How Many Grapefruits Equals a Sun Bear?

First item to report: bro-free Yoga. haha. I like to believe that people will stick to things, but I guess it wasn't for them. Yoga was much needed today as this is the penultimate day of the squat challenge. Need to do 240 squats today! I feel like somebody beat me in the back of the thighs with a baseball bat. Or maybe a tire iron. Not sure. But in any case it feels awful and is all from my new personal best on the romanian deadlift Monday. So it's an even trade, really. haha. Anyway, I haven't finished my squats for today yet, but I WILL before I submit this blog because sometimes the thought of letting myself and YOU down is what keeps me going. People pleaser to the death of me, I know. =) My yoga instructor is a goddess because she took us through extra hamstring stretches before and after the workout because I mentioned I was gonna be on the struggle bus with anything that required hamstring strength/stability. haha.

Next thing on the agenda- this is the best thing I've seen today:

Someone posted it on fitocracy in one of the groups and someone said that we all start with a koala bear, which weighs around 25lbs. lol. There's also a lighter weight version with cats:

So these are really funny because I like putting weight into real world perspective so much, but I hadn't actually stopped to think about the weight I was lifting, only the weight I was losing. In the Fitocracy weight loss group one girl said when she did squats with dumbbells she would think "I used to walk around with this much extra weight all day!" So I've decided for my next big milestone picture, I'm gonna try to take it at the gym with a big dumbbell of how much I've lost. =D (I'll have to be sneaky because I don't think my gym allows pictures...I know they don't allow video.)

There is so much inspirational stuff I've found that I just don't know what to share with you guys(because if I shared it all it would be really overwhelming). I'm realizing more and more how much I've changed and transformed both inside and out. Keeping this blog has really helped me keep track of myself and I like going back to read the old ones sometimes. The most important thing I think I can tell someone is set goals! Long term crazy sounding ones that just MIGHT be achievable and short term and medium(?) term goals for the days/weeks/months. Like I've said before "I need to lose 100 pounds" sounds a lot more intimidating than "I need to lose 2lbs a week". And don't make all your goals weight related! Improvement in any area is improvement and usually more reliable than the scale. Being able to walk up the 4 flights of stairs in the parking garage without losing my breath is a lot more useful than saying I've lost X amount of weight.

But, since that is what my blog is about...as of today I've lost 64 lbs overall! haha Next week y'all will get before and afters from my squat challenge! I'm excited to see them myself, because I can feel the difference in my leg strength and how toned by quads are, but the only difference I've been SUPER aware of is my knee definition, which is strange but wonderful. My knees never really hurt me, thank God, but I have noticed that they are getting really tired the last week after I get to like, 150+ squats. So I am glad that I am almost done. But yeah, a month ago I wouldn't have known that I could do 250 squats. Now I know that I can squat a lynx on top of a sun bear. =D

Bros in Yoga and ITGs in Bikinis

Y'all. I cannot even begin to explain how strange I feel right now. I should be exhausted, and my body is definitely tired, but somehow I still have energy to type this blog. I also feel like I should be proud of myself, but am still feeling a bit inadequate. Today has been loooong but wonderful! I went to TWO classes at 2 different gym locations today. Needless to say I have Wednesdays off of work. haha. I spent the time in between sunbathing by a rooftop pool in Dallas. Every time I have days like this where I'm like "Man I never would've been able to do this 2 years ago, or 1 year ago" it is just a really great feeling.

I had my normal wonderful Yoga class this morning. Well, not so normal, actually... Like a minute or two into class, 2 bros walk in. There are like, 5 women plus the instructor in our class so I was like "oook?". Because these are your average dudes who look more ready to play a pickup game of basketball or stare into a mirror while curling than to walk into a yoga class. Youngish 20s, completely average sized, and you can tell they're determined but nervous. They were on the other side of the room so honestly I didn't get to see them much except when we were doing triangle pose, which they seemed to be performing with the same mix of un-comfort and resolve. They were right behind me on our way out so I asked them if they had fun and they both gave me tired smiles and one of them said "I don't sweat that much when I workout!" and the other one was like "Yeah man that was HARD!" I just told them if they kept doing it they would get stronger and it would get easier. =) So that was funny, it'll be interesting to see if they come back next week.

So, I haven't gone swim suit shopping yet, and I think I'm still gonna put it off as long as I can. My swim suit from last year still fits actually, although if I do too much actual swimming it would be too big. But for a decorative-type function it still works and that's what we did today. I actually let my stomach get some sun! So not only is it flatter, but it is also now less pale! haha. I pulled up the tank-top part while it was just my boyfriend and his best friend. I used to be REALLY insecure around his bestie because every SINGLE one of his female friends is like a "7" or hotter. But now that we're actually friends for real and he's gotten used to the fact that he can have a fat female friend(because seriously, none of them are anywhere remotely close to being overweight) I don't really care anymore. So we left for some food, because all the aforementioned hotties were running late, came back and the 3 intimidatingly thin girls I was anticipating were all there in their bikini best... so needless to stay my stomach didn't get anymore sun. haha. But my shoulders look GREAT! =P Anyway, I could probably say truthfully that this is the least-uncomfortable I've been at the pool with 3 hot girls in bikinis. My first inclination was to just leave on my swim cover and risk a farmers tan, but this was my first real summer sun and gosh darnit, I was gonna get it! So I tried to just act as comfortable as I could even when I still felt completely inadequate next to women who probably wear sizes 0/2-6, and it worked and I got over it[kinda]. It's better than it was last summer when we had pool parties with the same girls because then I did my best to stay in the water or hide behind my towel/cover-up/boyfriend. I still really wanted to, but my hiding days are over, even if it is more emotionally exhausting than I'd like to admit.

So all that fun made me slightly late for my agreed spin date with my friend who is in town. We always spin when she's here but I knew we weren't gonna be there in time to get bikes. We ended up going to 45 minutes of the body sculpt class, which KICKED MY ASS. Like literally, I got a cramp in my right glute from all the squats and lunges we were doing within like 15-20 minutes. That was about 5 minutes after I stopped trying to count the squats to see how many I could log for my squat challenge. I think I can safely say I fulfilled today's 185 squats, even leaving 15 minutes early so I could get to church choir. I think we were both not-so-secretly relieved we had to go because our muscles were screaming. I don't think a 5lb dumbbell has ever felt so heavy. I hope it never does again.

Well other than my adventures from today, I think the only other thing of note is I'm going to have to re-arrange my schedule for the next month-ish due to extra choir rehearsals during my previously-scheduled Zumba time! =( So, I'll have to figure that out...I added Liz, the Zumba instructor on facebook so that I can pester her about her teaching schedule for other classes. haha. I hope I can work something out, I've been Zumba-ing for so long now I don't want to go a month without it!! =( Although now might be the time to try out Jazzercise. I can't remember if I told y'all we had a Zumba instructor and a Jazzercise instructor both come in with plantar fasciitis on the same day! I thought it was kinda funny. Anyway, I accidentally let the Z-word slip in front of the Jazzercise instructor and she told me I should try a class because she lost 125 pounds and has kept it off for 15 years doing Jazzercise. I looked at some of the instructive videos on the site and my knee-jerk reaction was "This looks like some white people sh--..." But I also turned to Will and pointed at the girl doing the video and said "See, I would be completely happy if my body looked exactly like hers" sooo... I dunno. I'm still thinking it over. Have any of y'all done Jazzercise? Let me know in the comments! I will keep y'all updated because I'm sure it will be some kind of adventure if I go, although who knows what kind. =) 

Will Squat for Shorts

Halfway through the squat challenge!! I did 140 squats today! If you're interested you can click here to see how I did them(and the rest of my work outs!). =D I'm feeling great. My legs are getting STRONG. Like, When I touch my thighs they are hard even when I'm not flexing. It's a really strange feeling.

You know what else is a strange feeling? Realizing that when you're standing up, sucking in doesn't really do anything. Like, the middle part of my stomach tightened up and came in a bit, but it didn't really do much. And when I actually thought about it, I couldn't remember the last time I had sucked in. Of course I also can't remember the last time I wasn't considered "obese" or "morbidly obese" by any method of measurement. Now I think by my body fat I'm a lot closer to just being "overweight" but there's lots of different definitions out there. All I know is I'm THISCLOSE to being in a size 14 which I don't remember ever wearing in the last decade of my life so I'm pretty sinking excited. Although with all these squats my quads won't be able to fit but I guess that's what shorts are for!

I've never been excited to wear shorts in my life. Like, fat girls DREAD short season. Thighs are jiggly, knees are ugly, and everything is pale because you never let anyone see them if you can help it, even Mother Nature. Now I have this pair I got from Old Navy that I'm excited to put on every time. Not the hottest legs ever, but probably my best looking legs since like freshman year of high school. haha OH! Will and I took new bluebonnet pictures! I dunno if I mentioned this last week. Here are a few that show off my progress.

 [Sorry for how gag-worthy these are, we really can't help it sometimes...]

So yay! These were a few weekends ago now but these are my new favorite shorts which I am un-apologetically wearing all the time because a) I don't want to buy another pair because b) I hopefully will need a smaller size in a few weeks. A really, really good problem to have. These are the shortest non-athletic shorts I've worn in a WHILE so yay for better legs and confidence! =) Who's still with me on the squat challenge? I have a before picture that I will post once I have an after picture to go with it. And then y'all can see how defined my knees are getting and you'll want to do it, too! ;) I'm already making a list of goals for June. Joining Fitocracy has given me so many resources and ideas for my workouts and how and why and WHAT to do in the gym. If you need advice or ideas or motivation I would definitely recommend it! =) Click on my link and go and join and friend me and you can see in detail how I'm kicking my own butt into short-shape. 

Food Verdict? Not guilty!

I feel like I always have so much stuff to talk about but I don't want to ramble or repeat what I've said recently. So if I do either of those things, sorry!

So- day 8 of the squat challenge was harder than I expected! Today was a rest day, but my legs weren't sore so I almost did squats today anyway! haha. This challenge has been pretty awesome so far. I won't talk a whole lot about it because I'm doing daily updates on my facebook group, but I do feel compelled to say: I did my Monday squats in sets during commercials of watching The Amazing Race. Just saying, you can make excuses(Monday is my day off from the gym due to my schedule) or you can make commitments and get results. Tomorrow we come back strong with 100 squats so yeah, I guess I'll take my rest when it's scheduled.

Speaking of scheduling things- I have an article I want to talk to y'all about. Go read it! I'll wait.

Done? Ok good. So I've never had a scheduled "cheat day" and this article makes me glad I don't. But I think she's onto something when she says that it might be good for you to feel the difference in your body. If I eat too much or greasy food or something that I know I shouldn't, more often than not I have more physical repercussions than mental or emotional. I can't eat a whole restaurant serving of fries anymore. Like, physically and mentally unable. There's still a tiny part of my brain that says "There's still food on your plate, eat it!" But I know that if I finish it I will feel awful, because the last time I did(which was probably several months ago now) I felt so sluggish and bloated and it was the worst feeling ever now that I'm not used to feeling fat all the time anymore. And like she said, you can still celebrate when the occasion calls for it. I ate SO MUCH on Saturday celebrating with my friends and adopted family. But because I stayed away from things I know would make me feel crappy(excessive creamy-saucy pastas, etc) and ate more of the delicious things (like brisket and rice) that wouldn't make me feel crappy, I didn't feel bad in body, mind, or spirit. Yes, I still have some food-guilt- I mean I'm a Mexican Catholic, guilt is the last thing we can get rid of- but not for when occasion calls for it. Part of that is my changing palate and just increased will power. Turns out using those muscles makes them stronger, too.

I actually ate a bacon double steakburger last night from steak and shake. This would probably fall into the "If it fits your Macros[IIFYM]" mentality. This is the mindset that as long as you hit your allotted macros(Protein, carbs, fat, etc)  for the day that it doesn't matter the calories or what you're eating. For example, as long as I don't go over my carbs for the day, I could eat as many Doritos as I can(this is what i'm currently craving, apparently, normally I would say ice cream). I don't usually[read: ever] follow this because it stresses me out, but that cheeseburger fit into my macros and my calories and I burned 1200 calories at the gym so I wasn't going to feel guilty about it(480 calories, which is pretty good for a cheeseburger). This made me happier than yet another grilled chicken sandwich from somewhere. And because I had been good with my lunch and my snacks, even if I hadn't worked so hard I still would've been okay to eat that. Sometimes you just want a cheeseburger.

And on that note, everyone should read this! I think everyone has looked at a girl and thought "Go eat a cheeseburger, please!" ...Well, at least I have...but I have a notoriously low tolerance for ITGs...oops. So this is an article from that girl's point of view and how she changed her life by lifting. I will be a little more forgiving of chronically skinny girls after reading this article. They're probably more of a casualty of society than I am. But as she says, hopefully we have a shift in thinking and "strong will be the new skinny". =) 

The Fitness Bug and Squat Butt

Guys, I feel like I need to re-write the lyrics to Usher's "You got it bad" or something. I've been reading and doing and loving so much stuff lately. Today was the first day of the 30-day squat challenge and I banged out those 50 pretty easy.

Easy-peasy...until next week. lol

I have to say thanks to Leah for turning me on to the squat challenge, and thanks to Lauren for introducing me to Fitocracy. My facebook news feed(when I get past posts about engagements, weddings, husbands and babies) is full of people being healthy! I have so many friends doing good things and I am so proud of all of you!! Lauren, Leah, Caitlin V, Sue, Linda, Anne Marie, PJ, Kayli, Rebecca and everyone else posting about exercise and goals and success, y'all are awesome! Keep it up, don't take your eyes off the prize! And don't forget to leave a comment if you're doing the challenge with me/us!

Today was such a great day at the gym. Finding this new community to connect to on Fitocracy which is so supportive of the workout aspect has been a breath of fresh air. I love MFP for the accountability and I'm definitely still using that, but the weight training is in its own section and doesn't log calories so it just makes your journal look cluttered because each set is its own line. It's more of just a note to keep track of the weight for your own benefit. On Fitocracy its centered on the WORK you're putting in and the people are already so supportive! Part of it is that the site automatically puts you in groups when you list your interests. So it put me in some groups like "Lady Lifters" and "No Barbie Weights Here" lol. It is really nice to see other women doing weights WAY heavier than I am and being way smaller than I am and know that if I keep going in the direction I'm going I can get there. It's been over a week and a half since I lifted anything and I didn't realize how much I missed it!

After reading so much and being so inspired I'm pretty much going to do the opposite of what I was planning. I was going to cool it on the heavy weights and focus more on a medium weight with more reps. I think I'm going to just train harder but focus more on free weights. I'm still kind of uncomfortable in the testosterone fest that is the free weight corner but if I can just get over it and act like I belong there maybe I can prove that I do. My main problem is that about half of the guys aren't there to train, they are there to show off or help their friend show off. I was trying to go grab some dumbbells and this guy was perched on the rack right over the 5 pound weights watching his friend do something fancy on one of those half-ball platform things. Now, I wasn't going to use the 5 pound weights, but anyone who did would certainly be intimidated by this jerkface. I did have to get close enough to him that he noticed he might POSSIBLY be in the way and got up and apologized unconvincingly. I think I chose to ignore him because I had my headphones on. As does anyone who is actually doing work(have you heard the music in the gym?). Anyway, the point is- it is hard to carve yourself a place in that corner of the gym if you don't have a Y chromosome. Not because it's difficult to lift, because that is implied and that's why you do it, but because if it is the least bit crowded it is almost impossible to avoid douchebags who are trying to prove their own worth in the most obnoxious and obvious way possible. I am more impressed by the guy silently slamming out 15 reps of his own weight on bench press than the guys taking up a squat rack alternating sets of 8 not-squats every 5 minutes with much to-do and grunting.

I'm sorry, I know I complain about these various and sundry asshats every few posts after I've had to encounter them but it is really coming to be my pet peeve. It's so distracting! Will tells me to ignore them, and I'm getting better at it, but I don't turn my music loud enough to drown everything out because my ears are too sensitive for that and I actually make myself aware of the people around me in case they get too close to me or something becomes unsafe. All that aside, I added 10 pounds to my deadlift and did 5 sets of overhead dumb bell presses in preparation for eventually doing a barbell overhead press which is apparently a big deal in the fitness world. haha I also added 5 pounds to the seated dip machine, bringing me to 56% of my body weight. Yay!

That is also because I'm continuing to lose weight[fat]: I did my bf% today and I'm down 3.2% from the end of March!! Basically this tells me that although the scale says I've lost 10 pounds in 5 weeks I've actually lost 11.3 pounds of fat! This is why you can't go on the scale alone, guys and gals. Your weight is only PART of the equation! So even though my thighs continue to stay solidly at a size 16 even if my waist is closer to a 14, I will do my squats for the rest of this month and forever. Though I think I will only do my lifting squats on actual leg days. I know I'm not gonna get huge or anything[despite every female's instinct] but It's still a concern that my thighs and not my waist will keep me from sizing down in pants. But if that's the price I have to pay for a toned lower half that looks better and better every week in shorts, than I'll have to be okay with that. 

It MAY Workout

So, I'm trying to figure out if fitness as a lifestyle is addictive, or if I might just have a slightly addictive personality anyway and this is my new addiction. Maybe it's both. It's like the more you try, the more you want to try. I was actually really sad I didn't get to go to the gym today. We re-arranged Will's room because he got a new TV so I spent most of the afternoon vacuuming the floor with a hand vac and helping move furniture. lol. I burned a good amount of calories just not the way I wanted to do it.

I think the more I teach my body, the more it wants to learn. It's like my brain usually is, a black hole of curiosity. "Oh, I like this, what else can we do?" I picked up Yoga MUCH faster than I expected but enjoy it just as much as I thought I would. I want to try belly dancing and get back into pilates and like a dozen other things that I've seen or heard of and want to know more. I'm a completely new person, unafraid of these "skinny girl" things even if I might be slightly apprehensive at first. 

I want to do this 30-day squat challenge I heard of on facebook. I think I need to alter(for now) my approach to strength training. I've been following the advice of my boyfriend, who has his own significant weight loss story that he achieved just by reading body building forums. But this approach, obviously, is mostly about weight-lifting and muscle gain. It has worked so far because the muscle I have gained has helped melt the fat on top of it. But now that I have a pretty strong base to work off of, I really want to focus on slimming down and keeping that muscle toned. 

It's like when you see those pictures of "Half their size!" and you're like "How was that beautiful skinny person hiding in that big fat person?". I can see the skinny person under there now. Before it took a LOT of imagination, but now I can clearly see her in there under that fat and extra skin. I want to let her free!! So, here's my new work out plan for the month of May: 

-On May 1st I'm going to start the 30-day squat challenge. I would LOVE if any of y'all want to do it with me! I got the idea from my friend and I wish I had started it with her. 

-Protein shake for breakfast every day. My goal is to really up my protein intake so I can maintain as much muscle as possible. Because...

-Cardio at every work out. Right now I let myself slack on cardio to like once or twice a week outside my classes. No more. I will do cardio every time I walk through those doors.

These are my main goals. I want to keep slimming down but at this point my muscles are growing enough that it's making my legs look bulky. But I'm down to a 16 pant and a L top so I'm pretty happy lately. I posted a picture from today on my facebook page if you didn't see it. NSV for real with my boyfriend telling me "You look like you don't have a stomach, you look fantastic!" haha. These are the things that keep me going! 

Fat Marissa comes out to play, but Skinny Marissa is here to stay!

So I let fat Marissa come out to play Saturday at a drunken wedding and I didn't lock her back up until Monday afternoon. haha. Seriously though taking 3 days in a row off working out and letting myself eat whatever I wanted resulted in gaining like 4 pounds! So, small step back but it's good to know how quickly I can undo so much of my hard work. Also, I don't think I've mentioned that I have gallstones.

So, for roughly the last year I've been having bouts of nausea and back pain after eating super fatty foods, especially dairy fat. I found out it was gallstones last summer but the attacks are so infrequent I don't want to do surgery. Anyway, I've pretty much cut dairy fat out of my diet as much as possible. I'm lactose-intolerant anyway so it wasn't THAT hard. Especially when I know that eating queso might result in hours of agony. So  every 3 weeks we have a patient that comes in and brings donuts. Fat Marissa was ALMOST back in her cage but she slipped back out for a 2nd donut, which resulted in me getting sick halfway through choir practice and laying in bed for hours. So, yeah. Don't get gallstones. It sucks.

Even with the residual soreness, I got back on it hard last night with Zumba and then gave myself a mini spin class. I haven't been able to make it to spin in a couple weeks and the gyms have gotten new bikes so I went and played on one for a while. It was great! The new bikes count your calories burned and how fast you're peddling and how far you've gone, so cool! The sauna at the gym has been messed up lately so the heat I've come to savor after a hard workout was about 60 degrees less[a mere 120, lol] than it usually is and I was sad. Something about that intense heat relaxing all those muscles you just punished is really relaxing once you get used to it. If you're doing hard work outs and your gym has a sauna, I definitely recommend trying it. Though as accounted by my post roughly a year ago, saunas can get awkward fairly quickly. Now I walk in empty-handed in my socks and If i'm by myself I take off my shirt and lay on top of it, which is also apparently socially acceptable. I also like to use my exercise towel to cover my face. Serves dual purpose of  being able to ignore everyone else, and protecting my lungs from the super-hot air.

Anywho, I promised y'all pictures and pictures you shall have. Again, this is what I've pretty much established as my "before" picture:

April 2010

And this is my April 2013 picture:

April 2013

Sorority pose in full effect, y'all. It's pretty much permanent and I can't really help it. haha Fairly certain 2 of those grapefruits came from my chin. =) I was back on campus and tried taking a picture in that exact spot from 3 years ago, but everything has grown so much and it was muddy and I didn't want to make Will get his dress shoes dirty sooo yeah that was a fail. haha. Maybe I'll try again later, I'm sure I'll be back on campus for another wedding eventually.

This is a really random post but I guess that's what I get for skipping a week and getting sick and having lots to say. I apologize! I might actually do another post Friday because I want to talk about how I'm going to make changes to my current workout routine. Not Zumba or Yoga though, because I'm still loving those. Did Yoga again today and was shocked to be in the top performing half of the class. We had a lot of beginners[like i'm not?] and this one girl was totally unaware of her body and what "straight line" meant. The instructor was trying to help her so she didn't hurt herself but then she gave up when she realized that it was a lost short-term cause. It was gonna take a personal training session in a mirrored box to get her aware of what she was doing.

There was also a fairly obese woman that came in late and only participated in about half the class. I was impressed with the instructor and how she gave her personal attention[without disrupting class] and had her just do some ab work when we were doing stuff that she wasn't flexible enough to do. She just watched a good bit of what we were doing and I talked to her after class and she said she'd be back next week and I assured her I would as well. My Zumba friend that I've been missing was back last night, too! She'd been gone for like a month and she said she was in a car accident! I'm glad she's back and feeling better. We were both moving slowly last night because she was still recovering from that and I was still recovering from my gallbladder attack. I like making friends at the gym, even though Will thinks I talk too much. =) I think if you're gonna be doing the same class with people every week for the foreseeable future you should at least get on a smile-and-wave basis with them. haha

Thanks for reading, guys! Sorry about slacking last week, I will definitely post Friday about my upcoming slim-down regimen change. haha