V-I-C-T-O-R-Y, That's the Shrinking Battle Cry!

...lol. I dunno, I need to go to bed. So many NSVs lately! Sorry I'm a COMPLETE failure at blogging lately, but I have mostly been succeeding in real life. =) I'll give y'all a quick update and then maybe talk about calorie restrictions.

I've been sticking pretty good with IF, maybe a few days not quite the fast I was looking for. I also recalculated my calorie intake which I will talk about more in depth later. For the last 2 weeks I haven't been losing the 2 lbs/week I was maintaining prior to that. I actually was kinda stuck in a rut, and had been stuck at the same number on the scale for almost 2 weeks. I was gonna give my recalculation a week or 2 to settle so I was about to have to go back to the drawing board. Happy to say when I weighed in a few days ago, I was down FOUR pounds! So, still averaging 2 lbs a week. =D On track to reach a HUGE goal before Labor day! Also hopefully going to be able to finally share my progress pics! I'm 78lbs down now and I was planning on the big reveal at -80 lbs. So hopefully by next week! =D

I'm really excited guys. REALLY, really excited! I've had so many compliments lately, it's really spurring me on to keep going. Some highlights are:
-Will putting his hand on my stomach at the movie theater while I was standing and he was sitting and asking "Are you sucking your stomach in? It's so flat!"
- People at church telling me how great I look
- My old trainer Nichole telling me I'm getting some great curves and complimenting me on my progress.
- A patient today asking me "Have you...How much weight have you lost?" She hasn't been in since March, and we started seeing her in December, so I've lost about 50 lbs since we started seeing her. I looked at her chart "Well, since I saw you last...about 35 lbs?" Her mouth almost fell open she looked so shocked. She was so sweet and supportive it really made my day. It'll be a couple months until she comes back and she said "Well, keep it up!" I told her hopefully the next time I saw her I'd be skinny for real. haha

One of the biggest victories from this past weekend was that I went to Lane Bryant this weekend and pretty much confirmed that I can no longer shop there. The tops/dresses are sized 14/16 and were too big, the underwear sized 14/16 probably could've fit for the next couple weeks but I didn't want to waste money on that. And I couldn't even find a pair of 14 shorts to try on, and the 16s are way too big. So yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Officially out of plus sized stores. This is a HUGE victory for me. Probably one of the biggest so far in this long winding road. I tried on a bunch of clothes from the big bag o' 14s [I got from a friend a while ago] and pretty much everything fits except the Eddie Bauer size 14s. The Levi's size 14s fit perfectly so I'm calling that official. lol.

So, this is a huge benchmark for me, and i'm really stinking excited to have finally made it. This is officially the smallest I have ever been in my adult life. I might have been a 14/16 my freshman year of high school, but nothing near this toned and lean. In another month or 2 I'm gonna have to sit down and really do my research and evaluate where I want to go with this last leg of weight-loss. I've learned so much but feel like I have so much more knowledge I could chase after. In my next post I'm gonna talk about the different things I've considered so far how I've readjusted every few months. Thanks, once again, to EVERYONE on this long crazy journey. I hope y'all have enjoyed reading about it and continue to root me on! =)

Why my pants sag off? I'm working my ass off!

Paraphrasing a Kanye line there that has always made me laugh. Finally took some new pictures today!

Woot!

Went to Old Navy today because they were having a sale and, of course, because none of my clothes really fit. I'm down another 2 lbs this week still going strong on IF so I think this is working for me! haha. If anyone has some size 12s they want to donate to a good cause, I'll be there soon! These are a 12 from Old Navy which really means that I'm probably pretty solidly in a 14 at most stores possibly a 16 where they run small. This is a medium top, too. Today was the first time I've ever experienced the frustration of the average-sized girl. There were no mediums/14-12s left in the colors I wanted!! So, this is what I ended up with, which I do like. I'm gonna wear it to a Rangers game this upcoming week! =)

So in honor of the summer, here is a look at the last 3 summers in comparison to this one. I'm so glad I've discovered lifting heavy and more recently IF. I've made much better progress in the last 6 months than I have in the last 3 years! haha.

Sizes 2x/24, 2x/22, 1x/18 and M/12 respectively 

Maybe over the summer I'll do a monthly progression from where I've been since December, which is when I really started back up again. Luckily between being in a sorority and recently actually trying to document my progress, I've got a LOT of pictures from the past several years. =) I've got some progress pics planned to debut in August that I'm pretty excited to see where they are. =D

Still slightly bummed about all this subcutaneous fat/ "loose skin" on my upper arms and thighs but it's shrinking too just at a much slower rate. I've been doing lots of random stuff to get it to tighten up and I think it's working to some degree. I just want to wear tank tops and be able to flaunt my newly discovered biceps and shoulders and shorts to show off my squat-strengthened legs! *sigh* I'll get there, I know. I dunno why I'm all of a sudden impatient now, I guess because I have been making such substantial progress lately, I feel like I should have more to show for it than bingo arms and saggy inner thigh cellulite. =P

So...what's new? I got back to all of my classes this week! I forgot if I said that last time but I went to my normal Tuesday Zumba and Wednesday yoga. Felt sooooo good! I was actually sore from yoga until yesterday! We did a lot of twists so my obliques were really angry afterwards. haha. I did back/shoulders yesterday and legs today. I would usually do chest/arms today but my shoulders were SO SORE that I had to switch because I didn't think I was gonna be able to do anything. haha. My low back was still a little sore today so my squatting didn't go as well as it normally does. I did get some satisfaction that the skinny guy in the rack next to me was deadlifting less than I can, but by the end he was probably lifting more than I am as far as percentage of body weight so I gave him a break. =) I still felt really strong even with my sore back.

I really love lifting weights. Y'all might be tired of hearing it, sorry. It's hard to explain the sense of accomplishment of lifting something heavier than you did last time if you don't already understand it. It's just such a tangible measure of strength. I had 135lbs across my back, a 45lb bar and two 45lb plates, and thought "This is a lot lighter than I thought it was gonna be". As my warm up/deloading weight. 2 months ago I wasn't near maxing out at that and I wouldn't have DREAMED that would be this easy for me. I've gotten to the point on some lifts where my grip strength or accessory muscle strength is limiting my actual lifts.  I need to get my back stronger so I can squat more, and I need to get my grip stronger so I can dead lift more. And I need to actually focus on form and technique for bench press. I swear it's the red-headed step child of my workouts. haha. I'll get to it soon! I'm sure I will be posting a triumphant blog when I start making big gains in my bench press. =) Sorry about the spotty updates recently, I've been getting back on my normal schedule now that Will is home. I've been keeping my facebook page pretty well updated though, if you're on facebook(ha) and want to follow that. =) As always, thanks for all the sweet words and encouragement! 

IF you give a girl some coffee...

So I'll be double posting this week to make up for missing last week, get excited! Depending on my schedule, Wednesday might be a progress pics post! =) Just got down to a size 14 bermuda short! My legs are all bruised from deadlifts so I'm trying to wait for them to fade before I show off my legs. haha. If you like pictures, I am occasionally posting some here that don't make it to the blog, so you can check that out. As of last week I am down 70lbs from my starting weight and pretty soon I will be ready to announce to the world exactly how fat I used to be. haha. I had to get pretty far away from it before I would even hint at it on Fitocracy but now I'm in a place where I'm happy with my progress and find that hard numbers are more appealing especially when those smaller numbers seem SO impossible when you feel SO fat. So yeah, coming-out-party of sorts TBA. =D

So I said I'd talk about IF [Intermittent Fasting] this post and I will GLADLY tell you about it. I also feel like at this point in my blog since I'm starting to get people reading that I don't actually know in real life, I feel obligated to let y'all know that I share all this information as stuff I have found to be helpful for me in my fitness journey, and do not claim to be any kind of expert in anything. I can only share what I've read and let you know what's working for me. Now, if you're not familiar with the concept, this is a really comprehensive overview of the science behind fasting and intermittent fasting. Basically, if you don't eat for an extended amount of time, your body responds by increasing fat oxidation, i.e. burning fat. And this is the fat that really likes you and wants to stay with you forever, the "stubborn fat". The fat that is currently ruining[read: hiding] my would-be-beautiful arms and legs. *sigh* So the optimal fat burning window I read (I think on leangains) is over 16hrs fasted. Anything over I think 8 hrs is elevated from "normal".

So since June 10th I have been doing a 16/8 split of fasting and eating. That is to say, from (roughly) 7pm to 11am I am fasting. I try to finish eating dinner by 7 and I don't eat again until lunch around 11. It's really been fairly simple. I got kinda hungry the first week, but not exceptionally so because I've never been a huge breakfast person. For a while a few months ago I was forcing myself to eat breakfast mostly because "you should" and not really because I was hungry. I found that it made it harder to stick under my calorie goal not only because I was having an extra 300ish calories first thing in the morning, but also because by lunch time I was SO HUNGRY that it made it harder to be happy with my deficit-sized meal. Now, I got to add back in something that I had cut out for a long while- coffee. It was kind of necessary when I was weening myself of caffeine and Dr. Pepper that I kick coffee as well. My poor body just craved the caffeine and I still had such a sweet tooth that after all the stuff I put in my coffee, it was calorically almost as bad as the full calorie can of DP! Now I can put a tablespoon (25 calories) of fat free flavored creamer in my coffee and It tastes just fine!

The beautiful thing about coffee/caffeine is that it is an appetite suppressant and fat-burning-motivator in one. I don't want to say "fat-burner" because I don't think the caffeine really helps burn the fat as much as it helps kick start the fat burning process. But also, because coffee is a viable substitute for breakfast, it helps you think you've already eaten and you shouldn't be hungry. And also, I just really missed coffee so this is all kinds of win for me. =) Most people who follow some form of IF usually use coffee or tea to get through their fasting periods. Drinking lots of water is also important but as I've stated in the past, that's never been a problem for me so I just keep up my good hydration habits. So, coffee for breakfast, lunch for lunch, dinner for dinner, water alll day. Stop eating after dinner. Simple.

I remember reading people commenting about IF that it was hard to get in their calories and should they be eating more and blah blah blah. I'd had some days where I had been really good- too good, you could argue- and been pretty far under my calorie goal. But I couldn't imagine having to get advice on how to eat more. What? Who are you? What is your life like? Can I have this problem? Well, I kind of did towards the end of the first week. I just wasn't hungry or didn't have enough time to fit everything in during my 8 hours of allotted eating time[the term is "feeding window" but it makes me think of zoo animals or something so I don't like using that term. lol]. I figured out that if I just added a snack that I would be okay. I actually went over my calorie goal a few times and I still managed to lose 4 lbs in the last 2 weeks. I had been losing 2 lbs pretty consistently there for a while, but over the last month or two, it had slowed to about a pound a week. This has kick started my weight loss back to where it was and I think is exactly what I needed to get me back on track to getting to where I want to be by the end of this calendar year.

Another thing to note about why IF works in a strictly calorie restriction vein- I think a lot of people experience this "falling of the wagon" happening at night. Having a sweet craving an hr or 2 after dinner, wanting to munch on something while watching a movie or being on your computer. The kind of mindless eating that can really inhibit weight loss seems to happen the most at night. So if you cut out the munchies, which you should do anyway, and then happen not to eat breakfast the next day (hello, 8am classes- we used to always skip breakfast) you've probably already done your 16 hour fast without any real effort or elaborate planning. Now you have your whole days worth of calories to eat in the time you'd usually eat 2 meals. See how much "extra" food banking those calories bought you. You've earned yourself a cookie. 

Crazy Schedule Meets Crazy Yogi

The last week went by so quickly and my routine is so off because of this upcoming concert that I actually stopped and said "Oh, today is Wednesday...I need to blog". haha. I can't decide if I have nothing to say or too much to say.

My regular routine has been smashed to little bits, but I'm coping surprisingly well. haha. With my boyfriend, Will, being gone and my added rehearsals for the choir I'm singing with until Sunday I am just trying to make sure I'm going to the gym- but my class schedule is completely different. Theoretically LA fitness has very similar class schedules so that you can always go to a specific class at a specific time at almost any gym. Well, except my gym doesn't have yoga at the same time as Will's gym. So I tried the yoga class at my gym and I knew it wasn't going to be anywhere near as cool as my regular class but I went in with an open mind. I'm glad I had prepared myself because it was really different. It started out and I was afraid it was going to be more "restorative" yoga but then after like 15 minutes of basic stretching we started doing all these balance things and I was like, uuuuuuh...crap. I balanced on my head/shoulder, one foot and my butt bone. I use the term "balance" loosely of course. =) So that was Friday, and I talked to the teacher afterwards because I was curious what her kind of Yoga was called. She said it was Hatha. She also said some things that almost rubbed me the wrong way, but I dismissed it because Yogis are supposed to be super chill, so maybe she wasn't as judgmental as she sounded.

I decided to give her class another try because lets be honest, balance isn't my strong suit so that could only make me better. Class was mostly the same and I was a little better at standing on one foot, and a little worse at balancing on my round squat-enhanced butt. Well after Sunday's class I spoke to her again, and this time she definitely said things that put me off. Some of her advice was good, but she definitely frowned upon my weight lifting; made a comment that suggesting that I wasn't treating my body right. She also told me that if I did yoga enough that I wouldn't need to lift anymore. ...Um, you're making the assumption that that is a goal of mine? After I already told you I'd been lifting much longer than I've been doing yoga? I dunno, it was very strange for her to say that to somebody who told her they had only been doing yoga for about 2 and a half months. I was talking to her because I was curious about her specific discipline, not because I wanted to adopt it as my own right now, forevermore. *sigh* Anyway, so I don't think I will be going to her class again. I would on Friday, but I think I'm going to go back out to the other gym so I can take Will's brother to work out. I think he's been slacking in our absence so I need to go crack the whip! =P

I really miss Zumba. Like really really. I went 2 weeks ago and not since and I want to DANCE and be silly and burn calories! But, there is a bootcamp at my gym on Saturday and there is a Zumba portion at the end so I am definitely looking forward to that!! I missed the May bootcamp...and maybe the April one? I can't remember. But I'm definitely going this Saturday early afternoon so if we're friends "IRL" please text me if you want to go, I'm allowed to bring friends. =)

Well, I was going to talk to y'all about my new adventures in intermittent fasting, but I think it will have to wait. I started Monday so maybe I should wait til next week to really write about it. BUT I will tell y'all that another thing about my schedule being different is weighing on a different scale. Every time I would weigh myself on the scale at home it would be 1-3 pounds different than Will's scale. And i'm not talking about normal through the day variations. I mean one time I tested it and weighed myself right before I left, and then right when I got home and it was 2 pounds different. So I just decided I wasn't going to weigh myself until after he gets home in a couple weeks. Well, it's kinda driving me crazy but it's also kinda nice. I know I've lost weight so I'm just going to be content in the feeling that my clothes are getting looser and I've been picking up progressively heavier things. I got on the scale today and saw a number 4 pounds lighter than what I saw last week so I'm just gonna keep it in mind but not officially log it in MFP or anything.

Today was chest day and it was awful and wonderful at the same time. Upper body workouts are usually like that for me. I feel so weak because my arms are nowhere near as strong as my legs. But I would rather be like that than like the guys that are curling 80lb dumbbells but then can only quarter squat 135 lbs. *sigh* But I AM making improvements which is, after all, the whole point. I am slowly but surely becoming a better(and smaller) version of myself. =)

Measure Twice and Cut Once? Something Like That...

Well this is going to be the biggest progress post I've had in quite a while!! As of this weekend I have officially lost 65lbs from my starting weight! So Saturday I celebrated at the gym by taking this picture:

Not the most flattering...

That's a 65# dumbbell and it was actually harder to pick up than I expected it to be. Saturday I set ALL KINDS of personal bests, some of which I might not attempt again for a while. That's because Will is gone for Navy training for 3 weeks so we had our own kind of going away party in which I maxed out on bench press, squat and dead lift just because he won't be here to spot me for a while. I also did bad ass on the leg press and I squatted that dumbbell for 2 sets of 5. I was tired from barbell squatting more than I weigh, though, so I probably could have done more if I had started out with those. After a short rest though, I went and leg pressed more than TWICE what I weigh. I hadn't done leg presses for probably 3 weeks just because I was doing so many squats and didn't want to tire myself out. It was like my legs were like "oh great you're letting us push the weight up from beneath instead of above? Let's go!" Saturday was nuts!

So that was the huge gains from the completed squat challenge. It's more noticeable than my pictures which I forgot to get Will to take them before he left so it's on a different camera in a different place by a different photographer...lol. So pretty much the opposite of a good before and after picture, but here we go:

In this month, I only lost 5 pounds on the scale but doubled my leg strength

So, while the improvements aren't super visible in these pictures, my legs are SO much stronger and smooth and hard to the touch. You can kind of tell that they're smoother but only if you look really hard. I don't know if you can tell that my clothes are looser. My butt has also never been "saggy" really to begin with so there wasn't a whole lot of lifting to be done...lol. But yes, the stats on this are way more exciting than the pictures. =D  And you know, being less jiggly in the thigh area is a definite improvement. =P

So now for my measurements! I'm never really sure how to give these, but this works as well as anything:
Negative inches from 03/27/2013[Total since 10/14/2011]
Neck: 0.75 [0]
Chest: 2 [6.5]
Shoulders: 2 [4]
Waist: 0.75 [6.5]
Hips: 2 [8.5]
Biceps(R+L): 2.25 [11.25]
Thighs(R+L): 3.25 [8.75]
Calves(R+L): 2.25 [7.25]
Total inches lost: 15.25[52.75]

So, let me make a few quick comments on these numbers!! First, in 10 weeks I've lost more than a foot off of my circumference. In 61ish weeks I've lost more than 4 feet. BUT, I would like to point out that in those 10 weeks I've only lost 16 lbs but 3.2% body fat. In those 61ish weeks I've lost 46lbs and 8.5% body fat. So the big difference in the past 10 weeks is that I've been trying to be more conscious of the amount of protein I'm eating and trying to eat what I'm guesstimating to be 1g per pound of lean body mass, which is what is recommended for increased muscle growth. Ok hold on, I'm about to get really nerdy. So, since that change I've lost 34.7% of the weight, but 37.6% of the body fat% and only 28.9% of the inches. SO basically what that means is that my body composition has been changing a lot in the last 2 months.

This is why I tell people to take lots of measurements! If I went strictly by my weight or BMI, I wouldn't be getting the full story. The fact that my per week weight loss has slowed but my strength gains have gone through the roof and my fat loss% has increased as I have increased my protein% intake is clearly pointing to the fact that I am gaining muscle and losing fat at the same time and at changing speeds. Although, to be completely honest, I'm not entirely sure how accurate my bf% from today was, and I might retake it Friday morning and get back to you. It was the same as it was when a checked it after the first week of the squat challenge and I KNOW I've gained muscle since then and lost weight. So yeah, I could write a whole post (and people have) about how inaccurate bf% calculations are in general. There are tons of different ways to do it and they err anywhere from 2-6% sooo yeah. Another topic all together.

The point is, documenting things is important if you want to stay on track. Looking at the squat challenge pictures alone is kinda disappointing until you realize that the amount of weight I could lift pretty much DOUBLED and it gained me a lot of muscle and lost me a few inches overall. So, the next step from here? I'm currently doing a plank challenge, which I tried to start in May but then got too busy with all the squats. I want to start a strength training program and I'm looking at a few but haven't picked one yet. I'm still trying to decide from here what route I want to take to my final destination of "fit and healthy". What will get me there the fastest? Is that a route my vehicle can handle? Is it the safest? Will I like the view? What shape will I be in when I get there? The journey is as important as the destination so I'm doing my research along the way and trying to figure out what is the safest and most effective route. Each new check point has more and more information and resources so I have a lot of reading to do! Next week I might share some of it with y'all if you want. =) But in the meantime, congrats to all of those that finished the squat challenge!! And good luck to everyone on your next fitness endeavor! 

Will Squat for Shorts

Halfway through the squat challenge!! I did 140 squats today! If you're interested you can click here to see how I did them(and the rest of my work outs!). =D I'm feeling great. My legs are getting STRONG. Like, When I touch my thighs they are hard even when I'm not flexing. It's a really strange feeling.

You know what else is a strange feeling? Realizing that when you're standing up, sucking in doesn't really do anything. Like, the middle part of my stomach tightened up and came in a bit, but it didn't really do much. And when I actually thought about it, I couldn't remember the last time I had sucked in. Of course I also can't remember the last time I wasn't considered "obese" or "morbidly obese" by any method of measurement. Now I think by my body fat I'm a lot closer to just being "overweight" but there's lots of different definitions out there. All I know is I'm THISCLOSE to being in a size 14 which I don't remember ever wearing in the last decade of my life so I'm pretty sinking excited. Although with all these squats my quads won't be able to fit but I guess that's what shorts are for!

I've never been excited to wear shorts in my life. Like, fat girls DREAD short season. Thighs are jiggly, knees are ugly, and everything is pale because you never let anyone see them if you can help it, even Mother Nature. Now I have this pair I got from Old Navy that I'm excited to put on every time. Not the hottest legs ever, but probably my best looking legs since like freshman year of high school. haha OH! Will and I took new bluebonnet pictures! I dunno if I mentioned this last week. Here are a few that show off my progress.

 [Sorry for how gag-worthy these are, we really can't help it sometimes...]

So yay! These were a few weekends ago now but these are my new favorite shorts which I am un-apologetically wearing all the time because a) I don't want to buy another pair because b) I hopefully will need a smaller size in a few weeks. A really, really good problem to have. These are the shortest non-athletic shorts I've worn in a WHILE so yay for better legs and confidence! =) Who's still with me on the squat challenge? I have a before picture that I will post once I have an after picture to go with it. And then y'all can see how defined my knees are getting and you'll want to do it, too! ;) I'm already making a list of goals for June. Joining Fitocracy has given me so many resources and ideas for my workouts and how and why and WHAT to do in the gym. If you need advice or ideas or motivation I would definitely recommend it! =) Click on my link and go and join and friend me and you can see in detail how I'm kicking my own butt into short-shape. 

The Fitness Bug and Squat Butt

Guys, I feel like I need to re-write the lyrics to Usher's "You got it bad" or something. I've been reading and doing and loving so much stuff lately. Today was the first day of the 30-day squat challenge and I banged out those 50 pretty easy.

Easy-peasy...until next week. lol

I have to say thanks to Leah for turning me on to the squat challenge, and thanks to Lauren for introducing me to Fitocracy. My facebook news feed(when I get past posts about engagements, weddings, husbands and babies) is full of people being healthy! I have so many friends doing good things and I am so proud of all of you!! Lauren, Leah, Caitlin V, Sue, Linda, Anne Marie, PJ, Kayli, Rebecca and everyone else posting about exercise and goals and success, y'all are awesome! Keep it up, don't take your eyes off the prize! And don't forget to leave a comment if you're doing the challenge with me/us!

Today was such a great day at the gym. Finding this new community to connect to on Fitocracy which is so supportive of the workout aspect has been a breath of fresh air. I love MFP for the accountability and I'm definitely still using that, but the weight training is in its own section and doesn't log calories so it just makes your journal look cluttered because each set is its own line. It's more of just a note to keep track of the weight for your own benefit. On Fitocracy its centered on the WORK you're putting in and the people are already so supportive! Part of it is that the site automatically puts you in groups when you list your interests. So it put me in some groups like "Lady Lifters" and "No Barbie Weights Here" lol. It is really nice to see other women doing weights WAY heavier than I am and being way smaller than I am and know that if I keep going in the direction I'm going I can get there. It's been over a week and a half since I lifted anything and I didn't realize how much I missed it!

After reading so much and being so inspired I'm pretty much going to do the opposite of what I was planning. I was going to cool it on the heavy weights and focus more on a medium weight with more reps. I think I'm going to just train harder but focus more on free weights. I'm still kind of uncomfortable in the testosterone fest that is the free weight corner but if I can just get over it and act like I belong there maybe I can prove that I do. My main problem is that about half of the guys aren't there to train, they are there to show off or help their friend show off. I was trying to go grab some dumbbells and this guy was perched on the rack right over the 5 pound weights watching his friend do something fancy on one of those half-ball platform things. Now, I wasn't going to use the 5 pound weights, but anyone who did would certainly be intimidated by this jerkface. I did have to get close enough to him that he noticed he might POSSIBLY be in the way and got up and apologized unconvincingly. I think I chose to ignore him because I had my headphones on. As does anyone who is actually doing work(have you heard the music in the gym?). Anyway, the point is- it is hard to carve yourself a place in that corner of the gym if you don't have a Y chromosome. Not because it's difficult to lift, because that is implied and that's why you do it, but because if it is the least bit crowded it is almost impossible to avoid douchebags who are trying to prove their own worth in the most obnoxious and obvious way possible. I am more impressed by the guy silently slamming out 15 reps of his own weight on bench press than the guys taking up a squat rack alternating sets of 8 not-squats every 5 minutes with much to-do and grunting.

I'm sorry, I know I complain about these various and sundry asshats every few posts after I've had to encounter them but it is really coming to be my pet peeve. It's so distracting! Will tells me to ignore them, and I'm getting better at it, but I don't turn my music loud enough to drown everything out because my ears are too sensitive for that and I actually make myself aware of the people around me in case they get too close to me or something becomes unsafe. All that aside, I added 10 pounds to my deadlift and did 5 sets of overhead dumb bell presses in preparation for eventually doing a barbell overhead press which is apparently a big deal in the fitness world. haha I also added 5 pounds to the seated dip machine, bringing me to 56% of my body weight. Yay!

That is also because I'm continuing to lose weight[fat]: I did my bf% today and I'm down 3.2% from the end of March!! Basically this tells me that although the scale says I've lost 10 pounds in 5 weeks I've actually lost 11.3 pounds of fat! This is why you can't go on the scale alone, guys and gals. Your weight is only PART of the equation! So even though my thighs continue to stay solidly at a size 16 even if my waist is closer to a 14, I will do my squats for the rest of this month and forever. Though I think I will only do my lifting squats on actual leg days. I know I'm not gonna get huge or anything[despite every female's instinct] but It's still a concern that my thighs and not my waist will keep me from sizing down in pants. But if that's the price I have to pay for a toned lower half that looks better and better every week in shorts, than I'll have to be okay with that. 

Fat Marissa comes out to play, but Skinny Marissa is here to stay!

So I let fat Marissa come out to play Saturday at a drunken wedding and I didn't lock her back up until Monday afternoon. haha. Seriously though taking 3 days in a row off working out and letting myself eat whatever I wanted resulted in gaining like 4 pounds! So, small step back but it's good to know how quickly I can undo so much of my hard work. Also, I don't think I've mentioned that I have gallstones.

So, for roughly the last year I've been having bouts of nausea and back pain after eating super fatty foods, especially dairy fat. I found out it was gallstones last summer but the attacks are so infrequent I don't want to do surgery. Anyway, I've pretty much cut dairy fat out of my diet as much as possible. I'm lactose-intolerant anyway so it wasn't THAT hard. Especially when I know that eating queso might result in hours of agony. So  every 3 weeks we have a patient that comes in and brings donuts. Fat Marissa was ALMOST back in her cage but she slipped back out for a 2nd donut, which resulted in me getting sick halfway through choir practice and laying in bed for hours. So, yeah. Don't get gallstones. It sucks.

Even with the residual soreness, I got back on it hard last night with Zumba and then gave myself a mini spin class. I haven't been able to make it to spin in a couple weeks and the gyms have gotten new bikes so I went and played on one for a while. It was great! The new bikes count your calories burned and how fast you're peddling and how far you've gone, so cool! The sauna at the gym has been messed up lately so the heat I've come to savor after a hard workout was about 60 degrees less[a mere 120, lol] than it usually is and I was sad. Something about that intense heat relaxing all those muscles you just punished is really relaxing once you get used to it. If you're doing hard work outs and your gym has a sauna, I definitely recommend trying it. Though as accounted by my post roughly a year ago, saunas can get awkward fairly quickly. Now I walk in empty-handed in my socks and If i'm by myself I take off my shirt and lay on top of it, which is also apparently socially acceptable. I also like to use my exercise towel to cover my face. Serves dual purpose of  being able to ignore everyone else, and protecting my lungs from the super-hot air.

Anywho, I promised y'all pictures and pictures you shall have. Again, this is what I've pretty much established as my "before" picture:

April 2010

And this is my April 2013 picture:

April 2013

Sorority pose in full effect, y'all. It's pretty much permanent and I can't really help it. haha Fairly certain 2 of those grapefruits came from my chin. =) I was back on campus and tried taking a picture in that exact spot from 3 years ago, but everything has grown so much and it was muddy and I didn't want to make Will get his dress shoes dirty sooo yeah that was a fail. haha. Maybe I'll try again later, I'm sure I'll be back on campus for another wedding eventually.

This is a really random post but I guess that's what I get for skipping a week and getting sick and having lots to say. I apologize! I might actually do another post Friday because I want to talk about how I'm going to make changes to my current workout routine. Not Zumba or Yoga though, because I'm still loving those. Did Yoga again today and was shocked to be in the top performing half of the class. We had a lot of beginners[like i'm not?] and this one girl was totally unaware of her body and what "straight line" meant. The instructor was trying to help her so she didn't hurt herself but then she gave up when she realized that it was a lost short-term cause. It was gonna take a personal training session in a mirrored box to get her aware of what she was doing.

There was also a fairly obese woman that came in late and only participated in about half the class. I was impressed with the instructor and how she gave her personal attention[without disrupting class] and had her just do some ab work when we were doing stuff that she wasn't flexible enough to do. She just watched a good bit of what we were doing and I talked to her after class and she said she'd be back next week and I assured her I would as well. My Zumba friend that I've been missing was back last night, too! She'd been gone for like a month and she said she was in a car accident! I'm glad she's back and feeling better. We were both moving slowly last night because she was still recovering from that and I was still recovering from my gallbladder attack. I like making friends at the gym, even though Will thinks I talk too much. =) I think if you're gonna be doing the same class with people every week for the foreseeable future you should at least get on a smile-and-wave basis with them. haha

Thanks for reading, guys! Sorry about slacking last week, I will definitely post Friday about my upcoming slim-down regimen change. haha

Everybody Loves a Top 10 List!

aka the NSV post inspired by a huge victory on the scale. haha.

First, I just have to do this. So here is a different picture of the fat vs muscle density difference.

Grapefruits and Tangerines

So here is the representation of my 50+ pound victory so far.

50 lbs of fat = space of 30 grapefruits

I've lost over 30 grapefruits worth of fat. lol. That's pretty awesome. At my next big mark I'll go fill a basket with grapefruit or something. lol I dunno if Walmart would appreciate that.

SO, here are the Top 10 Non-Scale Victories associated with my big scale victory

10. Having officially completed two 5Ks and actually WANTING to run more.

9. Feeling full without finishing a meal. It's amazing how much your stomach shrinks when it doesn't have all those grapefruits up there encouraging it. haha

8. Doing a mile on the elliptical in 7:08. I have essentially cut my mile in HALF[not in real life, unfortunately] on the elliptical from where I started.

7. Being down 4 sizes from where I was. Size 24 pant to size 16. Almost able to shop at ITG stores!

6. Leg pressing more than I weigh and doing more than half my weight on the seated dip. How soon is too soon to strap myself into that thing? lol

5. My boyfriend's jackets being too big on me. I dunno about the rest of you fat girls, but I always wanted to be that girl wearing my boyfriends too-big letter jacket. Goal achieved.

4. Being able to touch my elbows to my knees when doing bicycle crunches. You have no idea how much this always bothered and shamed me before and now I have to be careful not to bruise my legs with my elbows.

3. Talking to women at the gym after classes and seeing their faces when I mention how much I've lost.

2. Being able to do compound abs! Such a huge victory for me!! Oh, and being able to hold a plank for over a minute! Big time, y'all.

1. Going to the doctor and hearing nothing but "You look great!", "Wow!", "I am SO proud of you." and "Keep it up!"

I still have a long way to go but I am one HUGE step closer to being where I want to be! Thanks to EVERYONE for all the love, support and endless encouragement! I also feel the need to "shout out" to Kacee aka Butterbean4283 for keeping me accountable on MFP and achieving her own 50lb weight loss! Yay! Guys, this is possible! I'm not the only one doing it and YOU can do it, too! I honestly have the "If I can do it, anyone can!" attitude about this. You just have to find your motivation. 

The numbers are IN!

Got my measurements done today! I think I've successfully punched through that plateau. OVERALL I've lost 38 inches from my first measurements in October of 2011, which was roughly a year after I started losing weight. I really wish I had measured myself at my worst so I would know how far I've come. From my measurements since I started this blog, I've lost 6 inches total. They turned out about how I thought they would, which is good and bad. I've shrunk a lot in my torso, but my extremities are all the same, except for my calves which are actually bigger. But lets be honest, I'm not too upset that my soccer legs are reshaping themselves.

Because that's the thing, my legs and arms are obviously more muscular than last time, but for the most part they're almost exactly the same size. BUT they are, for once, symmetrical. Isn't that a thing, that people think you're more beautiful when you're more symmetrical? Well, sad news for that, 80% of people have one side of their bodies longer than the other. haha. When I first started only my calves were the same, my biceps and thighs were an inch different. Soo yeah. If we ignore the inches from my neck/arms/legs...

Negative inches from 01/2012
Chest: 1.5"
Shoulders: 0.5"
Waist: 1.5"
Hips: 2.75"
Total from torso: -6.25"

Most of this is back fat. Like really, my boobs are still the same size they were but I have less fat on my back. Also, I think it is safe to say I have literally danced my ass off with Zumba. The squats I'm doing make my glutes bigger and Zumba shakes all the fat off. I was telling Nichole that it's really frustrating when my waist and hips shrink faster than my thighs because then it's really hard to find pants that fit right. I'm 6/6.5" smaller in my waist/hips than in 2011. That's half a foot! So crazy.

So, hopefully by next week I will have met my goal and be officially 50, yes FIFTY, pounds down from the very start. I have a special post planned for that milestone so get excited! =) Thank you again, everyone, for all of your support! It means a lot and keeps me going when times get rough! And now so does this picture, which I will leave you with, that my friend Holly posted.

Plateaus and Legs

Y'all, these last few weeks have been ROUGH! I've been working hard, eating pretty well, under my calorie goals and I hadn't seen any real change on the scale. I went to a "fat-burning bootcamp" last Saturday and I weighed like 3 pounds more the next morning. Even if you're telling yourself "Muscle weighs more than fat" and even if your boyfriend is telling you [unsolicited] that your thighs, arms and waist are looking smaller; a girl can't help but plead with the scale to cooperate and get on board with everything else!

So last night Will had lots of homework, and I was exhausted from a long day so we ended up not going to the gym. And, to make the night even more guilt-ridden, we had fried chicken for dinner(which I haven't had in months). I was under my calories but over in fat, saturated fat and sodium. To make it even more lazy-feeling I slept in this morning. So I stepped on the scale this morning thinking that it would be the same numbers I've been looking at for the last 2 weeks. To my surprise I had lost almost 3 pounds! So, as of today I have lost 46 pounds from my start. I'm hoping that means my body is going to get back on track. I was pretty consistently losing 2 lbs a week for a while so I want to get back to that. I know your body will do everything on its own time but gosh it's annoying!

In other news, today was a leg day. I stopped doing the hip abductor/adductor machine a couple weeks ago and started doing plie squats with a dumbbell and some pilates moves for thighs. I also started doing full squats, because apparently Will and I weren't doing them exactly right. You're supposed to go all the way down where your thighs are parallel to the floor, but I wasn't doing it that far down before. At first I had lowered my weight but now it's back up to higher than it was before. So I started doing them free-weight on the 45lb bar and it's not as hard as I thought it would be.

Have I every told y'all how freaked out I was when I started doing squats? I had to start at a really low weight(like 60lbs lol) and work my way up. It wasn't that I couldn't do more weight physically but mentally I had to get over it. I really don't like things touching my neck, and I guess it's just the really constricted feeling of literally having all that weight on your shoulders. Like one wrong move and you're going to crush something or decapitate yourself. I mean, it's not gonna happen but in my mind I was one wrong move away from a horrific death. Lol. But I'm over that now and squatting like a champ-in-training. =) Today I upped it to 115 lbs after my first set at 105. I'm still doing leg presses at 180 but last week I did 5 x 10 so this week I did 4 x 12.

My normal routine used to be 3 sets of 15 reps for everything but I started trying to do higher weights at 5 x 10. This may have something to do with my "plateau"? I'm probably gaining muscle faster than I'm losing fat. I'm pretty sure I've talked about the muscle/fat relationship before but I really need everyone to see this picture again even if you've seen it before.

This is what you're working towards. Getting rid of that gross looking bumpy fat and trying to get more of that lean pretty looking muscle. So if you're working hard and getting on the scale and seeing that the numbers are staying the same, then that's okay. You just have to reprogram your[most likely female] brain to focus on your other successes: adding more weight on a challenging machine/exercise, being able to run longer or faster, or having more room in your clothes. All those "NSV". You HAVE TO stay positive, focused and motivated; because on this journey, it's a lot easier to give up then it is to stick with it. 

Say what? A Glossary.

Hey everyone! Sorry my Wednesday post is...2 days late...oops. Anyway! I am officially 43 pounds down from my starting point, which is about 2.5 years ago. I feel obligated to note that I was also down this much at this point last year, but this summer I will NOT go backwards. Hopefully I will FINALLY get some measurements done and I can see how much I've shrunk. I know for sure my butt is smaller than it was last year. I think it's all the Zumba. =)

This week I wanted to do a glossary of sorts. I was watching a bunch of nutrition/fitness videos and I felt like I was telling Will to pause it and explain things to me every other video. So, here are 5 terms I've run across in the videos, on MFP, or requests from my facebook friends. =)

Burpees: also called "squat-thrusts"
A favorite of personal trainers, this exercise is used as a combination of strength and aerobic endurance training. [The only time I've ever actually had to do these was the last boot-camp at my gym.] It's made up of 4 movements. First, from a standing position you squat down. Second, you put your hands on the ground in front of you and extend your legs out behind you like you're about to do a push up. Third, you return to the squat position. Fourth, you stand up. Now, Wikipedia has a disgustingly long list of all the ways you can make this already challenging move even harder. This is a good [concise] video I found on the correct form for a burpee.

DOMS: Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness
Yes, that irritating to debilitating soreness you get a day or two after working out has a name, and it is DOMS. I found a really great video about it here. Basically he's saying that it is a good and a bad sign. Good because you know you worked the muscle, in case you were in doubt. Bad because it means your muscles are not efficient. Just because your muscles are sore doesn't mean it was a good workout. Also, you can have muscles that aren't sore and still have worked them properly. A good example is that I used to get soreness to my abs after most of my workouts, but now I don't. I'm still doing the same moves with the same correct form, so I KNOW that I'm targeting those muscles and they're being worked. That's not to say I'm doing the same workout, because I've upped my reps and added weights in to some of my previously weightless ab stuff. If you're interested I would definitely watch the video I linked to above.

HIIT: High Intensity Interval Training
One of my friends told me about this so I had to do some quick research on it. There are SO many articles, I want to read them all! Basically, it is what it sounds like. HIIT alternates bouts of high-intensity exercise with a moderate-intensity exercise. Studies apparently show that it does as much fat burning in a shorter amount of time than steady-state exercising so it is optimal for 10-30 minute work outs. It has just come into focus in the past few years or so, from what I can tell. I think this concept will sound familiar to anyone that has done the C25K(couch to 5k) program. Or any of those "shreds" from what it sounds like.

Hypertrophy: referring to Muscular Hypertrophy
This is defined as the increase in size of the skeletal muscle due to the increase in size of the component cells. Simple enough. I believe I heard this word mentioned in the video on DOMS that I linked to and knew it sounded familiar but couldn't remember what it meant. This is basically the goal of anyone doing weight-training. There is tons of stuff out there on how to best achieve this so I'm not going to pretend I know. haha. Although I think the consensus is it takes lifting weights and eating enough protein.

NSV: Non-Scale Victory [Turns out there are a LOT of things this stands for. lol]
Saw this on MyFitnessPal when someone was talking about their pants being too big. This is a strange term to me because I find that depending on your scales for victories isn't a very dependable way to be reinforced. Yes, you will lose weight if you are burning more calories than you consume, but it doesn't always happen when you want it to or when you think it will. I think if you're going to stay positive about losing weight and stick with it, the majority of your victories should be NSV.

Speaking of, I've had several lately; which is good because the scale and I are at a stalemate once again. Lots of little things that Will has said and I've noticed about the way my face and body are looking. Soon I might get far enough away from some pictures I took about a year and a half ago to actually post them. I say this because it requires taking after pictures in my sports bra fit for me to actually post online and know that people will be seeing it. lol I'm almost there! =)

Pizza and Cheesecake? Si Se Puede!

I was bad today and didn't work out. =( BUT I went to Zumba yesterday and I'm going to hit leg day hard tomorrow so I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. I promised y'all recipes today so here we go!

First and easiest is a tortilla pizza. Pretty simple and depending on your ingredients you can cater it to the level of healthy you want. I like the "carb balance" tortillas, they are only 80 calories a piece and high in fiber, which makes you feel more full. Put your oven on 350 and lightly brush one side of the tortillas with olive oil and add any garlic salt or seasonings you want. Put them in for 7-9 minutes depending on how crispy you want them. Pull them out and add your toppings. I used the no sugar added ragu(next time you make pasta, save a little bit of the sauce for pizza the next day or two), boneless skinless chicken breast shreds, one slice of bacon per pizza and reduced fat cheddar. Put those in the oven another 4-6 minutes depending on how many toppings you used. One of my pizzas was 256.7 calories, 15g fat 6g saturated fat and 18.8g protein! The carb balance tortillas are the small ones so I usually eat 2 of them. So for one meal it's just over 500 calories with 30g fat and 37g protein. Not stellar, but definitely better than the rough equivalent of eating 4 slices of chicken bacon pizza from papa johns- 1400 calories, 48g of fat and 20g saturated fat. 60g of protein but look at the cost! So yes, this is a good option if you like pizza but don't want to blow your whole day's worth of calories.

The next one is a new find that I have tried twice. Will found it on a body building forum. I've altered the recipe to fit a 9inch cake pan, because I wasn't going to buy the 6 inch pan that the OP used and I thought it was silly to use ALMOST all the cream cheese but not all of it.


16oz - Fat Free Philadelphia Cream Cheese(2 8oz packages)
13oz - F age 0% Fat Free Greek Yogurt
2/3 Cup egg substitute
1 Cup - Granulated Splenda
1/3 Cup - 1% Milk
1 1/2 Scoop - Trutein Vanilla Protein
1 1/2 tsp - Vanilla Extract
1/4 tsp - Kosher salt

Directions: All ingredients at room temperature.

1. Preheat Oven to 325 - Prepare 9" cake pan with non-stick spray and parchment paper in the bottom.
2. Cream Cheese in bowl - mix on medium until creamy
3. Add splenda - mix on medium until incorporated
4. Add eggs one at a time while on medium.
5. Add the rest of the ingredients - mix on medium for 3 minutes.
6. Pour in pan
7. Bake at 325 for 30 minutes. Turn oven to 200 for 50min - 1 hour. Remove and let cool on the counter. Wrap and refrigerate overnight.

So, I never measured my vanilla or salt...or refrigerated overnight...haha. The original recipe called for eggs but we only had egg substitute which worked out because I had to increase the recipe by a fraction. Now, you can probably omit the protein and this would still be a fabulous cheesecake recipe but it won't have the flavor so if you take the protein out make sure to add something to make it tasty. In the cheesecake that's sitting in Will's fridge we used his "chocolate dipped strawberry" trutein and 4 tablespoons of chocolate PB2. It is SO GOOD! Stats for with the PB2(powdered peanut butter) are for 1/8 of the cheesecake: 133 calories, 0.5g fat and 20.3g protein. The first time I followed this recipe except we used Cinnabun Trutein(which is the bodybuilders choice brand of protein, apparently) 122 calories, 0.2g fat and 19.6g protein. Sooo last night Will and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary at the cheesecake factory and we split a piece of cheesecake. My stats on HALF of a slice? 464 calories, 19.5g fat and it doesn't have the protein for it. So yeah, this is a HUGE improvement, even disregarding the protein. This thread on the protein cheesecake had 51 pages of comments and suggestions on things you could do and pictures of all the cheesecakes people had made. Of course you can add a crust to it and you omit the parchment paper, but it's pretty tasty and I didn't even miss the crust.

So, a low maintenance recipe and a high maintenance one. haha. Hope y'all enjoy those, let me know in the comments if you make them! =) And just so y'all know, I'm still on track with my 2 lbs a week and am down 16 lbs from the beginning of the year and 38 lbs from my starting point! I'm gonna try to get someone to do my measurements soon so I can see exactly where I am. I am feeling stronger than I ever have and am confident that I've lost more fat than the scale shows. I'm starting to be able to see definite fat loss in my calves and to some extent my arms. Progress!

Confessions of a Reformed Food-a-holic

Hey guys! So I have lots of different things I could talk about but I never really know what would be the most helpful, and it's been recommended that I do another food post since it's been about a while since I talked about my struggles with food.

As I've said in past posts, the biggest thing about your attitude towards food is to be realistic and honest while being disciplined. I am realistically always going to want something chocolate. BUT I never need anything fattening. So I have to find smart substitutes and make sure I have them or can make them. Simply getting rid of everything sweet in your house isn't gonna cut it because if you're going to crave something sweet, when you actually get your hands on it you're doing to undo a lot of hard work. Or you're going to raid your pantry and end up putting cocoa mix on your boring healthy cereal or something. [I haven't done that but I was just thinking about things that I could do with whats in my pantry.] This actually happened to me tonight after dinner. After a really good spin class(-724 calories) I came home and ate a really good dinner (Grilled chicken, green beans and whole wheat penne with low fat cheese: 406 calories) and then just really wanted something sweet. This will happen to you especially after work outs, don't give in! Your body is craving food and calories to replenish what you just spent- give it good stuff! So I did actually raid the pantry and came out with some blueberries and cream oatmeal(260 calories).

Not the best thing, but better than the cookies I could've made from the fundraising cookie dough in the freezer and the crunchy peanut butter that was on the counter. This is another good point for all of you looking at eating better: don't be tricked into thinking peanut butter is ok, or even good for you, it's not! I actually let myself have a tablespoon of it- 100 calories and 8 grams of fat! FOR A TABLESPOON! I shudder when I think of all the crunchy peanut butter sandwiches that fat Marissa made with extra pb. To this day I love peanut butter, but I rarely have it anymore. I use the powdered peanut butter in my baking and protein shakes and it's a lot healthier but creamy peanut butter is so unsatisfying to me it's not even worth it most of the time. That is something I've just had to get over. My fat crunchy peanut butter sandwich days ended years ago and I'm a smaller, healthier person because of it.

So yes, KNOW YOURSELF. If you have a sweet tooth, get things that are sweet but healthy (or at least have some redeeming qualities) to snack on. I've mentioned fruit, especially apples, before but my latest discovery is dark chocolate oven roasted almonds. They're not actually like coated in chocolate candy, it's like they were dipped in cocoa powder and then roasted. The best part is a serving size is 24 nuts, which is a pretty decent sized handful, for 160 calories and 5 grams of protein. You get to feel like you're eating a good amount, they're sweet and crunchy(which is always more satisfying to me for some reason). And almonds are one of those foods that health nuts(pardon the pun) are all about. "Power foods" or whatever they want to call them. Whatever, they're awesome. I definitely recommend almonds for snacking purposes, but make sure you look at the serving size and make sure they're not adding a bunch of crap to the seasoning and coating.

When I'm shopping for snacks or food, my eye goes straight to the calories. The second place it goes is the serving size/amount per container. Is this an acceptable amount of calories for this serving size? This is where people get tripped up. You see a small bag of chips, you look at the calories and you think "Oh that's not that bad..." but if you check it's sometimes 2-3 servings per container, not that anyone actually eats only 1/3 of a small-ish bag of chips. Well, maybe chronically skinny people do, I dunno. The point is, not only to check the calories, but to check the serving size. If you are debating getting a snack and you don't think you could limit yourself to only 2 cookies or 7 crackers or whatever, DON'T GET IT! Because then you'll be putting in 3 servings in your calorie counter and be crying that you ever bought a supposedly healthier something. One thing that I really like is these huge bag of veggie straws that we get from Sams. They have on the bag "sensible portions" and you think oh? really? But a "serving" of veggie straws(they look like colored straws and taste like baked salt) is 38 straws, which is a normal sized serving for someone who likes food. You know when you make yourself a sandwich and you get a modest handful of chips to put on your plate and it's just not enough so you get another handful? Yeah, that's about 38 straws. 130 calories, 7 grams of fat. Want some ruffles? 12 measly chips will cost you 160 calories and 10g of fat.

For all of you who like food- It's gonna be ok. You don't have to give up eating! You might have to give up eating specific things that you like as often as you want. I'm not saying you're never gonna be able to have ice cream again, just saying that you might have to limit it to once a month, or change which kind you have. You can get a whole cup(2 servings) of the no sugar added dutch chocolate blue bell (which is still pretty delicious) for 180 calories and 6 grams of fat. This is definitely a better option than the cup(again, "2" servings) of cookies and cream blue bell that is 360 calories and 18 grams of fat. It's all about giving yourself options and not beating yourself up too much. If you just burned hundreds of calories doing a killer work out and you'll still be well under your calorie goal if you have 180 calories of ice cream then tell yourself IT'S OKAY! Here's the way I look at it: Will you get skinnier faster if you don't eat the ice cream? Well, yes. Will you potentially devour a hot fudge sundae from Braums (580 calories and 30 grams of fat) if you don't let yourself eat something sweet and feel completely bummed and crappy about it if you DON'T? Potentially. ...lol Anyone who has ever loved food knows what I'm talking about here. Giving yourself small substituted-for-much-worse treats when you've earned them is going to do you a lot better than trying(and failing) to give up things completely. Because we've all got an inner fat kid we have to keep satisfied somehow.

Gooooooooooooool [The goal-setting post]

So this post is brought to you by: Progress! When I was using my calorie counter app, It informed me that if every day were like Friday and Saturday, I could lose 22 pounds in 5 weeks. Now, this is about 4.5 pounds a week, which is INCREDIBLE. In all senses of the word, because I didn't really believe it. SO, I apologize in advance if this gets tedious, but y'all stick with me because I think a lot of us need to think about things a little differently.

I'm gonna come out and say it: I want to lose another 100 pounds. This may sound crazy to you skinny people, but all of you fluffy kids out there can imagine where I'm coming from. I'm currently down 30-32 pounds from my "start" weight, which took me 16 months to lose and a year to keep off. I lost my focus and this summer I un-did a big chunk of my hard weight loss. I managed not to undo my muscle gain, which is an important distinction. So weight-wise I'm essentially where I was at this point last year, but I've got my best work out buddy back and we're both focused and ready to keep working.The thing I've got going for me that I didn't last year is that I've felt what 10 more pounds lighter feels like. I know that with just another couple months at this pace I could potentially be down to shopping consistently in regular stores by this summer. Last year that was my goal and I missed it because of lots of things going on with work and family and my boyfriend coming home. But this year I am more focused and determined than I have ever been. And I have a plan, a clear laid out set of goals. If I can stay on this track I'm on, I'll show you what I am capable of.

So here goes the micro-goal setting and meeting that you have to do within the bigger picture to stay on track. I have lost around 10-12 pounds in 5-6 weeks, that is just at my 2 pounds a week which is my goal on the calorie counter. Now the way I went hard this week puts me at 4.5 pounds a week. So let's be realistic and say that If I continue to work hard and eat well, I could potentially lose 15 pounds every 6 weeks, about 2.5 pounds a week. When you break it down into bite-sized pieces, it becomes a lot more conceivable. "I need to lose 100 pounds" well...yeah...but when you say it like that it sounds IMPOSSIBLE. But if I lose 15 pounds every 6 weeks for the rest of the year, I will have lost 115 pounds by 2014. I could even think that if I stayed on pace I wouldn't even have to lose weight during the holidays I would just have to maintain that last 6 weeks of the year. Happy Holidays! You've transformed yourself and now you can take pictures for Christmas cards to re-introduce yourself to all your friends! lol. Did that idea just cross my mind? It absolutely did.

Now, I know as I lose fat the weight will not be quite so "easy" to sluff off. I know this. I know it's going to be hard, even excruciating, the closer I get. But when I lay it out in such clear terms "Marissa, all you have to do is be under your calorie goal and keep working out and eating lean protein" it makes it a lot less stressful. I have to constantly be thinking about why I'm doing this. It's not just to be able to shop at H&M or eventually buy a wedding dress with only 1 digit in the size. It's so that 20, 30, 40 years down the road I won't be worried about checking my blood sugar every day or injecting myself with insulin. About getting out of breath playing with my kids and grandkids. Worried about what the possible side effects of this medication or that medication are, or how they interact, or how much my prescriptions are a month.You have to do what you can with the cards that you're dealt in life. My genetic deck isn't so hot but my cards can for the most part be trumped by diet and exercise. With a low BMI and a healthy diet, science suggests that I can keep everything I'm at increased risk for at a good distance. But you know what else you can keep with a low BMI and a healthy diet? Single-digit-sized clothing. And that's pretty encouraging, too. 

Scale say whaat?

Hey guys! I am happy to report that I worked out Friday morning at the hotel. Haha =) the weather has been BEAUTIFUL lately. =) so Sunday instead of going to the gym I did like 2-3 hrs of yard work. Mostly weeding and sawing. My hamstrings are STILL a little sore. And they will be tomorrow, too, because I went to spin class this morning bc I finally had the day off. =) well, I did get to work out yesterday before work, and there's an interesting story there.

So yesterday when I went to the gym, it was peak morning time (which I HATE) so I couldn't get on the row of ellipticals that I usually do. So I get on one of the other ones that has completely different programs and I fool with it trying to find one like the one I usually use (calorie burner). I finally found something inferior but similar to what I'm used to doing, picked a random level and took off. Well it was a lower resistance level than I'm used to because I ran a mile in 10:30 which I'm fairly certain I have never done in my LIFE. I was looking at this display telling me I was running 6 mph and thinking "I think this means I should up the resistance...but I don't want to..." lol after I finished the mile I upped it and found my much more familiar 5 mph pace but I was really excited for myself. Haha.

So one of the things about getting in shape is that you have to constantly play mind games with yourself. Well, at least I do, but maybe I'm crazy. Or maybe it's because I'm a girl. But those are mostly the same, let's be honest. Haha. Anyway, today before spin, we re-did my measurements. I was pretty excited bc even though outwardly there wasn't a whole lot of difference from a month ago, my muscles were slightly more prominent, especially in my legs, so i knew my bf%(how much of my fatness is actually fat) had to be lower. So Carlos is measuring me and all of them are coming out larger and I'm starting to FREAK. OUT. Like I told y'all, I had actually gained weight the last couple of weeks but then I started losing it again so that usually indicates increase in muscle. I wasn't TOO concerned. Today I was +1 pound but then I started being +1...2..4 inches. And the self doubt and internal argument and freaking out began. "wtf is happening?!" "calm down crazy, it's muscle" "but my neck is bigger!! Why is my neck bigger?!" "I dunno, why is it?" "omg I'm such a fat failure!!" etcetcetc. Lol. Don't worry, I didn't have a meltdown in the gym. Very male Carlos saved the body fat % to last so my very female brain was stopped just short of that meltdown.

The good news is that I'm actually down 6 lbs in fat (finally under the triple digit mark, actually) and up 7 lbs in muscle. Soooo that means I'm 19 lbs lighter than I was in October, but I've lost 25 lbs of fat since then. =) I wish I had my starting fat % from a year and a half ago. It's probably close to like 50%. I feel so much stronger than that point. And I'm aiming for 18% body fat, FYI, which is considered healthy. Carlos said I should be ultimately aiming for 12% "lean toned". Lol. we'll see how long it takes me to get to "healthy" before I start thinking about having a movie star body. Right now I'll be happy when this summer I'm down to a large instead of a 2x.

So that's where I am right now. Today's been pretty good. I came home and scrambled some eggs in some semblance of a huevos-rancheros-turkey-omelette-bowl thing. Whatever. It tasted good and it was protein packed. I felt like actually eating my protein instead of drinking it. Haha. Although I did get some protein samples I'm excited to try in a care package from one of my pledge sisters. =D I've decided it's my first official piece of "fan mail". Lol. The main thing I wanted to cover in this post was that it may look on the scale like a plateau, and maybe in your clothes, but if it's muscle gain at the same time as fat loss, it will not FEEL like a plateau. My resting heart rate is down, my endurance is up, and I'm stronger than I was. Who cares what the scale says? (well, I still do...a little)

PS: go google image "5 lbs of fat". Right now.