V-I-C-T-O-R-Y, That's the Shrinking Battle Cry!

...lol. I dunno, I need to go to bed. So many NSVs lately! Sorry I'm a COMPLETE failure at blogging lately, but I have mostly been succeeding in real life. =) I'll give y'all a quick update and then maybe talk about calorie restrictions.

I've been sticking pretty good with IF, maybe a few days not quite the fast I was looking for. I also recalculated my calorie intake which I will talk about more in depth later. For the last 2 weeks I haven't been losing the 2 lbs/week I was maintaining prior to that. I actually was kinda stuck in a rut, and had been stuck at the same number on the scale for almost 2 weeks. I was gonna give my recalculation a week or 2 to settle so I was about to have to go back to the drawing board. Happy to say when I weighed in a few days ago, I was down FOUR pounds! So, still averaging 2 lbs a week. =D On track to reach a HUGE goal before Labor day! Also hopefully going to be able to finally share my progress pics! I'm 78lbs down now and I was planning on the big reveal at -80 lbs. So hopefully by next week! =D

I'm really excited guys. REALLY, really excited! I've had so many compliments lately, it's really spurring me on to keep going. Some highlights are:
-Will putting his hand on my stomach at the movie theater while I was standing and he was sitting and asking "Are you sucking your stomach in? It's so flat!"
- People at church telling me how great I look
- My old trainer Nichole telling me I'm getting some great curves and complimenting me on my progress.
- A patient today asking me "Have you...How much weight have you lost?" She hasn't been in since March, and we started seeing her in December, so I've lost about 50 lbs since we started seeing her. I looked at her chart "Well, since I saw you last...about 35 lbs?" Her mouth almost fell open she looked so shocked. She was so sweet and supportive it really made my day. It'll be a couple months until she comes back and she said "Well, keep it up!" I told her hopefully the next time I saw her I'd be skinny for real. haha

One of the biggest victories from this past weekend was that I went to Lane Bryant this weekend and pretty much confirmed that I can no longer shop there. The tops/dresses are sized 14/16 and were too big, the underwear sized 14/16 probably could've fit for the next couple weeks but I didn't want to waste money on that. And I couldn't even find a pair of 14 shorts to try on, and the 16s are way too big. So yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Officially out of plus sized stores. This is a HUGE victory for me. Probably one of the biggest so far in this long winding road. I tried on a bunch of clothes from the big bag o' 14s [I got from a friend a while ago] and pretty much everything fits except the Eddie Bauer size 14s. The Levi's size 14s fit perfectly so I'm calling that official. lol.

So, this is a huge benchmark for me, and i'm really stinking excited to have finally made it. This is officially the smallest I have ever been in my adult life. I might have been a 14/16 my freshman year of high school, but nothing near this toned and lean. In another month or 2 I'm gonna have to sit down and really do my research and evaluate where I want to go with this last leg of weight-loss. I've learned so much but feel like I have so much more knowledge I could chase after. In my next post I'm gonna talk about the different things I've considered so far how I've readjusted every few months. Thanks, once again, to EVERYONE on this long crazy journey. I hope y'all have enjoyed reading about it and continue to root me on! =)

Why my pants sag off? I'm working my ass off!

Paraphrasing a Kanye line there that has always made me laugh. Finally took some new pictures today!

Woot!

Went to Old Navy today because they were having a sale and, of course, because none of my clothes really fit. I'm down another 2 lbs this week still going strong on IF so I think this is working for me! haha. If anyone has some size 12s they want to donate to a good cause, I'll be there soon! These are a 12 from Old Navy which really means that I'm probably pretty solidly in a 14 at most stores possibly a 16 where they run small. This is a medium top, too. Today was the first time I've ever experienced the frustration of the average-sized girl. There were no mediums/14-12s left in the colors I wanted!! So, this is what I ended up with, which I do like. I'm gonna wear it to a Rangers game this upcoming week! =)

So in honor of the summer, here is a look at the last 3 summers in comparison to this one. I'm so glad I've discovered lifting heavy and more recently IF. I've made much better progress in the last 6 months than I have in the last 3 years! haha.

Sizes 2x/24, 2x/22, 1x/18 and M/12 respectively 

Maybe over the summer I'll do a monthly progression from where I've been since December, which is when I really started back up again. Luckily between being in a sorority and recently actually trying to document my progress, I've got a LOT of pictures from the past several years. =) I've got some progress pics planned to debut in August that I'm pretty excited to see where they are. =D

Still slightly bummed about all this subcutaneous fat/ "loose skin" on my upper arms and thighs but it's shrinking too just at a much slower rate. I've been doing lots of random stuff to get it to tighten up and I think it's working to some degree. I just want to wear tank tops and be able to flaunt my newly discovered biceps and shoulders and shorts to show off my squat-strengthened legs! *sigh* I'll get there, I know. I dunno why I'm all of a sudden impatient now, I guess because I have been making such substantial progress lately, I feel like I should have more to show for it than bingo arms and saggy inner thigh cellulite. =P

So...what's new? I got back to all of my classes this week! I forgot if I said that last time but I went to my normal Tuesday Zumba and Wednesday yoga. Felt sooooo good! I was actually sore from yoga until yesterday! We did a lot of twists so my obliques were really angry afterwards. haha. I did back/shoulders yesterday and legs today. I would usually do chest/arms today but my shoulders were SO SORE that I had to switch because I didn't think I was gonna be able to do anything. haha. My low back was still a little sore today so my squatting didn't go as well as it normally does. I did get some satisfaction that the skinny guy in the rack next to me was deadlifting less than I can, but by the end he was probably lifting more than I am as far as percentage of body weight so I gave him a break. =) I still felt really strong even with my sore back.

I really love lifting weights. Y'all might be tired of hearing it, sorry. It's hard to explain the sense of accomplishment of lifting something heavier than you did last time if you don't already understand it. It's just such a tangible measure of strength. I had 135lbs across my back, a 45lb bar and two 45lb plates, and thought "This is a lot lighter than I thought it was gonna be". As my warm up/deloading weight. 2 months ago I wasn't near maxing out at that and I wouldn't have DREAMED that would be this easy for me. I've gotten to the point on some lifts where my grip strength or accessory muscle strength is limiting my actual lifts.  I need to get my back stronger so I can squat more, and I need to get my grip stronger so I can dead lift more. And I need to actually focus on form and technique for bench press. I swear it's the red-headed step child of my workouts. haha. I'll get to it soon! I'm sure I will be posting a triumphant blog when I start making big gains in my bench press. =) Sorry about the spotty updates recently, I've been getting back on my normal schedule now that Will is home. I've been keeping my facebook page pretty well updated though, if you're on facebook(ha) and want to follow that. =) As always, thanks for all the sweet words and encouragement! 

Everybody Loves a Top 10 List!

aka the NSV post inspired by a huge victory on the scale. haha.

First, I just have to do this. So here is a different picture of the fat vs muscle density difference.

Grapefruits and Tangerines

So here is the representation of my 50+ pound victory so far.

50 lbs of fat = space of 30 grapefruits

I've lost over 30 grapefruits worth of fat. lol. That's pretty awesome. At my next big mark I'll go fill a basket with grapefruit or something. lol I dunno if Walmart would appreciate that.

SO, here are the Top 10 Non-Scale Victories associated with my big scale victory

10. Having officially completed two 5Ks and actually WANTING to run more.

9. Feeling full without finishing a meal. It's amazing how much your stomach shrinks when it doesn't have all those grapefruits up there encouraging it. haha

8. Doing a mile on the elliptical in 7:08. I have essentially cut my mile in HALF[not in real life, unfortunately] on the elliptical from where I started.

7. Being down 4 sizes from where I was. Size 24 pant to size 16. Almost able to shop at ITG stores!

6. Leg pressing more than I weigh and doing more than half my weight on the seated dip. How soon is too soon to strap myself into that thing? lol

5. My boyfriend's jackets being too big on me. I dunno about the rest of you fat girls, but I always wanted to be that girl wearing my boyfriends too-big letter jacket. Goal achieved.

4. Being able to touch my elbows to my knees when doing bicycle crunches. You have no idea how much this always bothered and shamed me before and now I have to be careful not to bruise my legs with my elbows.

3. Talking to women at the gym after classes and seeing their faces when I mention how much I've lost.

2. Being able to do compound abs! Such a huge victory for me!! Oh, and being able to hold a plank for over a minute! Big time, y'all.

1. Going to the doctor and hearing nothing but "You look great!", "Wow!", "I am SO proud of you." and "Keep it up!"

I still have a long way to go but I am one HUGE step closer to being where I want to be! Thanks to EVERYONE for all the love, support and endless encouragement! I also feel the need to "shout out" to Kacee aka Butterbean4283 for keeping me accountable on MFP and achieving her own 50lb weight loss! Yay! Guys, this is possible! I'm not the only one doing it and YOU can do it, too! I honestly have the "If I can do it, anyone can!" attitude about this. You just have to find your motivation. 

The numbers are IN!

Got my measurements done today! I think I've successfully punched through that plateau. OVERALL I've lost 38 inches from my first measurements in October of 2011, which was roughly a year after I started losing weight. I really wish I had measured myself at my worst so I would know how far I've come. From my measurements since I started this blog, I've lost 6 inches total. They turned out about how I thought they would, which is good and bad. I've shrunk a lot in my torso, but my extremities are all the same, except for my calves which are actually bigger. But lets be honest, I'm not too upset that my soccer legs are reshaping themselves.

Because that's the thing, my legs and arms are obviously more muscular than last time, but for the most part they're almost exactly the same size. BUT they are, for once, symmetrical. Isn't that a thing, that people think you're more beautiful when you're more symmetrical? Well, sad news for that, 80% of people have one side of their bodies longer than the other. haha. When I first started only my calves were the same, my biceps and thighs were an inch different. Soo yeah. If we ignore the inches from my neck/arms/legs...

Negative inches from 01/2012
Chest: 1.5"
Shoulders: 0.5"
Waist: 1.5"
Hips: 2.75"
Total from torso: -6.25"

Most of this is back fat. Like really, my boobs are still the same size they were but I have less fat on my back. Also, I think it is safe to say I have literally danced my ass off with Zumba. The squats I'm doing make my glutes bigger and Zumba shakes all the fat off. I was telling Nichole that it's really frustrating when my waist and hips shrink faster than my thighs because then it's really hard to find pants that fit right. I'm 6/6.5" smaller in my waist/hips than in 2011. That's half a foot! So crazy.

So, hopefully by next week I will have met my goal and be officially 50, yes FIFTY, pounds down from the very start. I have a special post planned for that milestone so get excited! =) Thank you again, everyone, for all of your support! It means a lot and keeps me going when times get rough! And now so does this picture, which I will leave you with, that my friend Holly posted.

Plateaus and Legs

Y'all, these last few weeks have been ROUGH! I've been working hard, eating pretty well, under my calorie goals and I hadn't seen any real change on the scale. I went to a "fat-burning bootcamp" last Saturday and I weighed like 3 pounds more the next morning. Even if you're telling yourself "Muscle weighs more than fat" and even if your boyfriend is telling you [unsolicited] that your thighs, arms and waist are looking smaller; a girl can't help but plead with the scale to cooperate and get on board with everything else!

So last night Will had lots of homework, and I was exhausted from a long day so we ended up not going to the gym. And, to make the night even more guilt-ridden, we had fried chicken for dinner(which I haven't had in months). I was under my calories but over in fat, saturated fat and sodium. To make it even more lazy-feeling I slept in this morning. So I stepped on the scale this morning thinking that it would be the same numbers I've been looking at for the last 2 weeks. To my surprise I had lost almost 3 pounds! So, as of today I have lost 46 pounds from my start. I'm hoping that means my body is going to get back on track. I was pretty consistently losing 2 lbs a week for a while so I want to get back to that. I know your body will do everything on its own time but gosh it's annoying!

In other news, today was a leg day. I stopped doing the hip abductor/adductor machine a couple weeks ago and started doing plie squats with a dumbbell and some pilates moves for thighs. I also started doing full squats, because apparently Will and I weren't doing them exactly right. You're supposed to go all the way down where your thighs are parallel to the floor, but I wasn't doing it that far down before. At first I had lowered my weight but now it's back up to higher than it was before. So I started doing them free-weight on the 45lb bar and it's not as hard as I thought it would be.

Have I every told y'all how freaked out I was when I started doing squats? I had to start at a really low weight(like 60lbs lol) and work my way up. It wasn't that I couldn't do more weight physically but mentally I had to get over it. I really don't like things touching my neck, and I guess it's just the really constricted feeling of literally having all that weight on your shoulders. Like one wrong move and you're going to crush something or decapitate yourself. I mean, it's not gonna happen but in my mind I was one wrong move away from a horrific death. Lol. But I'm over that now and squatting like a champ-in-training. =) Today I upped it to 115 lbs after my first set at 105. I'm still doing leg presses at 180 but last week I did 5 x 10 so this week I did 4 x 12.

My normal routine used to be 3 sets of 15 reps for everything but I started trying to do higher weights at 5 x 10. This may have something to do with my "plateau"? I'm probably gaining muscle faster than I'm losing fat. I'm pretty sure I've talked about the muscle/fat relationship before but I really need everyone to see this picture again even if you've seen it before.

This is what you're working towards. Getting rid of that gross looking bumpy fat and trying to get more of that lean pretty looking muscle. So if you're working hard and getting on the scale and seeing that the numbers are staying the same, then that's okay. You just have to reprogram your[most likely female] brain to focus on your other successes: adding more weight on a challenging machine/exercise, being able to run longer or faster, or having more room in your clothes. All those "NSV". You HAVE TO stay positive, focused and motivated; because on this journey, it's a lot easier to give up then it is to stick with it. 

Run, Gorda, Run!

GUYS! HOLY CRAP! Can I please tell you what just happened? Well other than me accidentally eating a surprisingly fattening sandwich....We'll come back to this. More importantly, tonight I DID 3 MILES in TWENTY THREE MINUTES AND NINE SECONDS. That averages out to 7:43 a mile....I am just blown away. I feel like I need to write an acceptance speech or something because it's like the elliptical has rewarded me for hard work with a time warp or something. One of my friends recently posted she wanted to  average 8:30 for 3 consecutive miles and I thought "Wow, I'm gonna try that next time" and then kinda surprised myself that I had the same time goal as a thin girl who I know goes running in her neighborhood all the time.

I somehow did my first mile in 7:30. I slowed down considerably after that, but I picked it back up because I wanted my next mile to be between 8-8:30. So then as I was getting closer I just kept the pace up and finished in 7:51. I slowed down again and decided if I could do 2 under 8:00 then I could get the 3rd one under 9:00 for sure(even though 2 months ago I was happy with a 10 minute mile). So with the combination of some good music and my boyfriend going twice as fast next to me, I managed to finish the 3rd mile in 7:48. Wow. I am seriously, sitting here like triple checking my math because this is still hard to believe. I dunno what my body figured out on my birthday, but it's continuing to improve on it. Maybe one thing that has helped me get better is that I used to also have to keep an eye on my heart rate. I have a feeling that all that Zumba helps more than I realize because I used to push myself until I had to slow down to get my heart rate down, but I haven't had to do that since I really started up again on the elliptical. That's exciting, I didn't think about that until right now. =)

So ok, let me try to break this down into some helpful advice. When you're on your chosen form of cardio, whether it be the elliptical, treadmill, crossfit, or maybe even on a real track: Pay attention to your time and speed. Sure you'll get good results if you think "I'm just gonna go on here and give it my best and work my butt off". But if you have a specific goal in mind, it will help. So like tonight, I knew that 8 mph would be a 7:30 minute mile so I was shooting to keep my mph as close to 8 whenever possible. Sometimes it dipped down to 6, sometimes it went up to 9, but I tried to keep it in the high 7s, low 8s depending on the resistance I was getting(I have it set to random, which is basically uneven rolling hills). Now if you don't have a mph display on your machine or you're doing your mileage outside, you're gonna have to do math in your head and gauge your pace. "I just did that quarter mile in 3:00 so if I keep this pace I'm set to do a 12 minute mile" or whatever. Again, all about being self aware and knowing what you need to do to get what you want.

Believe it or not, I had already met a goal before I even got upstairs. Today was the first day I ever "Maxed out" on something. Today was a chest day (Have I explained this? Maybe this will be my next post.) and I have recently added bench presses into my routine. Again, last time I was doing them with the bar alone so I would get glances from the free-weight beefcakes varying from amused to offended. Because we didn't have any time constraints, the gym was relatively empty, and we were both working chest: I told Will I wanted to try to max out my bench press. So, I wasn't really sure where to start, so I started with a 25 on each side which is 95lbs total. I actually managed to do 2 of them! So, we agreed that I could safely say I maxed out at 100. haha. I switched up my usual routine of 3 sets of 15 and did 5 sets of 8. Bench press is a lot easier with a spotter who you know can lift you much less the puny-in-comparison bar you're lifting. So I did 5x8 at 75 pounds, which is obviously 30# more than I was willing to do by myself. I have a feeling my chest is going to be very sore tomorrow because I then proceeded to do my normal chest day minus the incline press I usually do.

Ok this is getting longer than I thought so 2 quick things: I need to not get the Tuna sub from subway again unless I do Zumba on Fridays. The footlong Tuna on wheat with cheese is 1,470 calories!!! 93.6 grams of fat!!! I mean, it's also 48 grams of protein but goodness! I was so surprised when I started trying to put it into my calorie counter. So even with a 700+ calorie workout I'm over my calorie goal for today. So, BEWARE! Next Friday I'll have to plan ahead and get some healthy fish or make my own Tuna because damn, that's not gonna work. Second thing is that I'm doing the aqua bootcamp tomorrow with Will! So that will be exciting, I'm sure. Except that I'm 95% sure I can't wear my heart rate monitor in the pool so I won't know exactly how many calories I'm burning. Hmm, guess I'll have to see what MFP can come up with for me. Well, that's all for tonight, guys. Again, thanks so much for all the encouragement and sharing your stories with me! I really appreciate it and enjoy hearing about how hard work pays off for others, too!

Gooooooooooooool [The goal-setting post]

So this post is brought to you by: Progress! When I was using my calorie counter app, It informed me that if every day were like Friday and Saturday, I could lose 22 pounds in 5 weeks. Now, this is about 4.5 pounds a week, which is INCREDIBLE. In all senses of the word, because I didn't really believe it. SO, I apologize in advance if this gets tedious, but y'all stick with me because I think a lot of us need to think about things a little differently.

I'm gonna come out and say it: I want to lose another 100 pounds. This may sound crazy to you skinny people, but all of you fluffy kids out there can imagine where I'm coming from. I'm currently down 30-32 pounds from my "start" weight, which took me 16 months to lose and a year to keep off. I lost my focus and this summer I un-did a big chunk of my hard weight loss. I managed not to undo my muscle gain, which is an important distinction. So weight-wise I'm essentially where I was at this point last year, but I've got my best work out buddy back and we're both focused and ready to keep working.The thing I've got going for me that I didn't last year is that I've felt what 10 more pounds lighter feels like. I know that with just another couple months at this pace I could potentially be down to shopping consistently in regular stores by this summer. Last year that was my goal and I missed it because of lots of things going on with work and family and my boyfriend coming home. But this year I am more focused and determined than I have ever been. And I have a plan, a clear laid out set of goals. If I can stay on this track I'm on, I'll show you what I am capable of.

So here goes the micro-goal setting and meeting that you have to do within the bigger picture to stay on track. I have lost around 10-12 pounds in 5-6 weeks, that is just at my 2 pounds a week which is my goal on the calorie counter. Now the way I went hard this week puts me at 4.5 pounds a week. So let's be realistic and say that If I continue to work hard and eat well, I could potentially lose 15 pounds every 6 weeks, about 2.5 pounds a week. When you break it down into bite-sized pieces, it becomes a lot more conceivable. "I need to lose 100 pounds" well...yeah...but when you say it like that it sounds IMPOSSIBLE. But if I lose 15 pounds every 6 weeks for the rest of the year, I will have lost 115 pounds by 2014. I could even think that if I stayed on pace I wouldn't even have to lose weight during the holidays I would just have to maintain that last 6 weeks of the year. Happy Holidays! You've transformed yourself and now you can take pictures for Christmas cards to re-introduce yourself to all your friends! lol. Did that idea just cross my mind? It absolutely did.

Now, I know as I lose fat the weight will not be quite so "easy" to sluff off. I know this. I know it's going to be hard, even excruciating, the closer I get. But when I lay it out in such clear terms "Marissa, all you have to do is be under your calorie goal and keep working out and eating lean protein" it makes it a lot less stressful. I have to constantly be thinking about why I'm doing this. It's not just to be able to shop at H&M or eventually buy a wedding dress with only 1 digit in the size. It's so that 20, 30, 40 years down the road I won't be worried about checking my blood sugar every day or injecting myself with insulin. About getting out of breath playing with my kids and grandkids. Worried about what the possible side effects of this medication or that medication are, or how they interact, or how much my prescriptions are a month.You have to do what you can with the cards that you're dealt in life. My genetic deck isn't so hot but my cards can for the most part be trumped by diet and exercise. With a low BMI and a healthy diet, science suggests that I can keep everything I'm at increased risk for at a good distance. But you know what else you can keep with a low BMI and a healthy diet? Single-digit-sized clothing. And that's pretty encouraging, too. 

Victories of All Sizes

I have so many things I want to tell y'all! I didn't know what today's post was gonna be about til I was on my way home from the gym. Today I want to talk about victories and setbacks and how I classify and handle them. This was spurred by a victory I had today: I jogged on the elliptical for 5 minutes without breaking a sweat. I remember times [not too terribly long ago] that I couldn't jog for 5 minutes straight, or it would've had me breathing like that rhino at the end of the stampede in Jumanji. So needless to say, today was a great day for me.

Especially considering I ate like CRAP this wknd. Belated birthday celebrations and superbowl snacks are not conducive to eating healthy/staying under your calorie goal. But instead of dwelling on the fact that for 2 days in a row I ate like "old Marissa", I just made myself work that much harder today. Josh's schedule got pushed back so I actually was on the elliptical for 20 minutes before he kicked my ass for an hour. And I survived, like a champ. This is another reason why today is very victorious, especially in the shadow of the weekend of deliciously awful food/drinks. Lol.

It's really all about celebrating your victories no matter how trivial they might seem. That's how you keep yourself going. My victories at the beginning that were huge to me are now common occurances. Again, it's about being self contained and not trying to compare yourself to everyone else. That may work for some people, but I know for the majority of women, that's gonna be a recipe for sweat pants that never see sweat and always see couch. And also letting what you COULD consider failures fuel you as motivation to do better next time.

So just START! Be self aware. "Today I will not eat anything fried" "I climbed the stairs without breathing harder" whatever your starting point is, just start. Set goals, big and small. Long and short term. It's kinda like when you add something to your to-do list that you've already done just so you can scratch it off. Think of something you can already do, congratulate yourself, and take it a step further. So you can already climb the stairs with no difficulty? Great! Try running up them or see if you can walk 2 flights. These are the kind of baby steps you HAVE to take to keep yourself motivated. At least for me, if I'm achieving something every couple days, I can only keep improving, right?

This is how I've dropped 40 lbs and 32< inches. And guys, I'm on a roll. Suddenly stealing my sisters size 12 shorts is no longer a day dream but a GOAL. One I'm on track to achieve by this summer, if I can keep up the intensity. And if I can't? I'm still 3-4 sizes smaller than I was. My size 24s from 2 summers ago look like clown pants on me now. A couple weeks ago I bought a size 16 jacket and I did a little dance in the dressing room(and I don't care that you know it)! So what that I ate a crap-ton this weekend? I burned 1111 calories today and I "ran" a mile and a half in less than 20 minutes without breathing like a rhino. I am my successes, not my failures.