to really stick. You have to go from "this tastes good" to "this is good for me", and they don't always have to be mutually exclusive. When you start giving your body the right building blocks instead of complete crap for it to work with, it will reward you, I PROMISE! Not getting kidney stones from too many sodas is probably it's first "Thank You". You're welcome. 

Pizza and Cheesecake? Si Se Puede!

I was bad today and didn't work out. =( BUT I went to Zumba yesterday and I'm going to hit leg day hard tomorrow so I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. I promised y'all recipes today so here we go!

First and easiest is a tortilla pizza. Pretty simple and depending on your ingredients you can cater it to the level of healthy you want. I like the "carb balance" tortillas, they are only 80 calories a piece and high in fiber, which makes you feel more full. Put your oven on 350 and lightly brush one side of the tortillas with olive oil and add any garlic salt or seasonings you want. Put them in for 7-9 minutes depending on how crispy you want them. Pull them out and add your toppings. I used the no sugar added ragu(next time you make pasta, save a little bit of the sauce for pizza the next day or two), boneless skinless chicken breast shreds, one slice of bacon per pizza and reduced fat cheddar. Put those in the oven another 4-6 minutes depending on how many toppings you used. One of my pizzas was 256.7 calories, 15g fat 6g saturated fat and 18.8g protein! The carb balance tortillas are the small ones so I usually eat 2 of them. So for one meal it's just over 500 calories with 30g fat and 37g protein. Not stellar, but definitely better than the rough equivalent of eating 4 slices of chicken bacon pizza from papa johns- 1400 calories, 48g of fat and 20g saturated fat. 60g of protein but look at the cost! So yes, this is a good option if you like pizza but don't want to blow your whole day's worth of calories.

The next one is a new find that I have tried twice. Will found it on a body building forum. I've altered the recipe to fit a 9inch cake pan, because I wasn't going to buy the 6 inch pan that the OP used and I thought it was silly to use ALMOST all the cream cheese but not all of it.


16oz - Fat Free Philadelphia Cream Cheese(2 8oz packages)
13oz - F age 0% Fat Free Greek Yogurt
2/3 Cup egg substitute
1 Cup - Granulated Splenda
1/3 Cup - 1% Milk
1 1/2 Scoop - Trutein Vanilla Protein
1 1/2 tsp - Vanilla Extract
1/4 tsp - Kosher salt

Directions: All ingredients at room temperature.

1. Preheat Oven to 325 - Prepare 9" cake pan with non-stick spray and parchment paper in the bottom.
2. Cream Cheese in bowl - mix on medium until creamy
3. Add splenda - mix on medium until incorporated
4. Add eggs one at a time while on medium.
5. Add the rest of the ingredients - mix on medium for 3 minutes.
6. Pour in pan
7. Bake at 325 for 30 minutes. Turn oven to 200 for 50min - 1 hour. Remove and let cool on the counter. Wrap and refrigerate overnight.

So, I never measured my vanilla or salt...or refrigerated overnight...haha. The original recipe called for eggs but we only had egg substitute which worked out because I had to increase the recipe by a fraction. Now, you can probably omit the protein and this would still be a fabulous cheesecake recipe but it won't have the flavor so if you take the protein out make sure to add something to make it tasty. In the cheesecake that's sitting in Will's fridge we used his "chocolate dipped strawberry" trutein and 4 tablespoons of chocolate PB2. It is SO GOOD! Stats for with the PB2(powdered peanut butter) are for 1/8 of the cheesecake: 133 calories, 0.5g fat and 20.3g protein. The first time I followed this recipe except we used Cinnabun Trutein(which is the bodybuilders choice brand of protein, apparently) 122 calories, 0.2g fat and 19.6g protein. Sooo last night Will and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary at the cheesecake factory and we split a piece of cheesecake. My stats on HALF of a slice? 464 calories, 19.5g fat and it doesn't have the protein for it. So yeah, this is a HUGE improvement, even disregarding the protein. This thread on the protein cheesecake had 51 pages of comments and suggestions on things you could do and pictures of all the cheesecakes people had made. Of course you can add a crust to it and you omit the parchment paper, but it's pretty tasty and I didn't even miss the crust.

So, a low maintenance recipe and a high maintenance one. haha. Hope y'all enjoy those, let me know in the comments if you make them! =) And just so y'all know, I'm still on track with my 2 lbs a week and am down 16 lbs from the beginning of the year and 38 lbs from my starting point! I'm gonna try to get someone to do my measurements soon so I can see exactly where I am. I am feeling stronger than I ever have and am confident that I've lost more fat than the scale shows. I'm starting to be able to see definite fat loss in my calves and to some extent my arms. Progress!

Confessions of a Reformed Food-a-holic

Hey guys! So I have lots of different things I could talk about but I never really know what would be the most helpful, and it's been recommended that I do another food post since it's been about a while since I talked about my struggles with food.

As I've said in past posts, the biggest thing about your attitude towards food is to be realistic and honest while being disciplined. I am realistically always going to want something chocolate. BUT I never need anything fattening. So I have to find smart substitutes and make sure I have them or can make them. Simply getting rid of everything sweet in your house isn't gonna cut it because if you're going to crave something sweet, when you actually get your hands on it you're doing to undo a lot of hard work. Or you're going to raid your pantry and end up putting cocoa mix on your boring healthy cereal or something. [I haven't done that but I was just thinking about things that I could do with whats in my pantry.] This actually happened to me tonight after dinner. After a really good spin class(-724 calories) I came home and ate a really good dinner (Grilled chicken, green beans and whole wheat penne with low fat cheese: 406 calories) and then just really wanted something sweet. This will happen to you especially after work outs, don't give in! Your body is craving food and calories to replenish what you just spent- give it good stuff! So I did actually raid the pantry and came out with some blueberries and cream oatmeal(260 calories).

Not the best thing, but better than the cookies I could've made from the fundraising cookie dough in the freezer and the crunchy peanut butter that was on the counter. This is another good point for all of you looking at eating better: don't be tricked into thinking peanut butter is ok, or even good for you, it's not! I actually let myself have a tablespoon of it- 100 calories and 8 grams of fat! FOR A TABLESPOON! I shudder when I think of all the crunchy peanut butter sandwiches that fat Marissa made with extra pb. To this day I love peanut butter, but I rarely have it anymore. I use the powdered peanut butter in my baking and protein shakes and it's a lot healthier but creamy peanut butter is so unsatisfying to me it's not even worth it most of the time. That is something I've just had to get over. My fat crunchy peanut butter sandwich days ended years ago and I'm a smaller, healthier person because of it.

So yes, KNOW YOURSELF. If you have a sweet tooth, get things that are sweet but healthy (or at least have some redeeming qualities) to snack on. I've mentioned fruit, especially apples, before but my latest discovery is dark chocolate oven roasted almonds. They're not actually like coated in chocolate candy, it's like they were dipped in cocoa powder and then roasted. The best part is a serving size is 24 nuts, which is a pretty decent sized handful, for 160 calories and 5 grams of protein. You get to feel like you're eating a good amount, they're sweet and crunchy(which is always more satisfying to me for some reason). And almonds are one of those foods that health nuts(pardon the pun) are all about. "Power foods" or whatever they want to call them. Whatever, they're awesome. I definitely recommend almonds for snacking purposes, but make sure you look at the serving size and make sure they're not adding a bunch of crap to the seasoning and coating.

When I'm shopping for snacks or food, my eye goes straight to the calories. The second place it goes is the serving size/amount per container. Is this an acceptable amount of calories for this serving size? This is where people get tripped up. You see a small bag of chips, you look at the calories and you think "Oh that's not that bad..." but if you check it's sometimes 2-3 servings per container, not that anyone actually eats only 1/3 of a small-ish bag of chips. Well, maybe chronically skinny people do, I dunno. The point is, not only to check the calories, but to check the serving size. If you are debating getting a snack and you don't think you could limit yourself to only 2 cookies or 7 crackers or whatever, DON'T GET IT! Because then you'll be putting in 3 servings in your calorie counter and be crying that you ever bought a supposedly healthier something. One thing that I really like is these huge bag of veggie straws that we get from Sams. They have on the bag "sensible portions" and you think oh? really? But a "serving" of veggie straws(they look like colored straws and taste like baked salt) is 38 straws, which is a normal sized serving for someone who likes food. You know when you make yourself a sandwich and you get a modest handful of chips to put on your plate and it's just not enough so you get another handful? Yeah, that's about 38 straws. 130 calories, 7 grams of fat. Want some ruffles? 12 measly chips will cost you 160 calories and 10g of fat.

For all of you who like food- It's gonna be ok. You don't have to give up eating! You might have to give up eating specific things that you like as often as you want. I'm not saying you're never gonna be able to have ice cream again, just saying that you might have to limit it to once a month, or change which kind you have. You can get a whole cup(2 servings) of the no sugar added dutch chocolate blue bell (which is still pretty delicious) for 180 calories and 6 grams of fat. This is definitely a better option than the cup(again, "2" servings) of cookies and cream blue bell that is 360 calories and 18 grams of fat. It's all about giving yourself options and not beating yourself up too much. If you just burned hundreds of calories doing a killer work out and you'll still be well under your calorie goal if you have 180 calories of ice cream then tell yourself IT'S OKAY! Here's the way I look at it: Will you get skinnier faster if you don't eat the ice cream? Well, yes. Will you potentially devour a hot fudge sundae from Braums (580 calories and 30 grams of fat) if you don't let yourself eat something sweet and feel completely bummed and crappy about it if you DON'T? Potentially. ...lol Anyone who has ever loved food knows what I'm talking about here. Giving yourself small substituted-for-much-worse treats when you've earned them is going to do you a lot better than trying(and failing) to give up things completely. Because we've all got an inner fat kid we have to keep satisfied somehow.

Gooooooooooooool [The goal-setting post]

So this post is brought to you by: Progress! When I was using my calorie counter app, It informed me that if every day were like Friday and Saturday, I could lose 22 pounds in 5 weeks. Now, this is about 4.5 pounds a week, which is INCREDIBLE. In all senses of the word, because I didn't really believe it. SO, I apologize in advance if this gets tedious, but y'all stick with me because I think a lot of us need to think about things a little differently.

I'm gonna come out and say it: I want to lose another 100 pounds. This may sound crazy to you skinny people, but all of you fluffy kids out there can imagine where I'm coming from. I'm currently down 30-32 pounds from my "start" weight, which took me 16 months to lose and a year to keep off. I lost my focus and this summer I un-did a big chunk of my hard weight loss. I managed not to undo my muscle gain, which is an important distinction. So weight-wise I'm essentially where I was at this point last year, but I've got my best work out buddy back and we're both focused and ready to keep working.The thing I've got going for me that I didn't last year is that I've felt what 10 more pounds lighter feels like. I know that with just another couple months at this pace I could potentially be down to shopping consistently in regular stores by this summer. Last year that was my goal and I missed it because of lots of things going on with work and family and my boyfriend coming home. But this year I am more focused and determined than I have ever been. And I have a plan, a clear laid out set of goals. If I can stay on this track I'm on, I'll show you what I am capable of.

So here goes the micro-goal setting and meeting that you have to do within the bigger picture to stay on track. I have lost around 10-12 pounds in 5-6 weeks, that is just at my 2 pounds a week which is my goal on the calorie counter. Now the way I went hard this week puts me at 4.5 pounds a week. So let's be realistic and say that If I continue to work hard and eat well, I could potentially lose 15 pounds every 6 weeks, about 2.5 pounds a week. When you break it down into bite-sized pieces, it becomes a lot more conceivable. "I need to lose 100 pounds" well...yeah...but when you say it like that it sounds IMPOSSIBLE. But if I lose 15 pounds every 6 weeks for the rest of the year, I will have lost 115 pounds by 2014. I could even think that if I stayed on pace I wouldn't even have to lose weight during the holidays I would just have to maintain that last 6 weeks of the year. Happy Holidays! You've transformed yourself and now you can take pictures for Christmas cards to re-introduce yourself to all your friends! lol. Did that idea just cross my mind? It absolutely did.

Now, I know as I lose fat the weight will not be quite so "easy" to sluff off. I know this. I know it's going to be hard, even excruciating, the closer I get. But when I lay it out in such clear terms "Marissa, all you have to do is be under your calorie goal and keep working out and eating lean protein" it makes it a lot less stressful. I have to constantly be thinking about why I'm doing this. It's not just to be able to shop at H&M or eventually buy a wedding dress with only 1 digit in the size. It's so that 20, 30, 40 years down the road I won't be worried about checking my blood sugar every day or injecting myself with insulin. About getting out of breath playing with my kids and grandkids. Worried about what the possible side effects of this medication or that medication are, or how they interact, or how much my prescriptions are a month.You have to do what you can with the cards that you're dealt in life. My genetic deck isn't so hot but my cards can for the most part be trumped by diet and exercise. With a low BMI and a healthy diet, science suggests that I can keep everything I'm at increased risk for at a good distance. But you know what else you can keep with a low BMI and a healthy diet? Single-digit-sized clothing. And that's pretty encouraging, too. 

Mexican Standoff-ish

Y'all...The end of the week was INTENSE! Wednesday I tried a new exercise that I have been putting off: The dead-lift. This is the last weighted exercise I've really been avoiding that I've finally tried. I get scared of things that require me to go to the male show-off corner of the gym...aka the free weights area. There's always some sweaty guy who's giving himself the "who's your daddy" face in the mirror while he pumps excessive amounts of weight. And there may or may not be a grunting sound track. And you never want to get too close to him in the off chance that you will impair his view of himself in the mirror and incite his ['roid] rage. ...

Anyway, needless to say the free weight section of the gym is VERY intimidating because most people that frequent this area are like 10% body fat or less. I try not to think "wow, i'm technically 300-400% fatter than you"...because really these thoughts don't help when you're sticking your big Mexican butt out to do the exercise. Because that's what you have to do for dead-lifts. I specifically did the "stiff leg dead-lifts" because they're supposedly the preferred version for women. I watched a video of an extremely cut woman do them with the correct form so you should youtube it if you're interested. Anyway, the stiff leg version works your hamstrings more than the regular ones, but it's almost a whole body workout. So I did 3 sets of 15 with just the 45lb bar. Now, 45 pounds is a lot for the female first attempt at these, but in the free weight section you look STUPID doing anything with just the bar. Everyone else has heavy weights on both ends of a bar doing much more complicated movements than my tiny simple looking stiff leg dead-lift motion. So once again my advice is IGNORE ALL THE SKINNY MUSCLED PEOPLE. Seriously. Your eye is drawn to them because that's what half of them want, but don't do it unless you're looking specifically for correct form(which may also be a mistake in some cases).

So my adventure Wednesday in the free-weight section went surprisingly well. Until I realized Thursday morning that dead-lifts were evil. My hamstrings were so sore and tight I was constantly looking awkward in the downtime at work trying to bend over and stretch them. And my forearm flexors were sore and I was so confused at first until I realized that gripping the bar must've actually been a new and strenuous workout for me. I guess that's the muscle you focus on if you want to be a Ninja Warrior. In any case, Thursday I did 3.31 miles in 30 minutes on the elliptical and a good ab workout. I was debating taking the day off because I was so sore, but I really wanted to go to the bootcamp my gym was having on Saturday and I thought Friday would be the more prudent day to take off. It turned out to be a good choice, all the elliptical kept my hamstrings from getting too stiff and I just did a lot of stretching on Friday.

Saturday came and I was so pumped but nervous for bootcamp. Pumped because I knew that it was gonna be a brutal assault on all the fat in my body and I was going to burn a ton of calories, nervous because...well, the same reasons. lol. Mostly because at the bootcamp last month(which was my first one and I burned 1600ish calories in about 2 hours) I had 2 friends there so I felt a lot more comfortable. This time I was only going to know one of the trainers and maybe some people I recognized from spin classes and stuff. And it's only mildly encouraging that the one person there you're familiar with is the one that's making you want to cry out in pain and anguish. lol Okay it wasn't THAT bad. Overall it was a lot better than the first one. I've come a long way in a month, it seems. The jump squats and step presses and all the "sculpt" stuff was easier than it was last time, although not to say that it was easy in any acceptable sense of the word. The hardest part of the whole 2.5 hours was the compound abs. Now, I'm pretty good at ab stuff for a fat girl, if we're being honest. That is to say that if we're doing a set of 20 of a specific ab group that's moderately difficult I can hang. And if all we're doing is a series of single-target ab sets, I'm your girl. But you throw a compound ab at me and 5 in I'm doing whatever modification you offer to make it possible to complete my set of 20. I don't understand! It's starting to really frustrate me and it's something that I'm just gonna have to work harder on.  Those are times when you have to really come at the exercise head on and say "Okay only one of us is gonna win and it's not gonna be you".

My favorite part of the bootcamp was Zumba(surprise!). If they put anything else at the end I'd be screwed. We'd already been working out for an hour and 45 minutes when we started Zumba. 105 minutes BEFORE starting 30 minutes of straight cardio dancing. My stamina has DEFINITELY gotten better. It's funny because yesterday I was like "GROSS I haven't smelled this bad since my soccer days" but that's probably because I haven't pushed myself that hard for that long since those days of old. I was doing Zumba thinking "God, please don't let these people smell me over themselves". lol. So after I did an extra song with only like 4-5 other crazy people after everyone else had left, I got in the sauna. It felt so good to stretch out and relax all those muscles that I just worked out so hard. According to my heart rate monitor that got stopped for a few minutes somewhere between compound abs and burpees(which I also suck at but it's ok because very few people are good at those) I worked out for 2:34 hours and burned 1817 calories. Oh and the best part was this morning I weighed myself and I've lost 10 pounds in the last 5-6 weeks. =D I'm on track with what I want to do, and most likely my next post will be about goal setting. Next week there is an "Aqua Bootcamp" which I'm interested in so I will definitely keep y'all posted on that. Thanks for all of you reading and all your comments and facebook encouragements and everything. It really means a lot to me! Y'all make it easier for me to write this knowing it is actually helping some of you with your own trials and tribulations. =) Let's do this, people!

Awesomeness is Exhausting.

Seriously. I'm so worn out from being awesome all week. =P haha but really, let me tell you about it!!

Monday I tried a new class!! It's called "body sculpt" and then there's like 10 mins of straight abs at the end. Holy crap it was such a good workout. It was like a super high energy group training session. My balance is apparently awful so some of the stuff was really hard for me, but it was fun.

Tuesday I had an hr with josh (who apparently has a man/trainer crush on my super buff bf) and we did upper body. This translates to arms, chest and back; and then the hardest ab circuit he's ever had me do. It was like 5 diff things and I only did it twice. I felt so accomplished when I was done though. That's always the best feeling. =)

Wednesday I did spin, of course! Unfortunately it was a different instructor bc Nichole was sick, so it took a little getting used to. And then today I did Zumba again!! Both of these I burned less calories than I did last time but it's because Wednesday the teacher was running late, and today I was running late. Haha. So today I was also supposed to train for 30 mins with josh but he had to leave. But instead of going to take a nap like I REALLY wanted to, I went BACK to the gym. I let Will suggest what I did, and then added hips and abs on top of that. I went HAM, as they say. Lol. Here's a pic, actually.

Sooo yeah. I gave myself a really freaking hard ab circuit if you couldn't tell. I'm trying so hard to actually see results next week! And of course, by this summer. But jeez I need to get some sun before then. Maybe now that it's nice I'll actually start doing some of my mileage outside. What a concept, huh?

Gym Juggernaut

Y'all... I cannot even begin to tell you how much I enjoyed Zumba class. I knew I would, but I didn't realize I was gonna have so much fun! Especially because 2 of the songs we danced to were straight off my workout station. I burned close to 1,200 calories in that hr class and I enjoyed every minute of it. After that I actually had a pretty positive sauna experience. Haha. It was more crowded but all the women in there were normal->big and chatty so until they left it was ok, then I got to lay down and it helped, I think. I actually strained my left lat[timus dorsi] so instead of training with josh we just talked while he showed me some stretches.

They must've helped bc I felt better enough today to go to my hour group training and burn 800 calories with Nichole. =) I kinda wimped out on these pike things she wanted us to do at the very end bc any way I did them my back was yelling at me. Haha. But it was a fun circuit training thing where we went in a rotation and did all sorts of stuff. The hardest for me was probably the jump roping. I was really good at the beginning but as I got more and more tired the harder and harder it got. Haha. My favorite was this weird ab thing I've never done before but I really liked. ...I just tried to explain it but I kept having to delete it bc it didn't make sense. Lol. Maybe I'll draw you a picture later. I think I'm gonna add it into my ab sets next week. =)

Speaking of next week- I'm gonna be hitting it hard again(I've gone to the gym 5 days in a row this week!). I'm planning on going to spin Monday, an hr with josh on Tuesday, spin Wednesday, and Zumba on Thursday. Bc week after that will be time for measurements again!! I WILL be down to a 14 by the beginning of this summer. It will happen, I am determined. I'm not ready for a bikini yet or anything, still too much back-fat-roll and thigh jiggle, but I'm slowly but surely getting there. Hmm, you might not have wanted to know the specifics on that, sorry. Lol. The main thing is, I will be down to a size where they SELL bikinis, even if I shouldn't be wearing one yet. Lol.

You know what else I shouldn't be wearing? These red soccer shorts I've been living in for the last like, 8 years. They're way too big but because they're also a tad on the short side, they're starting to be inappropriate for public wear. At least if I'm doing ab stuff where lifting my legs is involved bc my thighs are small enough now where the leg holes are way too big. Haha. More TMI for those of you I don't know as well, but there it is. Lol. So favorite red shorts are officially retired for gym use! Yay! This means I need to go find a pair that actually FITS me! Such a novel concept. Lol. Now where's the closest adidas outlet?

Saunas Suck, Surprisingly

Hey guys! So, Wednesday spin class was pretty good today. Every week my endurance is up and I can TELL! Gotta love results you can actually feel even if they're not measured. Yesterday I was on the elliptical for 30 mins and I did 2.3 miles so I feel pretty good about that. I burned 850ish calories yesterday and 750ish calories today so I am gonna step it up tomorrow bc I like to have at least one day in the gym a week where I burn around 1200 calories.

Also, tomorrow I'm going to my first Zumba class!! I've been wanting to try it for ages but I didn't want to go by myself and I couldn't find one at a time I liked, but now they offer one tomorrow at the same time as my spin class was today! A few of us were talking after spin and we're going tomorrow so we all have friends to help us laugh at ourselves. =) I'm really excited! And of course I will let you known how it goes. So tomorrow I'm going to Zumba in the morning and then I have a half our with josh in the afternoon, and THEN Friday morning I have an hour small group with Nichole. So basically I'm using this week to go to the gym every day and kick my butt back into gear. I'm gonna be so exhausted. I'm still a bit sore from legs on Monday, but yesterday after I did my ab circuit [ 3 x (20 flat bicycles, 12 leg-extensions/reverse-crunches/whatever-you-call-them, 20 Jesus sit ups)] I decided to try out the sauna. My glutes and quads were still killing me(I was cursing myself for doing those 2 extra sets of leg presses the day before) and I knew that supposedly the sauna helped.

Well, how does one go about getting in the sauna at the gym? Good question! I have NO IDEA. I didn't have a towel with me, other than my already drenched workout hand towel. Even if I did, I wasn't going to strip down and wrap myself up for a post-workout steam. Ok well I have nice thick boy shorts on and a good sports bra and they happen to both be black, so I could just lay there in my underwear...right? Shows you how far I've come that this was actually my initial plan. But do I strip to my skivvies in the locker room and walk over there in my underwear? I'm not ok with this plan anymore. Ok... So maybe I just wait and take off my shirt and shorts once I get in there? Good plan. So I took off my shoes and socks and left them with my keys in a locker. I took my water and my phone with me, and walked barefoot to the sauna(making a mental note to bring my flip flops next time I wanted to do this). So I take a quick glance at the warning posting, make note that I am not pregnant or drunk so I should be good to go but to leave if I feel dizzy or nauseas(duh?). I open the door and walk in and find not just one, but TWO skinny girls laying in there fully dressed with shoes and everything. Well, crap. So at this point, in my mind, I have no socially acceptable choice but to lay there fully dressed in the remaining spot (which is on the lower "shelf", if you will, and slightly more narrow than the upper one). So there I lay with my two very small and very silent sauna companions trying to be as unobtrusive as I can with about 5 inches of my right side hanging off of the ledge that I'm on. Oh by the way, it's 180 degrees Fahrenheit according to the sign outside, and I'm sweating even more than I was while I was just pounding out my last ab circuit to the 2 step remix while trying to ignore the 5-7 young good-looking guys trying to look impressive for themselves and everyone else in the mirrors by the ab mats.

So I lay there for a couple minutes, trying to move as little as possible while trying to figure out what to do with my arms. Skinny girl #1 gets up and leaves, so I wait til she's definitely gone and get up to move to the upper shelf which should just about be wide enough for my Latina hips. I sit there for a minute to decide how I want to situate my self when ANOTHER intimidatingly thin girl comes in and lays down where ITG(intimidatingly thin girl) #1 just was. Well, crap. Now I don't have room to also lay down, which is apparently the ideal position for cooking yourself post-workout. I sit there and try to decide if I should just leave even though I've only been in here for about 5 minutes when skinny woman #2 leaves. yay! So I move to her spot and lay down, even though that puts my feet about a foot and a half away from ITG but she's listening to her music so she can pretend to ignore me and it'll be all good. So I get comfy and lay down and desperately wish I could take off my shirt but ITG is, again, fully clothed with shoes and everything so I figure I can deal for another couple minutes. Which really, is all I can deal with. The heat feels good on my tired muscles but I am warm natured anyway and this is becoming a little too much for me. I stick it out about 4 minutes after ITG's arrival and then I have to bail. My shirt is sticking to my chest and back, which may look good if you belong in a magazine but isn't a good look for me, trust me. Besides I've drained my water and I want some more. So I try to extract myself as un-awkwardly as I can, and pass another magazine-worthy girl about to go in to cook herself. The room-temperature air feels blissfully cool against my skin and I am suddenly more thankful that I am barefoot. Haha. I enjoyed the heat on my muscles and today I feel like it probably did help, but I don't know if it's worth the awkwardness. I really want to try it again tomorrow after Zumba, but if there is more than one other person in there I just don't know if it's worth it.

I'd cut my losses and just get in the hot tub if I had a swim suit that fit, but un/fortunately, I'm fairly certain my one from last summer would fall off of me before consulting me if it was convenient. And the thought of swim suit shopping right now while I'm right between regular and plus size pretty much makes me want to punch someone. Probably an ITG unwarily making things awkward in the sauna.

Marching Towards Progress

Well I finally have a good picture where I look noticeably smaller, so I wanted to share those with you. The first half of this wk was a waste bc I was at job training (my company got bought out so I have to re-learn my job under the new company) so I didn't get to work out and Tuesday I ate so much pizza. Lol anyway so yesterday I went to spin and then worked out hard for another 45 mins so I burned 1412 calories yesterday. I was almost at negative calories for the day until I let myself eat some tagalongs. Lol. I don't feel bad about it tho. =P anyway, let's see if I can show these to you.

This first one is from April 2010, just under 2 yrs ago. This was right before I moved home. The next 6 months from there was the biggest point I've been, although I don't know specifically. I didn't have a scale when I was in school, and fat girls don't like weighing themselves anyway. Lol

This is from March 2011, probably about 10 lbs down from that last picture. This is about 5 months after what I'm considering "before". At this point I had been doing Pilates and was a little more conscious of what I was eating.

And this of course is from this past weekend, March 2012. 25-30 lbs less than the previous picture, although probably down I'm guesstimating 35 lbs of fat less. I put on mostly muscle the summer after that when working out with Will, and stayed roughly the same weight the whole summer, even tho I was very slowly losing inches.

My bf% is still going down, faster than my overall weight, so I just have to stay really focused on the positives and not the very slow moving scale progress. I feel stronger every day, and that mix of weight training/muscle building and cardio/calorie burning is going to be the best formula for success, especially when I can keep my overall calorie consumption at a reasonable level.