Bros in Yoga and ITGs in Bikinis

Y'all. I cannot even begin to explain how strange I feel right now. I should be exhausted, and my body is definitely tired, but somehow I still have energy to type this blog. I also feel like I should be proud of myself, but am still feeling a bit inadequate. Today has been loooong but wonderful! I went to TWO classes at 2 different gym locations today. Needless to say I have Wednesdays off of work. haha. I spent the time in between sunbathing by a rooftop pool in Dallas. Every time I have days like this where I'm like "Man I never would've been able to do this 2 years ago, or 1 year ago" it is just a really great feeling.

I had my normal wonderful Yoga class this morning. Well, not so normal, actually... Like a minute or two into class, 2 bros walk in. There are like, 5 women plus the instructor in our class so I was like "oook?". Because these are your average dudes who look more ready to play a pickup game of basketball or stare into a mirror while curling than to walk into a yoga class. Youngish 20s, completely average sized, and you can tell they're determined but nervous. They were on the other side of the room so honestly I didn't get to see them much except when we were doing triangle pose, which they seemed to be performing with the same mix of un-comfort and resolve. They were right behind me on our way out so I asked them if they had fun and they both gave me tired smiles and one of them said "I don't sweat that much when I workout!" and the other one was like "Yeah man that was HARD!" I just told them if they kept doing it they would get stronger and it would get easier. =) So that was funny, it'll be interesting to see if they come back next week.

So, I haven't gone swim suit shopping yet, and I think I'm still gonna put it off as long as I can. My swim suit from last year still fits actually, although if I do too much actual swimming it would be too big. But for a decorative-type function it still works and that's what we did today. I actually let my stomach get some sun! So not only is it flatter, but it is also now less pale! haha. I pulled up the tank-top part while it was just my boyfriend and his best friend. I used to be REALLY insecure around his bestie because every SINGLE one of his female friends is like a "7" or hotter. But now that we're actually friends for real and he's gotten used to the fact that he can have a fat female friend(because seriously, none of them are anywhere remotely close to being overweight) I don't really care anymore. So we left for some food, because all the aforementioned hotties were running late, came back and the 3 intimidatingly thin girls I was anticipating were all there in their bikini best... so needless to stay my stomach didn't get anymore sun. haha. But my shoulders look GREAT! =P Anyway, I could probably say truthfully that this is the least-uncomfortable I've been at the pool with 3 hot girls in bikinis. My first inclination was to just leave on my swim cover and risk a farmers tan, but this was my first real summer sun and gosh darnit, I was gonna get it! So I tried to just act as comfortable as I could even when I still felt completely inadequate next to women who probably wear sizes 0/2-6, and it worked and I got over it[kinda]. It's better than it was last summer when we had pool parties with the same girls because then I did my best to stay in the water or hide behind my towel/cover-up/boyfriend. I still really wanted to, but my hiding days are over, even if it is more emotionally exhausting than I'd like to admit.

So all that fun made me slightly late for my agreed spin date with my friend who is in town. We always spin when she's here but I knew we weren't gonna be there in time to get bikes. We ended up going to 45 minutes of the body sculpt class, which KICKED MY ASS. Like literally, I got a cramp in my right glute from all the squats and lunges we were doing within like 15-20 minutes. That was about 5 minutes after I stopped trying to count the squats to see how many I could log for my squat challenge. I think I can safely say I fulfilled today's 185 squats, even leaving 15 minutes early so I could get to church choir. I think we were both not-so-secretly relieved we had to go because our muscles were screaming. I don't think a 5lb dumbbell has ever felt so heavy. I hope it never does again.

Well other than my adventures from today, I think the only other thing of note is I'm going to have to re-arrange my schedule for the next month-ish due to extra choir rehearsals during my previously-scheduled Zumba time! =( So, I'll have to figure that out...I added Liz, the Zumba instructor on facebook so that I can pester her about her teaching schedule for other classes. haha. I hope I can work something out, I've been Zumba-ing for so long now I don't want to go a month without it!! =( Although now might be the time to try out Jazzercise. I can't remember if I told y'all we had a Zumba instructor and a Jazzercise instructor both come in with plantar fasciitis on the same day! I thought it was kinda funny. Anyway, I accidentally let the Z-word slip in front of the Jazzercise instructor and she told me I should try a class because she lost 125 pounds and has kept it off for 15 years doing Jazzercise. I looked at some of the instructive videos on the site and my knee-jerk reaction was "This looks like some white people sh--..." But I also turned to Will and pointed at the girl doing the video and said "See, I would be completely happy if my body looked exactly like hers" sooo... I dunno. I'm still thinking it over. Have any of y'all done Jazzercise? Let me know in the comments! I will keep y'all updated because I'm sure it will be some kind of adventure if I go, although who knows what kind. =) 

Food Verdict? Not guilty!

I feel like I always have so much stuff to talk about but I don't want to ramble or repeat what I've said recently. So if I do either of those things, sorry!

So- day 8 of the squat challenge was harder than I expected! Today was a rest day, but my legs weren't sore so I almost did squats today anyway! haha. This challenge has been pretty awesome so far. I won't talk a whole lot about it because I'm doing daily updates on my facebook group, but I do feel compelled to say: I did my Monday squats in sets during commercials of watching The Amazing Race. Just saying, you can make excuses(Monday is my day off from the gym due to my schedule) or you can make commitments and get results. Tomorrow we come back strong with 100 squats so yeah, I guess I'll take my rest when it's scheduled.

Speaking of scheduling things- I have an article I want to talk to y'all about. Go read it! I'll wait.

Done? Ok good. So I've never had a scheduled "cheat day" and this article makes me glad I don't. But I think she's onto something when she says that it might be good for you to feel the difference in your body. If I eat too much or greasy food or something that I know I shouldn't, more often than not I have more physical repercussions than mental or emotional. I can't eat a whole restaurant serving of fries anymore. Like, physically and mentally unable. There's still a tiny part of my brain that says "There's still food on your plate, eat it!" But I know that if I finish it I will feel awful, because the last time I did(which was probably several months ago now) I felt so sluggish and bloated and it was the worst feeling ever now that I'm not used to feeling fat all the time anymore. And like she said, you can still celebrate when the occasion calls for it. I ate SO MUCH on Saturday celebrating with my friends and adopted family. But because I stayed away from things I know would make me feel crappy(excessive creamy-saucy pastas, etc) and ate more of the delicious things (like brisket and rice) that wouldn't make me feel crappy, I didn't feel bad in body, mind, or spirit. Yes, I still have some food-guilt- I mean I'm a Mexican Catholic, guilt is the last thing we can get rid of- but not for when occasion calls for it. Part of that is my changing palate and just increased will power. Turns out using those muscles makes them stronger, too.

I actually ate a bacon double steakburger last night from steak and shake. This would probably fall into the "If it fits your Macros[IIFYM]" mentality. This is the mindset that as long as you hit your allotted macros(Protein, carbs, fat, etc)  for the day that it doesn't matter the calories or what you're eating. For example, as long as I don't go over my carbs for the day, I could eat as many Doritos as I can(this is what i'm currently craving, apparently, normally I would say ice cream). I don't usually[read: ever] follow this because it stresses me out, but that cheeseburger fit into my macros and my calories and I burned 1200 calories at the gym so I wasn't going to feel guilty about it(480 calories, which is pretty good for a cheeseburger). This made me happier than yet another grilled chicken sandwich from somewhere. And because I had been good with my lunch and my snacks, even if I hadn't worked so hard I still would've been okay to eat that. Sometimes you just want a cheeseburger.

And on that note, everyone should read this! I think everyone has looked at a girl and thought "Go eat a cheeseburger, please!" ...Well, at least I have...but I have a notoriously low tolerance for ITGs...oops. So this is an article from that girl's point of view and how she changed her life by lifting. I will be a little more forgiving of chronically skinny girls after reading this article. They're probably more of a casualty of society than I am. But as she says, hopefully we have a shift in thinking and "strong will be the new skinny". =) 

The Fitness Bug and Squat Butt

Guys, I feel like I need to re-write the lyrics to Usher's "You got it bad" or something. I've been reading and doing and loving so much stuff lately. Today was the first day of the 30-day squat challenge and I banged out those 50 pretty easy.

Easy-peasy...until next week. lol

I have to say thanks to Leah for turning me on to the squat challenge, and thanks to Lauren for introducing me to Fitocracy. My facebook news feed(when I get past posts about engagements, weddings, husbands and babies) is full of people being healthy! I have so many friends doing good things and I am so proud of all of you!! Lauren, Leah, Caitlin V, Sue, Linda, Anne Marie, PJ, Kayli, Rebecca and everyone else posting about exercise and goals and success, y'all are awesome! Keep it up, don't take your eyes off the prize! And don't forget to leave a comment if you're doing the challenge with me/us!

Today was such a great day at the gym. Finding this new community to connect to on Fitocracy which is so supportive of the workout aspect has been a breath of fresh air. I love MFP for the accountability and I'm definitely still using that, but the weight training is in its own section and doesn't log calories so it just makes your journal look cluttered because each set is its own line. It's more of just a note to keep track of the weight for your own benefit. On Fitocracy its centered on the WORK you're putting in and the people are already so supportive! Part of it is that the site automatically puts you in groups when you list your interests. So it put me in some groups like "Lady Lifters" and "No Barbie Weights Here" lol. It is really nice to see other women doing weights WAY heavier than I am and being way smaller than I am and know that if I keep going in the direction I'm going I can get there. It's been over a week and a half since I lifted anything and I didn't realize how much I missed it!

After reading so much and being so inspired I'm pretty much going to do the opposite of what I was planning. I was going to cool it on the heavy weights and focus more on a medium weight with more reps. I think I'm going to just train harder but focus more on free weights. I'm still kind of uncomfortable in the testosterone fest that is the free weight corner but if I can just get over it and act like I belong there maybe I can prove that I do. My main problem is that about half of the guys aren't there to train, they are there to show off or help their friend show off. I was trying to go grab some dumbbells and this guy was perched on the rack right over the 5 pound weights watching his friend do something fancy on one of those half-ball platform things. Now, I wasn't going to use the 5 pound weights, but anyone who did would certainly be intimidated by this jerkface. I did have to get close enough to him that he noticed he might POSSIBLY be in the way and got up and apologized unconvincingly. I think I chose to ignore him because I had my headphones on. As does anyone who is actually doing work(have you heard the music in the gym?). Anyway, the point is- it is hard to carve yourself a place in that corner of the gym if you don't have a Y chromosome. Not because it's difficult to lift, because that is implied and that's why you do it, but because if it is the least bit crowded it is almost impossible to avoid douchebags who are trying to prove their own worth in the most obnoxious and obvious way possible. I am more impressed by the guy silently slamming out 15 reps of his own weight on bench press than the guys taking up a squat rack alternating sets of 8 not-squats every 5 minutes with much to-do and grunting.

I'm sorry, I know I complain about these various and sundry asshats every few posts after I've had to encounter them but it is really coming to be my pet peeve. It's so distracting! Will tells me to ignore them, and I'm getting better at it, but I don't turn my music loud enough to drown everything out because my ears are too sensitive for that and I actually make myself aware of the people around me in case they get too close to me or something becomes unsafe. All that aside, I added 10 pounds to my deadlift and did 5 sets of overhead dumb bell presses in preparation for eventually doing a barbell overhead press which is apparently a big deal in the fitness world. haha I also added 5 pounds to the seated dip machine, bringing me to 56% of my body weight. Yay!

That is also because I'm continuing to lose weight[fat]: I did my bf% today and I'm down 3.2% from the end of March!! Basically this tells me that although the scale says I've lost 10 pounds in 5 weeks I've actually lost 11.3 pounds of fat! This is why you can't go on the scale alone, guys and gals. Your weight is only PART of the equation! So even though my thighs continue to stay solidly at a size 16 even if my waist is closer to a 14, I will do my squats for the rest of this month and forever. Though I think I will only do my lifting squats on actual leg days. I know I'm not gonna get huge or anything[despite every female's instinct] but It's still a concern that my thighs and not my waist will keep me from sizing down in pants. But if that's the price I have to pay for a toned lower half that looks better and better every week in shorts, than I'll have to be okay with that. 

Everybody Loves a Top 10 List!

aka the NSV post inspired by a huge victory on the scale. haha.

First, I just have to do this. So here is a different picture of the fat vs muscle density difference.

Grapefruits and Tangerines

So here is the representation of my 50+ pound victory so far.

50 lbs of fat = space of 30 grapefruits

I've lost over 30 grapefruits worth of fat. lol. That's pretty awesome. At my next big mark I'll go fill a basket with grapefruit or something. lol I dunno if Walmart would appreciate that.

SO, here are the Top 10 Non-Scale Victories associated with my big scale victory

10. Having officially completed two 5Ks and actually WANTING to run more.

9. Feeling full without finishing a meal. It's amazing how much your stomach shrinks when it doesn't have all those grapefruits up there encouraging it. haha

8. Doing a mile on the elliptical in 7:08. I have essentially cut my mile in HALF[not in real life, unfortunately] on the elliptical from where I started.

7. Being down 4 sizes from where I was. Size 24 pant to size 16. Almost able to shop at ITG stores!

6. Leg pressing more than I weigh and doing more than half my weight on the seated dip. How soon is too soon to strap myself into that thing? lol

5. My boyfriend's jackets being too big on me. I dunno about the rest of you fat girls, but I always wanted to be that girl wearing my boyfriends too-big letter jacket. Goal achieved.

4. Being able to touch my elbows to my knees when doing bicycle crunches. You have no idea how much this always bothered and shamed me before and now I have to be careful not to bruise my legs with my elbows.

3. Talking to women at the gym after classes and seeing their faces when I mention how much I've lost.

2. Being able to do compound abs! Such a huge victory for me!! Oh, and being able to hold a plank for over a minute! Big time, y'all.

1. Going to the doctor and hearing nothing but "You look great!", "Wow!", "I am SO proud of you." and "Keep it up!"

I still have a long way to go but I am one HUGE step closer to being where I want to be! Thanks to EVERYONE for all the love, support and endless encouragement! I also feel the need to "shout out" to Kacee aka Butterbean4283 for keeping me accountable on MFP and achieving her own 50lb weight loss! Yay! Guys, this is possible! I'm not the only one doing it and YOU can do it, too! I honestly have the "If I can do it, anyone can!" attitude about this. You just have to find your motivation. 

Namaste? Que?

Last week on my facebook page I asked about Yoga and got an overwhelming response of people telling me it was great and I definitely needed to try it. Everyone loved it and thought it was wonderful, and of course we have all heard what great things it can do for your balance and flexibility, so I finally got up the courage and tried it this morning. I would say it was surprisingly uneventful, but for all of you that have done yoga, it wouldn't be surprising. 

My decision that now was the time to try it was based on my measurements from the other day, actually. One of the things that they measure is your flexibility. You sit with your butt against the wall, legs straight in front of you and they measure how far you can reach toward your toes. Well, I can reach 6" further than I could when I first started, which I decided meant that I was probably flexible enough to not embarrass myself in a Yoga class. Also the fact that all my extremities were symmetrical meant I might have an edge over my old self in balance as well. So yes, my suspicions were correct and I actually did an OK job this morning!

I walked in after a woman who was heavier than I was and was instantly put at ease. I'm still always self-conscious when I try new things that I will be the biggest one in the class, especially when it's guaranteed to be a class geared toward intimidatingly thin girls. This is another thing I don't think chronically skinny people ever think about. Anyway, so I grabbed a mat and set it up near her. I turned around and said "I've never done this before..." and she said "Oh, it's hard". ...*blink* wow, thanks. lol. She recommended I get a second mat, which turned out to be a great idea the further into class I got. We didn't talk much (obviously, yoga isn't that kind of class) but when we got our water break halfway through she smiled at me reassuringly which actually helped a lot. I was better at parts of it than I expected, and worse at others. I surprised myself at how well I did the full body flowing combinations, and was disappointed at how I couldn't do some of the stuff towards the end as well. Overall, though- definitely glad I went. 

So for those of you who have never done Yoga before, I will try to help you understand. The instructor turned on the calming music and turned off the lights and spoke very quietly so at first it was kind of hard to understand her. I'm also pretty sure she had some kind of slight eastern European accent. She focused a lot on breathing and I was kind of surprised before we started she had us close our eyes and "Ask yourself why you're here? What are you goals? What is your purpose?" which is good to do but for some reason it surprised me. I guess it shouldn't have, I knew that Yoga uses some forms of meditation and such. Anyway, so after we were done pondering our existence we did a lot of sitting stretching and then moved to the "downward dog" and "plank" type things. We did them isolated first and then did a combination a few times. I was pretty good at those. Mostly because I've been doing planks a lot more lately. Then we did some standing stuff that wasn't hard, then a lot of one-legged stuff that I was ok at. There was this one move that was surprisingly difficult, I think she called it the "warrior saint". It was one of those things that looked easy but wasn't. It was easier the second time one the other leg after I got used to it. We ended with laying on our backs and relaxing and I really liked how my body felt, because I'd just had a full body workout that had me sweating, but didn't feel punished. And when we were done, my fellow curvy woman told me "You did great!" which really did make me feel better. haha

So the verdict is that I like Yoga, but as my default favorite is Zumba and this is the complete opposite of that, it will take some getting used to. I want to try out a different class time and see how it differs. According to my facebook friend, it was probably Vinyasa yoga. So I think I'll look into the different kinds and see what they're about. I told Will, this is probably gonna be like Spin class where after the first one you're like "well, that wasn't great but I can see why people do it" and then you try it a few more times and eventually add it into your routine. I think I'm gonna start practicing my balance outside of Yoga though, because I really want to be better at the one-legged stuff. Of course I want to be better at everything, which is why I started this blog in the first place. =)

Saunas Suck, Surprisingly

Hey guys! So, Wednesday spin class was pretty good today. Every week my endurance is up and I can TELL! Gotta love results you can actually feel even if they're not measured. Yesterday I was on the elliptical for 30 mins and I did 2.3 miles so I feel pretty good about that. I burned 850ish calories yesterday and 750ish calories today so I am gonna step it up tomorrow bc I like to have at least one day in the gym a week where I burn around 1200 calories.

Also, tomorrow I'm going to my first Zumba class!! I've been wanting to try it for ages but I didn't want to go by myself and I couldn't find one at a time I liked, but now they offer one tomorrow at the same time as my spin class was today! A few of us were talking after spin and we're going tomorrow so we all have friends to help us laugh at ourselves. =) I'm really excited! And of course I will let you known how it goes. So tomorrow I'm going to Zumba in the morning and then I have a half our with josh in the afternoon, and THEN Friday morning I have an hour small group with Nichole. So basically I'm using this week to go to the gym every day and kick my butt back into gear. I'm gonna be so exhausted. I'm still a bit sore from legs on Monday, but yesterday after I did my ab circuit [ 3 x (20 flat bicycles, 12 leg-extensions/reverse-crunches/whatever-you-call-them, 20 Jesus sit ups)] I decided to try out the sauna. My glutes and quads were still killing me(I was cursing myself for doing those 2 extra sets of leg presses the day before) and I knew that supposedly the sauna helped.

Well, how does one go about getting in the sauna at the gym? Good question! I have NO IDEA. I didn't have a towel with me, other than my already drenched workout hand towel. Even if I did, I wasn't going to strip down and wrap myself up for a post-workout steam. Ok well I have nice thick boy shorts on and a good sports bra and they happen to both be black, so I could just lay there in my underwear...right? Shows you how far I've come that this was actually my initial plan. But do I strip to my skivvies in the locker room and walk over there in my underwear? I'm not ok with this plan anymore. Ok... So maybe I just wait and take off my shirt and shorts once I get in there? Good plan. So I took off my shoes and socks and left them with my keys in a locker. I took my water and my phone with me, and walked barefoot to the sauna(making a mental note to bring my flip flops next time I wanted to do this). So I take a quick glance at the warning posting, make note that I am not pregnant or drunk so I should be good to go but to leave if I feel dizzy or nauseas(duh?). I open the door and walk in and find not just one, but TWO skinny girls laying in there fully dressed with shoes and everything. Well, crap. So at this point, in my mind, I have no socially acceptable choice but to lay there fully dressed in the remaining spot (which is on the lower "shelf", if you will, and slightly more narrow than the upper one). So there I lay with my two very small and very silent sauna companions trying to be as unobtrusive as I can with about 5 inches of my right side hanging off of the ledge that I'm on. Oh by the way, it's 180 degrees Fahrenheit according to the sign outside, and I'm sweating even more than I was while I was just pounding out my last ab circuit to the 2 step remix while trying to ignore the 5-7 young good-looking guys trying to look impressive for themselves and everyone else in the mirrors by the ab mats.

So I lay there for a couple minutes, trying to move as little as possible while trying to figure out what to do with my arms. Skinny girl #1 gets up and leaves, so I wait til she's definitely gone and get up to move to the upper shelf which should just about be wide enough for my Latina hips. I sit there for a minute to decide how I want to situate my self when ANOTHER intimidatingly thin girl comes in and lays down where ITG(intimidatingly thin girl) #1 just was. Well, crap. Now I don't have room to also lay down, which is apparently the ideal position for cooking yourself post-workout. I sit there and try to decide if I should just leave even though I've only been in here for about 5 minutes when skinny woman #2 leaves. yay! So I move to her spot and lay down, even though that puts my feet about a foot and a half away from ITG but she's listening to her music so she can pretend to ignore me and it'll be all good. So I get comfy and lay down and desperately wish I could take off my shirt but ITG is, again, fully clothed with shoes and everything so I figure I can deal for another couple minutes. Which really, is all I can deal with. The heat feels good on my tired muscles but I am warm natured anyway and this is becoming a little too much for me. I stick it out about 4 minutes after ITG's arrival and then I have to bail. My shirt is sticking to my chest and back, which may look good if you belong in a magazine but isn't a good look for me, trust me. Besides I've drained my water and I want some more. So I try to extract myself as un-awkwardly as I can, and pass another magazine-worthy girl about to go in to cook herself. The room-temperature air feels blissfully cool against my skin and I am suddenly more thankful that I am barefoot. Haha. I enjoyed the heat on my muscles and today I feel like it probably did help, but I don't know if it's worth the awkwardness. I really want to try it again tomorrow after Zumba, but if there is more than one other person in there I just don't know if it's worth it.

I'd cut my losses and just get in the hot tub if I had a swim suit that fit, but un/fortunately, I'm fairly certain my one from last summer would fall off of me before consulting me if it was convenient. And the thought of swim suit shopping right now while I'm right between regular and plus size pretty much makes me want to punch someone. Probably an ITG unwarily making things awkward in the sauna.