Still shrinking, I promise!

Wow, how did I go almost a month without blogging? Maybe because my whole routine has changed and my eating went down the drain there for a minute so I didn't feel like confessing my rekindled love for pizza to you guys. oops. =P SO here's a status report

I am still plateaued at JUST SHY of -80 lbs. I'm really frustrated but trying to be patient. I'm trying to stay more focused on what my body can do and not how much it weighs. I'm still progressing pretty well on my lifting, which is really rewarding about 90% of the time. I had a rough workout Saturday that I was just not feeling and got really discouraged. I felt better with a solid workout Monday and a new bench press PR today! Bench press is one of the hardest lifts for me. Part of it is the fear factor of having a heavy bar positioned above my body instead of on my shoulders or on the ground. But also I just really struggle with upper body strength in general. I've never trained or developed any kind of arm strength prior to this journey, whereas strong legs were a given with 13+ years of soccer. I feel like the opposite of one of those curl bros that never seems to have a leg day.

This has never been my problem

Also in lifting news, my favorite group in Fitocracy is having a group challenge that's basically like a mini power-lifting meet. So out of 152 girls in the challenge, I'm 39th! I'm pretty happy with that considering I'm still relatively new to lifting. Although I've pretty much reached the end of my "beginner gains", so now I'm actually going to have to focus a little more on how I'm training if I really want to make gains and have this be more than a means to an end. Well, I am really enjoying it and I do want to take it more seriously. There are a number of lifting programs I've been reading about so eventually I need to pick one and do it. The Olympic lifts are part of most of them so that'll be something new. I've been dabbling with a snatch progression but haven't gotten very far with it because my back and shoulders aren't really powerful enough yet for a "power" move. *sigh* anywho...

I'm back on a good IF schedule, I got off of it for a while which might've led to a few pound back-slide that I had along with ALL THE CARBS. haha. I really love them. And it's not like I'm trying to do a super low carb diet or anything, but if I ate everything I wanted to, I would definitely be out of balance. haha. Despite my stall in weight, I've still been shrinking! Those size 12s I got from Old Navy are almost too big! =D When I hit -80 I'll post my progression but I'll post a new picture on my facebook page soon! =) If you're following me on there you saw the picture of me in a tank top that was too small in college is now indecently huge on me. haha.

I am really sad because one of the choirs I'm in changed its rehearsals to Tuesday nights. So, I'm gonna have to start missing my Zumba class I've been going to since January! =( AND since my Yoga class is Wednesday mornings at my boyfriend's gym, I'll also be missing THAT for the foreseeable future. The start of rehearsals kind of snuck up on me so I haven't come up with a good contingency plan yet. I need to find another cardio class, if not another Zumba class. I've tried several yoga classes and haven't had any real success with any of them, so I need to figure that one out, too. I've done yoga by myself every once in a while so I'll hopefully be able to take myself through some "practice"s on my own until I can find a suitable replacement. I've also done my own Zumba before when I needed cardio and wasn't able to make it to a class. I would just go in the empty classroom and dance by myself to my workout music, which is all upbeat and mostly dance music anyway. haha. So yeah, trying to figure out my workouts!! Hopefully my next post WILL be progress pictures, or at least deeper than this update has been. haha. Thanks for reading, guys! 

V-I-C-T-O-R-Y, That's the Shrinking Battle Cry!

...lol. I dunno, I need to go to bed. So many NSVs lately! Sorry I'm a COMPLETE failure at blogging lately, but I have mostly been succeeding in real life. =) I'll give y'all a quick update and then maybe talk about calorie restrictions.

I've been sticking pretty good with IF, maybe a few days not quite the fast I was looking for. I also recalculated my calorie intake which I will talk about more in depth later. For the last 2 weeks I haven't been losing the 2 lbs/week I was maintaining prior to that. I actually was kinda stuck in a rut, and had been stuck at the same number on the scale for almost 2 weeks. I was gonna give my recalculation a week or 2 to settle so I was about to have to go back to the drawing board. Happy to say when I weighed in a few days ago, I was down FOUR pounds! So, still averaging 2 lbs a week. =D On track to reach a HUGE goal before Labor day! Also hopefully going to be able to finally share my progress pics! I'm 78lbs down now and I was planning on the big reveal at -80 lbs. So hopefully by next week! =D

I'm really excited guys. REALLY, really excited! I've had so many compliments lately, it's really spurring me on to keep going. Some highlights are:
-Will putting his hand on my stomach at the movie theater while I was standing and he was sitting and asking "Are you sucking your stomach in? It's so flat!"
- People at church telling me how great I look
- My old trainer Nichole telling me I'm getting some great curves and complimenting me on my progress.
- A patient today asking me "Have you...How much weight have you lost?" She hasn't been in since March, and we started seeing her in December, so I've lost about 50 lbs since we started seeing her. I looked at her chart "Well, since I saw you last...about 35 lbs?" Her mouth almost fell open she looked so shocked. She was so sweet and supportive it really made my day. It'll be a couple months until she comes back and she said "Well, keep it up!" I told her hopefully the next time I saw her I'd be skinny for real. haha

One of the biggest victories from this past weekend was that I went to Lane Bryant this weekend and pretty much confirmed that I can no longer shop there. The tops/dresses are sized 14/16 and were too big, the underwear sized 14/16 probably could've fit for the next couple weeks but I didn't want to waste money on that. And I couldn't even find a pair of 14 shorts to try on, and the 16s are way too big. So yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!! Officially out of plus sized stores. This is a HUGE victory for me. Probably one of the biggest so far in this long winding road. I tried on a bunch of clothes from the big bag o' 14s [I got from a friend a while ago] and pretty much everything fits except the Eddie Bauer size 14s. The Levi's size 14s fit perfectly so I'm calling that official. lol.

So, this is a huge benchmark for me, and i'm really stinking excited to have finally made it. This is officially the smallest I have ever been in my adult life. I might have been a 14/16 my freshman year of high school, but nothing near this toned and lean. In another month or 2 I'm gonna have to sit down and really do my research and evaluate where I want to go with this last leg of weight-loss. I've learned so much but feel like I have so much more knowledge I could chase after. In my next post I'm gonna talk about the different things I've considered so far how I've readjusted every few months. Thanks, once again, to EVERYONE on this long crazy journey. I hope y'all have enjoyed reading about it and continue to root me on! =)

Why my pants sag off? I'm working my ass off!

Paraphrasing a Kanye line there that has always made me laugh. Finally took some new pictures today!

Woot!

Went to Old Navy today because they were having a sale and, of course, because none of my clothes really fit. I'm down another 2 lbs this week still going strong on IF so I think this is working for me! haha. If anyone has some size 12s they want to donate to a good cause, I'll be there soon! These are a 12 from Old Navy which really means that I'm probably pretty solidly in a 14 at most stores possibly a 16 where they run small. This is a medium top, too. Today was the first time I've ever experienced the frustration of the average-sized girl. There were no mediums/14-12s left in the colors I wanted!! So, this is what I ended up with, which I do like. I'm gonna wear it to a Rangers game this upcoming week! =)

So in honor of the summer, here is a look at the last 3 summers in comparison to this one. I'm so glad I've discovered lifting heavy and more recently IF. I've made much better progress in the last 6 months than I have in the last 3 years! haha.

Sizes 2x/24, 2x/22, 1x/18 and M/12 respectively 

Maybe over the summer I'll do a monthly progression from where I've been since December, which is when I really started back up again. Luckily between being in a sorority and recently actually trying to document my progress, I've got a LOT of pictures from the past several years. =) I've got some progress pics planned to debut in August that I'm pretty excited to see where they are. =D

Still slightly bummed about all this subcutaneous fat/ "loose skin" on my upper arms and thighs but it's shrinking too just at a much slower rate. I've been doing lots of random stuff to get it to tighten up and I think it's working to some degree. I just want to wear tank tops and be able to flaunt my newly discovered biceps and shoulders and shorts to show off my squat-strengthened legs! *sigh* I'll get there, I know. I dunno why I'm all of a sudden impatient now, I guess because I have been making such substantial progress lately, I feel like I should have more to show for it than bingo arms and saggy inner thigh cellulite. =P

So...what's new? I got back to all of my classes this week! I forgot if I said that last time but I went to my normal Tuesday Zumba and Wednesday yoga. Felt sooooo good! I was actually sore from yoga until yesterday! We did a lot of twists so my obliques were really angry afterwards. haha. I did back/shoulders yesterday and legs today. I would usually do chest/arms today but my shoulders were SO SORE that I had to switch because I didn't think I was gonna be able to do anything. haha. My low back was still a little sore today so my squatting didn't go as well as it normally does. I did get some satisfaction that the skinny guy in the rack next to me was deadlifting less than I can, but by the end he was probably lifting more than I am as far as percentage of body weight so I gave him a break. =) I still felt really strong even with my sore back.

I really love lifting weights. Y'all might be tired of hearing it, sorry. It's hard to explain the sense of accomplishment of lifting something heavier than you did last time if you don't already understand it. It's just such a tangible measure of strength. I had 135lbs across my back, a 45lb bar and two 45lb plates, and thought "This is a lot lighter than I thought it was gonna be". As my warm up/deloading weight. 2 months ago I wasn't near maxing out at that and I wouldn't have DREAMED that would be this easy for me. I've gotten to the point on some lifts where my grip strength or accessory muscle strength is limiting my actual lifts.  I need to get my back stronger so I can squat more, and I need to get my grip stronger so I can dead lift more. And I need to actually focus on form and technique for bench press. I swear it's the red-headed step child of my workouts. haha. I'll get to it soon! I'm sure I will be posting a triumphant blog when I start making big gains in my bench press. =) Sorry about the spotty updates recently, I've been getting back on my normal schedule now that Will is home. I've been keeping my facebook page pretty well updated though, if you're on facebook(ha) and want to follow that. =) As always, thanks for all the sweet words and encouragement! 

IF you give a girl some coffee...

So I'll be double posting this week to make up for missing last week, get excited! Depending on my schedule, Wednesday might be a progress pics post! =) Just got down to a size 14 bermuda short! My legs are all bruised from deadlifts so I'm trying to wait for them to fade before I show off my legs. haha. If you like pictures, I am occasionally posting some here that don't make it to the blog, so you can check that out. As of last week I am down 70lbs from my starting weight and pretty soon I will be ready to announce to the world exactly how fat I used to be. haha. I had to get pretty far away from it before I would even hint at it on Fitocracy but now I'm in a place where I'm happy with my progress and find that hard numbers are more appealing especially when those smaller numbers seem SO impossible when you feel SO fat. So yeah, coming-out-party of sorts TBA. =D

So I said I'd talk about IF [Intermittent Fasting] this post and I will GLADLY tell you about it. I also feel like at this point in my blog since I'm starting to get people reading that I don't actually know in real life, I feel obligated to let y'all know that I share all this information as stuff I have found to be helpful for me in my fitness journey, and do not claim to be any kind of expert in anything. I can only share what I've read and let you know what's working for me. Now, if you're not familiar with the concept, this is a really comprehensive overview of the science behind fasting and intermittent fasting. Basically, if you don't eat for an extended amount of time, your body responds by increasing fat oxidation, i.e. burning fat. And this is the fat that really likes you and wants to stay with you forever, the "stubborn fat". The fat that is currently ruining[read: hiding] my would-be-beautiful arms and legs. *sigh* So the optimal fat burning window I read (I think on leangains) is over 16hrs fasted. Anything over I think 8 hrs is elevated from "normal".

So since June 10th I have been doing a 16/8 split of fasting and eating. That is to say, from (roughly) 7pm to 11am I am fasting. I try to finish eating dinner by 7 and I don't eat again until lunch around 11. It's really been fairly simple. I got kinda hungry the first week, but not exceptionally so because I've never been a huge breakfast person. For a while a few months ago I was forcing myself to eat breakfast mostly because "you should" and not really because I was hungry. I found that it made it harder to stick under my calorie goal not only because I was having an extra 300ish calories first thing in the morning, but also because by lunch time I was SO HUNGRY that it made it harder to be happy with my deficit-sized meal. Now, I got to add back in something that I had cut out for a long while- coffee. It was kind of necessary when I was weening myself of caffeine and Dr. Pepper that I kick coffee as well. My poor body just craved the caffeine and I still had such a sweet tooth that after all the stuff I put in my coffee, it was calorically almost as bad as the full calorie can of DP! Now I can put a tablespoon (25 calories) of fat free flavored creamer in my coffee and It tastes just fine!

The beautiful thing about coffee/caffeine is that it is an appetite suppressant and fat-burning-motivator in one. I don't want to say "fat-burner" because I don't think the caffeine really helps burn the fat as much as it helps kick start the fat burning process. But also, because coffee is a viable substitute for breakfast, it helps you think you've already eaten and you shouldn't be hungry. And also, I just really missed coffee so this is all kinds of win for me. =) Most people who follow some form of IF usually use coffee or tea to get through their fasting periods. Drinking lots of water is also important but as I've stated in the past, that's never been a problem for me so I just keep up my good hydration habits. So, coffee for breakfast, lunch for lunch, dinner for dinner, water alll day. Stop eating after dinner. Simple.

I remember reading people commenting about IF that it was hard to get in their calories and should they be eating more and blah blah blah. I'd had some days where I had been really good- too good, you could argue- and been pretty far under my calorie goal. But I couldn't imagine having to get advice on how to eat more. What? Who are you? What is your life like? Can I have this problem? Well, I kind of did towards the end of the first week. I just wasn't hungry or didn't have enough time to fit everything in during my 8 hours of allotted eating time[the term is "feeding window" but it makes me think of zoo animals or something so I don't like using that term. lol]. I figured out that if I just added a snack that I would be okay. I actually went over my calorie goal a few times and I still managed to lose 4 lbs in the last 2 weeks. I had been losing 2 lbs pretty consistently there for a while, but over the last month or two, it had slowed to about a pound a week. This has kick started my weight loss back to where it was and I think is exactly what I needed to get me back on track to getting to where I want to be by the end of this calendar year.

Another thing to note about why IF works in a strictly calorie restriction vein- I think a lot of people experience this "falling of the wagon" happening at night. Having a sweet craving an hr or 2 after dinner, wanting to munch on something while watching a movie or being on your computer. The kind of mindless eating that can really inhibit weight loss seems to happen the most at night. So if you cut out the munchies, which you should do anyway, and then happen not to eat breakfast the next day (hello, 8am classes- we used to always skip breakfast) you've probably already done your 16 hour fast without any real effort or elaborate planning. Now you have your whole days worth of calories to eat in the time you'd usually eat 2 meals. See how much "extra" food banking those calories bought you. You've earned yourself a cookie. 

Crazy Schedule Meets Crazy Yogi

The last week went by so quickly and my routine is so off because of this upcoming concert that I actually stopped and said "Oh, today is Wednesday...I need to blog". haha. I can't decide if I have nothing to say or too much to say.

My regular routine has been smashed to little bits, but I'm coping surprisingly well. haha. With my boyfriend, Will, being gone and my added rehearsals for the choir I'm singing with until Sunday I am just trying to make sure I'm going to the gym- but my class schedule is completely different. Theoretically LA fitness has very similar class schedules so that you can always go to a specific class at a specific time at almost any gym. Well, except my gym doesn't have yoga at the same time as Will's gym. So I tried the yoga class at my gym and I knew it wasn't going to be anywhere near as cool as my regular class but I went in with an open mind. I'm glad I had prepared myself because it was really different. It started out and I was afraid it was going to be more "restorative" yoga but then after like 15 minutes of basic stretching we started doing all these balance things and I was like, uuuuuuh...crap. I balanced on my head/shoulder, one foot and my butt bone. I use the term "balance" loosely of course. =) So that was Friday, and I talked to the teacher afterwards because I was curious what her kind of Yoga was called. She said it was Hatha. She also said some things that almost rubbed me the wrong way, but I dismissed it because Yogis are supposed to be super chill, so maybe she wasn't as judgmental as she sounded.

I decided to give her class another try because lets be honest, balance isn't my strong suit so that could only make me better. Class was mostly the same and I was a little better at standing on one foot, and a little worse at balancing on my round squat-enhanced butt. Well after Sunday's class I spoke to her again, and this time she definitely said things that put me off. Some of her advice was good, but she definitely frowned upon my weight lifting; made a comment that suggesting that I wasn't treating my body right. She also told me that if I did yoga enough that I wouldn't need to lift anymore. ...Um, you're making the assumption that that is a goal of mine? After I already told you I'd been lifting much longer than I've been doing yoga? I dunno, it was very strange for her to say that to somebody who told her they had only been doing yoga for about 2 and a half months. I was talking to her because I was curious about her specific discipline, not because I wanted to adopt it as my own right now, forevermore. *sigh* Anyway, so I don't think I will be going to her class again. I would on Friday, but I think I'm going to go back out to the other gym so I can take Will's brother to work out. I think he's been slacking in our absence so I need to go crack the whip! =P

I really miss Zumba. Like really really. I went 2 weeks ago and not since and I want to DANCE and be silly and burn calories! But, there is a bootcamp at my gym on Saturday and there is a Zumba portion at the end so I am definitely looking forward to that!! I missed the May bootcamp...and maybe the April one? I can't remember. But I'm definitely going this Saturday early afternoon so if we're friends "IRL" please text me if you want to go, I'm allowed to bring friends. =)

Well, I was going to talk to y'all about my new adventures in intermittent fasting, but I think it will have to wait. I started Monday so maybe I should wait til next week to really write about it. BUT I will tell y'all that another thing about my schedule being different is weighing on a different scale. Every time I would weigh myself on the scale at home it would be 1-3 pounds different than Will's scale. And i'm not talking about normal through the day variations. I mean one time I tested it and weighed myself right before I left, and then right when I got home and it was 2 pounds different. So I just decided I wasn't going to weigh myself until after he gets home in a couple weeks. Well, it's kinda driving me crazy but it's also kinda nice. I know I've lost weight so I'm just going to be content in the feeling that my clothes are getting looser and I've been picking up progressively heavier things. I got on the scale today and saw a number 4 pounds lighter than what I saw last week so I'm just gonna keep it in mind but not officially log it in MFP or anything.

Today was chest day and it was awful and wonderful at the same time. Upper body workouts are usually like that for me. I feel so weak because my arms are nowhere near as strong as my legs. But I would rather be like that than like the guys that are curling 80lb dumbbells but then can only quarter squat 135 lbs. *sigh* But I AM making improvements which is, after all, the whole point. I am slowly but surely becoming a better(and smaller) version of myself. =)

Measure Twice and Cut Once? Something Like That...

Well this is going to be the biggest progress post I've had in quite a while!! As of this weekend I have officially lost 65lbs from my starting weight! So Saturday I celebrated at the gym by taking this picture:

Not the most flattering...

That's a 65# dumbbell and it was actually harder to pick up than I expected it to be. Saturday I set ALL KINDS of personal bests, some of which I might not attempt again for a while. That's because Will is gone for Navy training for 3 weeks so we had our own kind of going away party in which I maxed out on bench press, squat and dead lift just because he won't be here to spot me for a while. I also did bad ass on the leg press and I squatted that dumbbell for 2 sets of 5. I was tired from barbell squatting more than I weigh, though, so I probably could have done more if I had started out with those. After a short rest though, I went and leg pressed more than TWICE what I weigh. I hadn't done leg presses for probably 3 weeks just because I was doing so many squats and didn't want to tire myself out. It was like my legs were like "oh great you're letting us push the weight up from beneath instead of above? Let's go!" Saturday was nuts!

So that was the huge gains from the completed squat challenge. It's more noticeable than my pictures which I forgot to get Will to take them before he left so it's on a different camera in a different place by a different photographer...lol. So pretty much the opposite of a good before and after picture, but here we go:

In this month, I only lost 5 pounds on the scale but doubled my leg strength

So, while the improvements aren't super visible in these pictures, my legs are SO much stronger and smooth and hard to the touch. You can kind of tell that they're smoother but only if you look really hard. I don't know if you can tell that my clothes are looser. My butt has also never been "saggy" really to begin with so there wasn't a whole lot of lifting to be done...lol. But yes, the stats on this are way more exciting than the pictures. =D  And you know, being less jiggly in the thigh area is a definite improvement. =P

So now for my measurements! I'm never really sure how to give these, but this works as well as anything:
Negative inches from 03/27/2013[Total since 10/14/2011]
Neck: 0.75 [0]
Chest: 2 [6.5]
Shoulders: 2 [4]
Waist: 0.75 [6.5]
Hips: 2 [8.5]
Biceps(R+L): 2.25 [11.25]
Thighs(R+L): 3.25 [8.75]
Calves(R+L): 2.25 [7.25]
Total inches lost: 15.25[52.75]

So, let me make a few quick comments on these numbers!! First, in 10 weeks I've lost more than a foot off of my circumference. In 61ish weeks I've lost more than 4 feet. BUT, I would like to point out that in those 10 weeks I've only lost 16 lbs but 3.2% body fat. In those 61ish weeks I've lost 46lbs and 8.5% body fat. So the big difference in the past 10 weeks is that I've been trying to be more conscious of the amount of protein I'm eating and trying to eat what I'm guesstimating to be 1g per pound of lean body mass, which is what is recommended for increased muscle growth. Ok hold on, I'm about to get really nerdy. So, since that change I've lost 34.7% of the weight, but 37.6% of the body fat% and only 28.9% of the inches. SO basically what that means is that my body composition has been changing a lot in the last 2 months.

This is why I tell people to take lots of measurements! If I went strictly by my weight or BMI, I wouldn't be getting the full story. The fact that my per week weight loss has slowed but my strength gains have gone through the roof and my fat loss% has increased as I have increased my protein% intake is clearly pointing to the fact that I am gaining muscle and losing fat at the same time and at changing speeds. Although, to be completely honest, I'm not entirely sure how accurate my bf% from today was, and I might retake it Friday morning and get back to you. It was the same as it was when a checked it after the first week of the squat challenge and I KNOW I've gained muscle since then and lost weight. So yeah, I could write a whole post (and people have) about how inaccurate bf% calculations are in general. There are tons of different ways to do it and they err anywhere from 2-6% sooo yeah. Another topic all together.

The point is, documenting things is important if you want to stay on track. Looking at the squat challenge pictures alone is kinda disappointing until you realize that the amount of weight I could lift pretty much DOUBLED and it gained me a lot of muscle and lost me a few inches overall. So, the next step from here? I'm currently doing a plank challenge, which I tried to start in May but then got too busy with all the squats. I want to start a strength training program and I'm looking at a few but haven't picked one yet. I'm still trying to decide from here what route I want to take to my final destination of "fit and healthy". What will get me there the fastest? Is that a route my vehicle can handle? Is it the safest? Will I like the view? What shape will I be in when I get there? The journey is as important as the destination so I'm doing my research along the way and trying to figure out what is the safest and most effective route. Each new check point has more and more information and resources so I have a lot of reading to do! Next week I might share some of it with y'all if you want. =) But in the meantime, congrats to all of those that finished the squat challenge!! And good luck to everyone on your next fitness endeavor! 

How Many Grapefruits Equals a Sun Bear?

First item to report: bro-free Yoga. haha. I like to believe that people will stick to things, but I guess it wasn't for them. Yoga was much needed today as this is the penultimate day of the squat challenge. Need to do 240 squats today! I feel like somebody beat me in the back of the thighs with a baseball bat. Or maybe a tire iron. Not sure. But in any case it feels awful and is all from my new personal best on the romanian deadlift Monday. So it's an even trade, really. haha. Anyway, I haven't finished my squats for today yet, but I WILL before I submit this blog because sometimes the thought of letting myself and YOU down is what keeps me going. People pleaser to the death of me, I know. =) My yoga instructor is a goddess because she took us through extra hamstring stretches before and after the workout because I mentioned I was gonna be on the struggle bus with anything that required hamstring strength/stability. haha.

Next thing on the agenda- this is the best thing I've seen today:

Someone posted it on fitocracy in one of the groups and someone said that we all start with a koala bear, which weighs around 25lbs. lol. There's also a lighter weight version with cats:

So these are really funny because I like putting weight into real world perspective so much, but I hadn't actually stopped to think about the weight I was lifting, only the weight I was losing. In the Fitocracy weight loss group one girl said when she did squats with dumbbells she would think "I used to walk around with this much extra weight all day!" So I've decided for my next big milestone picture, I'm gonna try to take it at the gym with a big dumbbell of how much I've lost. =D (I'll have to be sneaky because I don't think my gym allows pictures...I know they don't allow video.)

There is so much inspirational stuff I've found that I just don't know what to share with you guys(because if I shared it all it would be really overwhelming). I'm realizing more and more how much I've changed and transformed both inside and out. Keeping this blog has really helped me keep track of myself and I like going back to read the old ones sometimes. The most important thing I think I can tell someone is set goals! Long term crazy sounding ones that just MIGHT be achievable and short term and medium(?) term goals for the days/weeks/months. Like I've said before "I need to lose 100 pounds" sounds a lot more intimidating than "I need to lose 2lbs a week". And don't make all your goals weight related! Improvement in any area is improvement and usually more reliable than the scale. Being able to walk up the 4 flights of stairs in the parking garage without losing my breath is a lot more useful than saying I've lost X amount of weight.

But, since that is what my blog is about...as of today I've lost 64 lbs overall! haha Next week y'all will get before and afters from my squat challenge! I'm excited to see them myself, because I can feel the difference in my leg strength and how toned by quads are, but the only difference I've been SUPER aware of is my knee definition, which is strange but wonderful. My knees never really hurt me, thank God, but I have noticed that they are getting really tired the last week after I get to like, 150+ squats. So I am glad that I am almost done. But yeah, a month ago I wouldn't have known that I could do 250 squats. Now I know that I can squat a lynx on top of a sun bear. =D

Bros in Yoga and ITGs in Bikinis

Y'all. I cannot even begin to explain how strange I feel right now. I should be exhausted, and my body is definitely tired, but somehow I still have energy to type this blog. I also feel like I should be proud of myself, but am still feeling a bit inadequate. Today has been loooong but wonderful! I went to TWO classes at 2 different gym locations today. Needless to say I have Wednesdays off of work. haha. I spent the time in between sunbathing by a rooftop pool in Dallas. Every time I have days like this where I'm like "Man I never would've been able to do this 2 years ago, or 1 year ago" it is just a really great feeling.

I had my normal wonderful Yoga class this morning. Well, not so normal, actually... Like a minute or two into class, 2 bros walk in. There are like, 5 women plus the instructor in our class so I was like "oook?". Because these are your average dudes who look more ready to play a pickup game of basketball or stare into a mirror while curling than to walk into a yoga class. Youngish 20s, completely average sized, and you can tell they're determined but nervous. They were on the other side of the room so honestly I didn't get to see them much except when we were doing triangle pose, which they seemed to be performing with the same mix of un-comfort and resolve. They were right behind me on our way out so I asked them if they had fun and they both gave me tired smiles and one of them said "I don't sweat that much when I workout!" and the other one was like "Yeah man that was HARD!" I just told them if they kept doing it they would get stronger and it would get easier. =) So that was funny, it'll be interesting to see if they come back next week.

So, I haven't gone swim suit shopping yet, and I think I'm still gonna put it off as long as I can. My swim suit from last year still fits actually, although if I do too much actual swimming it would be too big. But for a decorative-type function it still works and that's what we did today. I actually let my stomach get some sun! So not only is it flatter, but it is also now less pale! haha. I pulled up the tank-top part while it was just my boyfriend and his best friend. I used to be REALLY insecure around his bestie because every SINGLE one of his female friends is like a "7" or hotter. But now that we're actually friends for real and he's gotten used to the fact that he can have a fat female friend(because seriously, none of them are anywhere remotely close to being overweight) I don't really care anymore. So we left for some food, because all the aforementioned hotties were running late, came back and the 3 intimidatingly thin girls I was anticipating were all there in their bikini best... so needless to stay my stomach didn't get anymore sun. haha. But my shoulders look GREAT! =P Anyway, I could probably say truthfully that this is the least-uncomfortable I've been at the pool with 3 hot girls in bikinis. My first inclination was to just leave on my swim cover and risk a farmers tan, but this was my first real summer sun and gosh darnit, I was gonna get it! So I tried to just act as comfortable as I could even when I still felt completely inadequate next to women who probably wear sizes 0/2-6, and it worked and I got over it[kinda]. It's better than it was last summer when we had pool parties with the same girls because then I did my best to stay in the water or hide behind my towel/cover-up/boyfriend. I still really wanted to, but my hiding days are over, even if it is more emotionally exhausting than I'd like to admit.

So all that fun made me slightly late for my agreed spin date with my friend who is in town. We always spin when she's here but I knew we weren't gonna be there in time to get bikes. We ended up going to 45 minutes of the body sculpt class, which KICKED MY ASS. Like literally, I got a cramp in my right glute from all the squats and lunges we were doing within like 15-20 minutes. That was about 5 minutes after I stopped trying to count the squats to see how many I could log for my squat challenge. I think I can safely say I fulfilled today's 185 squats, even leaving 15 minutes early so I could get to church choir. I think we were both not-so-secretly relieved we had to go because our muscles were screaming. I don't think a 5lb dumbbell has ever felt so heavy. I hope it never does again.

Well other than my adventures from today, I think the only other thing of note is I'm going to have to re-arrange my schedule for the next month-ish due to extra choir rehearsals during my previously-scheduled Zumba time! =( So, I'll have to figure that out...I added Liz, the Zumba instructor on facebook so that I can pester her about her teaching schedule for other classes. haha. I hope I can work something out, I've been Zumba-ing for so long now I don't want to go a month without it!! =( Although now might be the time to try out Jazzercise. I can't remember if I told y'all we had a Zumba instructor and a Jazzercise instructor both come in with plantar fasciitis on the same day! I thought it was kinda funny. Anyway, I accidentally let the Z-word slip in front of the Jazzercise instructor and she told me I should try a class because she lost 125 pounds and has kept it off for 15 years doing Jazzercise. I looked at some of the instructive videos on the site and my knee-jerk reaction was "This looks like some white people sh--..." But I also turned to Will and pointed at the girl doing the video and said "See, I would be completely happy if my body looked exactly like hers" sooo... I dunno. I'm still thinking it over. Have any of y'all done Jazzercise? Let me know in the comments! I will keep y'all updated because I'm sure it will be some kind of adventure if I go, although who knows what kind. =) 

Will Squat for Shorts

Halfway through the squat challenge!! I did 140 squats today! If you're interested you can click here to see how I did them(and the rest of my work outs!). =D I'm feeling great. My legs are getting STRONG. Like, When I touch my thighs they are hard even when I'm not flexing. It's a really strange feeling.

You know what else is a strange feeling? Realizing that when you're standing up, sucking in doesn't really do anything. Like, the middle part of my stomach tightened up and came in a bit, but it didn't really do much. And when I actually thought about it, I couldn't remember the last time I had sucked in. Of course I also can't remember the last time I wasn't considered "obese" or "morbidly obese" by any method of measurement. Now I think by my body fat I'm a lot closer to just being "overweight" but there's lots of different definitions out there. All I know is I'm THISCLOSE to being in a size 14 which I don't remember ever wearing in the last decade of my life so I'm pretty sinking excited. Although with all these squats my quads won't be able to fit but I guess that's what shorts are for!

I've never been excited to wear shorts in my life. Like, fat girls DREAD short season. Thighs are jiggly, knees are ugly, and everything is pale because you never let anyone see them if you can help it, even Mother Nature. Now I have this pair I got from Old Navy that I'm excited to put on every time. Not the hottest legs ever, but probably my best looking legs since like freshman year of high school. haha OH! Will and I took new bluebonnet pictures! I dunno if I mentioned this last week. Here are a few that show off my progress.

 [Sorry for how gag-worthy these are, we really can't help it sometimes...]

So yay! These were a few weekends ago now but these are my new favorite shorts which I am un-apologetically wearing all the time because a) I don't want to buy another pair because b) I hopefully will need a smaller size in a few weeks. A really, really good problem to have. These are the shortest non-athletic shorts I've worn in a WHILE so yay for better legs and confidence! =) Who's still with me on the squat challenge? I have a before picture that I will post once I have an after picture to go with it. And then y'all can see how defined my knees are getting and you'll want to do it, too! ;) I'm already making a list of goals for June. Joining Fitocracy has given me so many resources and ideas for my workouts and how and why and WHAT to do in the gym. If you need advice or ideas or motivation I would definitely recommend it! =) Click on my link and go and join and friend me and you can see in detail how I'm kicking my own butt into short-shape. 

Food Verdict? Not guilty!

I feel like I always have so much stuff to talk about but I don't want to ramble or repeat what I've said recently. So if I do either of those things, sorry!

So- day 8 of the squat challenge was harder than I expected! Today was a rest day, but my legs weren't sore so I almost did squats today anyway! haha. This challenge has been pretty awesome so far. I won't talk a whole lot about it because I'm doing daily updates on my facebook group, but I do feel compelled to say: I did my Monday squats in sets during commercials of watching The Amazing Race. Just saying, you can make excuses(Monday is my day off from the gym due to my schedule) or you can make commitments and get results. Tomorrow we come back strong with 100 squats so yeah, I guess I'll take my rest when it's scheduled.

Speaking of scheduling things- I have an article I want to talk to y'all about. Go read it! I'll wait.

Done? Ok good. So I've never had a scheduled "cheat day" and this article makes me glad I don't. But I think she's onto something when she says that it might be good for you to feel the difference in your body. If I eat too much or greasy food or something that I know I shouldn't, more often than not I have more physical repercussions than mental or emotional. I can't eat a whole restaurant serving of fries anymore. Like, physically and mentally unable. There's still a tiny part of my brain that says "There's still food on your plate, eat it!" But I know that if I finish it I will feel awful, because the last time I did(which was probably several months ago now) I felt so sluggish and bloated and it was the worst feeling ever now that I'm not used to feeling fat all the time anymore. And like she said, you can still celebrate when the occasion calls for it. I ate SO MUCH on Saturday celebrating with my friends and adopted family. But because I stayed away from things I know would make me feel crappy(excessive creamy-saucy pastas, etc) and ate more of the delicious things (like brisket and rice) that wouldn't make me feel crappy, I didn't feel bad in body, mind, or spirit. Yes, I still have some food-guilt- I mean I'm a Mexican Catholic, guilt is the last thing we can get rid of- but not for when occasion calls for it. Part of that is my changing palate and just increased will power. Turns out using those muscles makes them stronger, too.

I actually ate a bacon double steakburger last night from steak and shake. This would probably fall into the "If it fits your Macros[IIFYM]" mentality. This is the mindset that as long as you hit your allotted macros(Protein, carbs, fat, etc)  for the day that it doesn't matter the calories or what you're eating. For example, as long as I don't go over my carbs for the day, I could eat as many Doritos as I can(this is what i'm currently craving, apparently, normally I would say ice cream). I don't usually[read: ever] follow this because it stresses me out, but that cheeseburger fit into my macros and my calories and I burned 1200 calories at the gym so I wasn't going to feel guilty about it(480 calories, which is pretty good for a cheeseburger). This made me happier than yet another grilled chicken sandwich from somewhere. And because I had been good with my lunch and my snacks, even if I hadn't worked so hard I still would've been okay to eat that. Sometimes you just want a cheeseburger.

And on that note, everyone should read this! I think everyone has looked at a girl and thought "Go eat a cheeseburger, please!" ...Well, at least I have...but I have a notoriously low tolerance for ITGs...oops. So this is an article from that girl's point of view and how she changed her life by lifting. I will be a little more forgiving of chronically skinny girls after reading this article. They're probably more of a casualty of society than I am. But as she says, hopefully we have a shift in thinking and "strong will be the new skinny". =) 

The Fitness Bug and Squat Butt

Guys, I feel like I need to re-write the lyrics to Usher's "You got it bad" or something. I've been reading and doing and loving so much stuff lately. Today was the first day of the 30-day squat challenge and I banged out those 50 pretty easy.

Easy-peasy...until next week. lol

I have to say thanks to Leah for turning me on to the squat challenge, and thanks to Lauren for introducing me to Fitocracy. My facebook news feed(when I get past posts about engagements, weddings, husbands and babies) is full of people being healthy! I have so many friends doing good things and I am so proud of all of you!! Lauren, Leah, Caitlin V, Sue, Linda, Anne Marie, PJ, Kayli, Rebecca and everyone else posting about exercise and goals and success, y'all are awesome! Keep it up, don't take your eyes off the prize! And don't forget to leave a comment if you're doing the challenge with me/us!

Today was such a great day at the gym. Finding this new community to connect to on Fitocracy which is so supportive of the workout aspect has been a breath of fresh air. I love MFP for the accountability and I'm definitely still using that, but the weight training is in its own section and doesn't log calories so it just makes your journal look cluttered because each set is its own line. It's more of just a note to keep track of the weight for your own benefit. On Fitocracy its centered on the WORK you're putting in and the people are already so supportive! Part of it is that the site automatically puts you in groups when you list your interests. So it put me in some groups like "Lady Lifters" and "No Barbie Weights Here" lol. It is really nice to see other women doing weights WAY heavier than I am and being way smaller than I am and know that if I keep going in the direction I'm going I can get there. It's been over a week and a half since I lifted anything and I didn't realize how much I missed it!

After reading so much and being so inspired I'm pretty much going to do the opposite of what I was planning. I was going to cool it on the heavy weights and focus more on a medium weight with more reps. I think I'm going to just train harder but focus more on free weights. I'm still kind of uncomfortable in the testosterone fest that is the free weight corner but if I can just get over it and act like I belong there maybe I can prove that I do. My main problem is that about half of the guys aren't there to train, they are there to show off or help their friend show off. I was trying to go grab some dumbbells and this guy was perched on the rack right over the 5 pound weights watching his friend do something fancy on one of those half-ball platform things. Now, I wasn't going to use the 5 pound weights, but anyone who did would certainly be intimidated by this jerkface. I did have to get close enough to him that he noticed he might POSSIBLY be in the way and got up and apologized unconvincingly. I think I chose to ignore him because I had my headphones on. As does anyone who is actually doing work(have you heard the music in the gym?). Anyway, the point is- it is hard to carve yourself a place in that corner of the gym if you don't have a Y chromosome. Not because it's difficult to lift, because that is implied and that's why you do it, but because if it is the least bit crowded it is almost impossible to avoid douchebags who are trying to prove their own worth in the most obnoxious and obvious way possible. I am more impressed by the guy silently slamming out 15 reps of his own weight on bench press than the guys taking up a squat rack alternating sets of 8 not-squats every 5 minutes with much to-do and grunting.

I'm sorry, I know I complain about these various and sundry asshats every few posts after I've had to encounter them but it is really coming to be my pet peeve. It's so distracting! Will tells me to ignore them, and I'm getting better at it, but I don't turn my music loud enough to drown everything out because my ears are too sensitive for that and I actually make myself aware of the people around me in case they get too close to me or something becomes unsafe. All that aside, I added 10 pounds to my deadlift and did 5 sets of overhead dumb bell presses in preparation for eventually doing a barbell overhead press which is apparently a big deal in the fitness world. haha I also added 5 pounds to the seated dip machine, bringing me to 56% of my body weight. Yay!

That is also because I'm continuing to lose weight[fat]: I did my bf% today and I'm down 3.2% from the end of March!! Basically this tells me that although the scale says I've lost 10 pounds in 5 weeks I've actually lost 11.3 pounds of fat! This is why you can't go on the scale alone, guys and gals. Your weight is only PART of the equation! So even though my thighs continue to stay solidly at a size 16 even if my waist is closer to a 14, I will do my squats for the rest of this month and forever. Though I think I will only do my lifting squats on actual leg days. I know I'm not gonna get huge or anything[despite every female's instinct] but It's still a concern that my thighs and not my waist will keep me from sizing down in pants. But if that's the price I have to pay for a toned lower half that looks better and better every week in shorts, than I'll have to be okay with that. 

It MAY Workout

So, I'm trying to figure out if fitness as a lifestyle is addictive, or if I might just have a slightly addictive personality anyway and this is my new addiction. Maybe it's both. It's like the more you try, the more you want to try. I was actually really sad I didn't get to go to the gym today. We re-arranged Will's room because he got a new TV so I spent most of the afternoon vacuuming the floor with a hand vac and helping move furniture. lol. I burned a good amount of calories just not the way I wanted to do it.

I think the more I teach my body, the more it wants to learn. It's like my brain usually is, a black hole of curiosity. "Oh, I like this, what else can we do?" I picked up Yoga MUCH faster than I expected but enjoy it just as much as I thought I would. I want to try belly dancing and get back into pilates and like a dozen other things that I've seen or heard of and want to know more. I'm a completely new person, unafraid of these "skinny girl" things even if I might be slightly apprehensive at first. 

I want to do this 30-day squat challenge I heard of on facebook. I think I need to alter(for now) my approach to strength training. I've been following the advice of my boyfriend, who has his own significant weight loss story that he achieved just by reading body building forums. But this approach, obviously, is mostly about weight-lifting and muscle gain. It has worked so far because the muscle I have gained has helped melt the fat on top of it. But now that I have a pretty strong base to work off of, I really want to focus on slimming down and keeping that muscle toned. 

It's like when you see those pictures of "Half their size!" and you're like "How was that beautiful skinny person hiding in that big fat person?". I can see the skinny person under there now. Before it took a LOT of imagination, but now I can clearly see her in there under that fat and extra skin. I want to let her free!! So, here's my new work out plan for the month of May: 

-On May 1st I'm going to start the 30-day squat challenge. I would LOVE if any of y'all want to do it with me! I got the idea from my friend and I wish I had started it with her. 

-Protein shake for breakfast every day. My goal is to really up my protein intake so I can maintain as much muscle as possible. Because...

-Cardio at every work out. Right now I let myself slack on cardio to like once or twice a week outside my classes. No more. I will do cardio every time I walk through those doors.

These are my main goals. I want to keep slimming down but at this point my muscles are growing enough that it's making my legs look bulky. But I'm down to a 16 pant and a L top so I'm pretty happy lately. I posted a picture from today on my facebook page if you didn't see it. NSV for real with my boyfriend telling me "You look like you don't have a stomach, you look fantastic!" haha. These are the things that keep me going! 

Fat Marissa comes out to play, but Skinny Marissa is here to stay!

So I let fat Marissa come out to play Saturday at a drunken wedding and I didn't lock her back up until Monday afternoon. haha. Seriously though taking 3 days in a row off working out and letting myself eat whatever I wanted resulted in gaining like 4 pounds! So, small step back but it's good to know how quickly I can undo so much of my hard work. Also, I don't think I've mentioned that I have gallstones.

So, for roughly the last year I've been having bouts of nausea and back pain after eating super fatty foods, especially dairy fat. I found out it was gallstones last summer but the attacks are so infrequent I don't want to do surgery. Anyway, I've pretty much cut dairy fat out of my diet as much as possible. I'm lactose-intolerant anyway so it wasn't THAT hard. Especially when I know that eating queso might result in hours of agony. So  every 3 weeks we have a patient that comes in and brings donuts. Fat Marissa was ALMOST back in her cage but she slipped back out for a 2nd donut, which resulted in me getting sick halfway through choir practice and laying in bed for hours. So, yeah. Don't get gallstones. It sucks.

Even with the residual soreness, I got back on it hard last night with Zumba and then gave myself a mini spin class. I haven't been able to make it to spin in a couple weeks and the gyms have gotten new bikes so I went and played on one for a while. It was great! The new bikes count your calories burned and how fast you're peddling and how far you've gone, so cool! The sauna at the gym has been messed up lately so the heat I've come to savor after a hard workout was about 60 degrees less[a mere 120, lol] than it usually is and I was sad. Something about that intense heat relaxing all those muscles you just punished is really relaxing once you get used to it. If you're doing hard work outs and your gym has a sauna, I definitely recommend trying it. Though as accounted by my post roughly a year ago, saunas can get awkward fairly quickly. Now I walk in empty-handed in my socks and If i'm by myself I take off my shirt and lay on top of it, which is also apparently socially acceptable. I also like to use my exercise towel to cover my face. Serves dual purpose of  being able to ignore everyone else, and protecting my lungs from the super-hot air.

Anywho, I promised y'all pictures and pictures you shall have. Again, this is what I've pretty much established as my "before" picture:

April 2010

And this is my April 2013 picture:

April 2013

Sorority pose in full effect, y'all. It's pretty much permanent and I can't really help it. haha Fairly certain 2 of those grapefruits came from my chin. =) I was back on campus and tried taking a picture in that exact spot from 3 years ago, but everything has grown so much and it was muddy and I didn't want to make Will get his dress shoes dirty sooo yeah that was a fail. haha. Maybe I'll try again later, I'm sure I'll be back on campus for another wedding eventually.

This is a really random post but I guess that's what I get for skipping a week and getting sick and having lots to say. I apologize! I might actually do another post Friday because I want to talk about how I'm going to make changes to my current workout routine. Not Zumba or Yoga though, because I'm still loving those. Did Yoga again today and was shocked to be in the top performing half of the class. We had a lot of beginners[like i'm not?] and this one girl was totally unaware of her body and what "straight line" meant. The instructor was trying to help her so she didn't hurt herself but then she gave up when she realized that it was a lost short-term cause. It was gonna take a personal training session in a mirrored box to get her aware of what she was doing.

There was also a fairly obese woman that came in late and only participated in about half the class. I was impressed with the instructor and how she gave her personal attention[without disrupting class] and had her just do some ab work when we were doing stuff that she wasn't flexible enough to do. She just watched a good bit of what we were doing and I talked to her after class and she said she'd be back next week and I assured her I would as well. My Zumba friend that I've been missing was back last night, too! She'd been gone for like a month and she said she was in a car accident! I'm glad she's back and feeling better. We were both moving slowly last night because she was still recovering from that and I was still recovering from my gallbladder attack. I like making friends at the gym, even though Will thinks I talk too much. =) I think if you're gonna be doing the same class with people every week for the foreseeable future you should at least get on a smile-and-wave basis with them. haha

Thanks for reading, guys! Sorry about slacking last week, I will definitely post Friday about my upcoming slim-down regimen change. haha

Everybody Loves a Top 10 List!

aka the NSV post inspired by a huge victory on the scale. haha.

First, I just have to do this. So here is a different picture of the fat vs muscle density difference.

Grapefruits and Tangerines

So here is the representation of my 50+ pound victory so far.

50 lbs of fat = space of 30 grapefruits

I've lost over 30 grapefruits worth of fat. lol. That's pretty awesome. At my next big mark I'll go fill a basket with grapefruit or something. lol I dunno if Walmart would appreciate that.

SO, here are the Top 10 Non-Scale Victories associated with my big scale victory

10. Having officially completed two 5Ks and actually WANTING to run more.

9. Feeling full without finishing a meal. It's amazing how much your stomach shrinks when it doesn't have all those grapefruits up there encouraging it. haha

8. Doing a mile on the elliptical in 7:08. I have essentially cut my mile in HALF[not in real life, unfortunately] on the elliptical from where I started.

7. Being down 4 sizes from where I was. Size 24 pant to size 16. Almost able to shop at ITG stores!

6. Leg pressing more than I weigh and doing more than half my weight on the seated dip. How soon is too soon to strap myself into that thing? lol

5. My boyfriend's jackets being too big on me. I dunno about the rest of you fat girls, but I always wanted to be that girl wearing my boyfriends too-big letter jacket. Goal achieved.

4. Being able to touch my elbows to my knees when doing bicycle crunches. You have no idea how much this always bothered and shamed me before and now I have to be careful not to bruise my legs with my elbows.

3. Talking to women at the gym after classes and seeing their faces when I mention how much I've lost.

2. Being able to do compound abs! Such a huge victory for me!! Oh, and being able to hold a plank for over a minute! Big time, y'all.

1. Going to the doctor and hearing nothing but "You look great!", "Wow!", "I am SO proud of you." and "Keep it up!"

I still have a long way to go but I am one HUGE step closer to being where I want to be! Thanks to EVERYONE for all the love, support and endless encouragement! I also feel the need to "shout out" to Kacee aka Butterbean4283 for keeping me accountable on MFP and achieving her own 50lb weight loss! Yay! Guys, this is possible! I'm not the only one doing it and YOU can do it, too! I honestly have the "If I can do it, anyone can!" attitude about this. You just have to find your motivation. 

Ohhh Namaste...okay...

My arms are so sore. I think I understand now. When all of my friends were telling me about how awesome yoga was, they really did mean it in the same way all of my friends meant it when they told be about how great spin class was. If you find the right instructor it's so great it makes you want to zone out in a hot shower afterwards because you don't want to have to move. That kind of awesome...which for all of you that don't know, is the masochistic kind of awesome that the fitness-minded people like. It took me a long time to appreciate this kind of awesome. I still sometimes have trouble with it.

Except I think I've stopped having trouble understanding the awesomeness of Yoga because I tried it again this morning. It was a different teacher and it was a lot less "explore your inner self" and a lot more "make sure your right knee is pulling towards the 'clock wall'". MUCH more beginner friendly. After we had done a rotation a couple times and understood what she meant by each of the poses, she got up and walked around and corrected people and offered very specific, VERY helpful advice. I was shocked she never came to specifically correct me, but I did feel like I really understood each pose. My first class I had more of a "fake it till you make it" mentality because there were more people and less direction, and as long as I thought I mostly looked like what the instructor looked like it was okay. This time because there were less(7) people and the instructor was giving such specific directions I really felt like I could focus on each movement and pose and get the most out of it. "Think of it as you are between 2 panes of glass, or between the screen door and the front door" Why, yes, that actually helps me a lot to focus on being aligned properly in the correct "triangle" pose. haha.

It's hard to explain if you've never had a correction to your form in doing an exercise that instantly you felt the difference. We were doing one of the warrior poses and she told us exactly how to push our knee out and when I followed her instruction I INSTANTLY felt the difference in my inner thigh just as she was saying that you should feel it in your inner thigh. It's moments like that that really focus your workout because you know exactly what you're working and now you know how to engage it properly. It makes you feel like all your energy and effort are worth it. And she offered modification advice and really made you feel like it was okay if you had to modify, she wasn't going to judge you as inept or anything. "It's okay, this is really hard". [She actually said that]. We did a lot of warrior and side plank stuff, which we didn't do very much of in the Saturday class. So after class I talked to her and asked her if each class had a focus area. Basically we just talked about how the class worked and I told her it was only my second one. She seemed kind of surprised and told me I did great and she asked me about the Saturday class. We talked for a little bit about the different classes and the different gyms. I told her she'd definitely see me next week. haha.

So get excited, all you friends who wanted me to get into Yoga. I'm officially into it. I think this is what I need to get my upper arms and thighs slimmed down. I'm excited, too. Knowing that for probably 30-40 minutes I was doing poses that focused heavily on my current problem areas is really reassuring.

Also, quick couple words on other things: I am prying pound 50 off my body this week. I WILL. So hopefully by Friday I'll get to do that post I'm excited for. =) I might not have time for it though because I'm going back to my college town on Friday to run a 5K on Saturday! I'm really excited about it!! I was initially training to try to get a time on it but when I transferred to real life concrete instead of an elliptical I ended up giving myself tendonitis. I could've kept training in my ankle brace but I figured that was my body telling me I wasn't quite ready yet, and my sister and our friend are going to walk it anyway so I'll just walk with them. It's a color run, so I will definitely post pictures!! Also, if you want more pictures you can like the new facebook page I set up for my blog. I've been having trouble getting my blog updates to the people who want to read them, so I think I finally solved that problem. It also occurred to me that now that I'm 50 pounds down and on the right track to [eventually] get to my negative 100+ pound goal that strangers might also find me inspirational. haha. It's a really weird thing, to think of myself as inspirational, but y'all keep telling me things and eventually I'll believe it. haha. Like how I keep telling myself I don't need cookies and I've started believing it.

....

Although, in full disclosure I feel obligated to tell y'all: I did eat a slice of pizza for lunch, and later half of a cupcake and half a cake ball ...My sister made me do it! *sigh* It's ok, i'm only at 200 net calories for the day and I'm planning on having a very healthy dinner. And I am proud of myself for not having 2 slices of pizza and a full cupcake/cakeball like I easily could have and usually would have. It's the small things, guys. Baby steps, small victories- eventually they add up, trust me! It's my story, and I'm sticking to it. =)

Namaste? Que?

Last week on my facebook page I asked about Yoga and got an overwhelming response of people telling me it was great and I definitely needed to try it. Everyone loved it and thought it was wonderful, and of course we have all heard what great things it can do for your balance and flexibility, so I finally got up the courage and tried it this morning. I would say it was surprisingly uneventful, but for all of you that have done yoga, it wouldn't be surprising. 

My decision that now was the time to try it was based on my measurements from the other day, actually. One of the things that they measure is your flexibility. You sit with your butt against the wall, legs straight in front of you and they measure how far you can reach toward your toes. Well, I can reach 6" further than I could when I first started, which I decided meant that I was probably flexible enough to not embarrass myself in a Yoga class. Also the fact that all my extremities were symmetrical meant I might have an edge over my old self in balance as well. So yes, my suspicions were correct and I actually did an OK job this morning!

I walked in after a woman who was heavier than I was and was instantly put at ease. I'm still always self-conscious when I try new things that I will be the biggest one in the class, especially when it's guaranteed to be a class geared toward intimidatingly thin girls. This is another thing I don't think chronically skinny people ever think about. Anyway, so I grabbed a mat and set it up near her. I turned around and said "I've never done this before..." and she said "Oh, it's hard". ...*blink* wow, thanks. lol. She recommended I get a second mat, which turned out to be a great idea the further into class I got. We didn't talk much (obviously, yoga isn't that kind of class) but when we got our water break halfway through she smiled at me reassuringly which actually helped a lot. I was better at parts of it than I expected, and worse at others. I surprised myself at how well I did the full body flowing combinations, and was disappointed at how I couldn't do some of the stuff towards the end as well. Overall, though- definitely glad I went. 

So for those of you who have never done Yoga before, I will try to help you understand. The instructor turned on the calming music and turned off the lights and spoke very quietly so at first it was kind of hard to understand her. I'm also pretty sure she had some kind of slight eastern European accent. She focused a lot on breathing and I was kind of surprised before we started she had us close our eyes and "Ask yourself why you're here? What are you goals? What is your purpose?" which is good to do but for some reason it surprised me. I guess it shouldn't have, I knew that Yoga uses some forms of meditation and such. Anyway, so after we were done pondering our existence we did a lot of sitting stretching and then moved to the "downward dog" and "plank" type things. We did them isolated first and then did a combination a few times. I was pretty good at those. Mostly because I've been doing planks a lot more lately. Then we did some standing stuff that wasn't hard, then a lot of one-legged stuff that I was ok at. There was this one move that was surprisingly difficult, I think she called it the "warrior saint". It was one of those things that looked easy but wasn't. It was easier the second time one the other leg after I got used to it. We ended with laying on our backs and relaxing and I really liked how my body felt, because I'd just had a full body workout that had me sweating, but didn't feel punished. And when we were done, my fellow curvy woman told me "You did great!" which really did make me feel better. haha

So the verdict is that I like Yoga, but as my default favorite is Zumba and this is the complete opposite of that, it will take some getting used to. I want to try out a different class time and see how it differs. According to my facebook friend, it was probably Vinyasa yoga. So I think I'll look into the different kinds and see what they're about. I told Will, this is probably gonna be like Spin class where after the first one you're like "well, that wasn't great but I can see why people do it" and then you try it a few more times and eventually add it into your routine. I think I'm gonna start practicing my balance outside of Yoga though, because I really want to be better at the one-legged stuff. Of course I want to be better at everything, which is why I started this blog in the first place. =)

The numbers are IN!

Got my measurements done today! I think I've successfully punched through that plateau. OVERALL I've lost 38 inches from my first measurements in October of 2011, which was roughly a year after I started losing weight. I really wish I had measured myself at my worst so I would know how far I've come. From my measurements since I started this blog, I've lost 6 inches total. They turned out about how I thought they would, which is good and bad. I've shrunk a lot in my torso, but my extremities are all the same, except for my calves which are actually bigger. But lets be honest, I'm not too upset that my soccer legs are reshaping themselves.

Because that's the thing, my legs and arms are obviously more muscular than last time, but for the most part they're almost exactly the same size. BUT they are, for once, symmetrical. Isn't that a thing, that people think you're more beautiful when you're more symmetrical? Well, sad news for that, 80% of people have one side of their bodies longer than the other. haha. When I first started only my calves were the same, my biceps and thighs were an inch different. Soo yeah. If we ignore the inches from my neck/arms/legs...

Negative inches from 01/2012
Chest: 1.5"
Shoulders: 0.5"
Waist: 1.5"
Hips: 2.75"
Total from torso: -6.25"

Most of this is back fat. Like really, my boobs are still the same size they were but I have less fat on my back. Also, I think it is safe to say I have literally danced my ass off with Zumba. The squats I'm doing make my glutes bigger and Zumba shakes all the fat off. I was telling Nichole that it's really frustrating when my waist and hips shrink faster than my thighs because then it's really hard to find pants that fit right. I'm 6/6.5" smaller in my waist/hips than in 2011. That's half a foot! So crazy.

So, hopefully by next week I will have met my goal and be officially 50, yes FIFTY, pounds down from the very start. I have a special post planned for that milestone so get excited! =) Thank you again, everyone, for all of your support! It means a lot and keeps me going when times get rough! And now so does this picture, which I will leave you with, that my friend Holly posted.

Plateaus and Legs

Y'all, these last few weeks have been ROUGH! I've been working hard, eating pretty well, under my calorie goals and I hadn't seen any real change on the scale. I went to a "fat-burning bootcamp" last Saturday and I weighed like 3 pounds more the next morning. Even if you're telling yourself "Muscle weighs more than fat" and even if your boyfriend is telling you [unsolicited] that your thighs, arms and waist are looking smaller; a girl can't help but plead with the scale to cooperate and get on board with everything else!

So last night Will had lots of homework, and I was exhausted from a long day so we ended up not going to the gym. And, to make the night even more guilt-ridden, we had fried chicken for dinner(which I haven't had in months). I was under my calories but over in fat, saturated fat and sodium. To make it even more lazy-feeling I slept in this morning. So I stepped on the scale this morning thinking that it would be the same numbers I've been looking at for the last 2 weeks. To my surprise I had lost almost 3 pounds! So, as of today I have lost 46 pounds from my start. I'm hoping that means my body is going to get back on track. I was pretty consistently losing 2 lbs a week for a while so I want to get back to that. I know your body will do everything on its own time but gosh it's annoying!

In other news, today was a leg day. I stopped doing the hip abductor/adductor machine a couple weeks ago and started doing plie squats with a dumbbell and some pilates moves for thighs. I also started doing full squats, because apparently Will and I weren't doing them exactly right. You're supposed to go all the way down where your thighs are parallel to the floor, but I wasn't doing it that far down before. At first I had lowered my weight but now it's back up to higher than it was before. So I started doing them free-weight on the 45lb bar and it's not as hard as I thought it would be.

Have I every told y'all how freaked out I was when I started doing squats? I had to start at a really low weight(like 60lbs lol) and work my way up. It wasn't that I couldn't do more weight physically but mentally I had to get over it. I really don't like things touching my neck, and I guess it's just the really constricted feeling of literally having all that weight on your shoulders. Like one wrong move and you're going to crush something or decapitate yourself. I mean, it's not gonna happen but in my mind I was one wrong move away from a horrific death. Lol. But I'm over that now and squatting like a champ-in-training. =) Today I upped it to 115 lbs after my first set at 105. I'm still doing leg presses at 180 but last week I did 5 x 10 so this week I did 4 x 12.

My normal routine used to be 3 sets of 15 reps for everything but I started trying to do higher weights at 5 x 10. This may have something to do with my "plateau"? I'm probably gaining muscle faster than I'm losing fat. I'm pretty sure I've talked about the muscle/fat relationship before but I really need everyone to see this picture again even if you've seen it before.

This is what you're working towards. Getting rid of that gross looking bumpy fat and trying to get more of that lean pretty looking muscle. So if you're working hard and getting on the scale and seeing that the numbers are staying the same, then that's okay. You just have to reprogram your[most likely female] brain to focus on your other successes: adding more weight on a challenging machine/exercise, being able to run longer or faster, or having more room in your clothes. All those "NSV". You HAVE TO stay positive, focused and motivated; because on this journey, it's a lot easier to give up then it is to stick with it. 

Say what? A Glossary.

Hey everyone! Sorry my Wednesday post is...2 days late...oops. Anyway! I am officially 43 pounds down from my starting point, which is about 2.5 years ago. I feel obligated to note that I was also down this much at this point last year, but this summer I will NOT go backwards. Hopefully I will FINALLY get some measurements done and I can see how much I've shrunk. I know for sure my butt is smaller than it was last year. I think it's all the Zumba. =)

This week I wanted to do a glossary of sorts. I was watching a bunch of nutrition/fitness videos and I felt like I was telling Will to pause it and explain things to me every other video. So, here are 5 terms I've run across in the videos, on MFP, or requests from my facebook friends. =)

Burpees: also called "squat-thrusts"
A favorite of personal trainers, this exercise is used as a combination of strength and aerobic endurance training. [The only time I've ever actually had to do these was the last boot-camp at my gym.] It's made up of 4 movements. First, from a standing position you squat down. Second, you put your hands on the ground in front of you and extend your legs out behind you like you're about to do a push up. Third, you return to the squat position. Fourth, you stand up. Now, Wikipedia has a disgustingly long list of all the ways you can make this already challenging move even harder. This is a good [concise] video I found on the correct form for a burpee.

DOMS: Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness
Yes, that irritating to debilitating soreness you get a day or two after working out has a name, and it is DOMS. I found a really great video about it here. Basically he's saying that it is a good and a bad sign. Good because you know you worked the muscle, in case you were in doubt. Bad because it means your muscles are not efficient. Just because your muscles are sore doesn't mean it was a good workout. Also, you can have muscles that aren't sore and still have worked them properly. A good example is that I used to get soreness to my abs after most of my workouts, but now I don't. I'm still doing the same moves with the same correct form, so I KNOW that I'm targeting those muscles and they're being worked. That's not to say I'm doing the same workout, because I've upped my reps and added weights in to some of my previously weightless ab stuff. If you're interested I would definitely watch the video I linked to above.

HIIT: High Intensity Interval Training
One of my friends told me about this so I had to do some quick research on it. There are SO many articles, I want to read them all! Basically, it is what it sounds like. HIIT alternates bouts of high-intensity exercise with a moderate-intensity exercise. Studies apparently show that it does as much fat burning in a shorter amount of time than steady-state exercising so it is optimal for 10-30 minute work outs. It has just come into focus in the past few years or so, from what I can tell. I think this concept will sound familiar to anyone that has done the C25K(couch to 5k) program. Or any of those "shreds" from what it sounds like.

Hypertrophy: referring to Muscular Hypertrophy
This is defined as the increase in size of the skeletal muscle due to the increase in size of the component cells. Simple enough. I believe I heard this word mentioned in the video on DOMS that I linked to and knew it sounded familiar but couldn't remember what it meant. This is basically the goal of anyone doing weight-training. There is tons of stuff out there on how to best achieve this so I'm not going to pretend I know. haha. Although I think the consensus is it takes lifting weights and eating enough protein.

NSV: Non-Scale Victory [Turns out there are a LOT of things this stands for. lol]
Saw this on MyFitnessPal when someone was talking about their pants being too big. This is a strange term to me because I find that depending on your scales for victories isn't a very dependable way to be reinforced. Yes, you will lose weight if you are burning more calories than you consume, but it doesn't always happen when you want it to or when you think it will. I think if you're going to stay positive about losing weight and stick with it, the majority of your victories should be NSV.

Speaking of, I've had several lately; which is good because the scale and I are at a stalemate once again. Lots of little things that Will has said and I've noticed about the way my face and body are looking. Soon I might get far enough away from some pictures I took about a year and a half ago to actually post them. I say this because it requires taking after pictures in my sports bra fit for me to actually post online and know that people will be seeing it. lol I'm almost there! =)

Sugar and Thighs and everything Wise

So, I had a really fabulous day. I did a REALLY intense leg work out today but a milestone one, for sure. I did 5 sets of 10 on squats and leg press. I "leveled up" on both, I guess you could say. I've been slowly adding 5-10 pounds a time on both and today I got to 90 lbs(1 big 45 plate on each side) and 180 lbs (2 big 45 plates on each side) on the leg press. I usually do 3 sets of 15 with less weight but today I felt like really pushing myself. I was pleasantly surprised at how not-quite-as-hard-as-I-thought it was. Definitely still pushed myself harder than usual, which needs to become my new "usual". THEN I went into the dark aerobics room(a group of gym rats had taken over the ab mats, giving me a good excuse to hide) and did some inner thigh exercises. I did a couple sets of some Pilates moves and then 3 sets of these altered squats with a weight that are supposed to work your inner thighs more. THEN I had myself a mini Zumba session. So yes, lots of fun. haha I basically put myself through a mini bootcamp. I need to check if they're having another one of those at my gym this weekend.

The New Norm

I've been needing to push myself harder because I have not lost any weight in the last week. It's weird because this March 1st I was exactly where I was last March 1st as far as weight and body fat%. This is good and bad. Good because that means I've come a long way in the last 2 months to undo everything I undid the 6 months before that. Bad because I essentially wasted a year. But I'm trying hard not to think about that. I've learned a lot in the last year about myself and my body and how it reacts and what it needs. And I've come a long way stamina and strength-wise. And I still haven't gotten anyone to do my measurements so I dunno if I'm exactly back where I was size-wise. I dunno, I keep going back and forth on that. But part of what is annoying me is that this was where I plateaued last year and I never got over it so now I'm gonna have to switch it up to get over it this time. Not exactly sure what I need to change but hopefully I'll figure it out. 

Looking back one of the biggest differences is my stamina, and I can't help but wonder if part of that is that I don't drink carbonated drinks anymore. I remember during soccer season when I played varsity I would cut sodas out for 3-4 months of the year because our coach suggested it. It always made my body feel better and I could keep up better. And I'm fairly certain I've mentioned it before, but: drinking water is the most important part of a healthy lifestyle. Yesterday on facebook I saw this picture and it really illustrates what I've tried explaining to people in the past. 

So for your viewing pleasure: Rethink your drink. 

This is a picture of the drinks and below the amount of SUGAR in each drink. Now, I'm not even gonna get into what all this sugar can do to you, the difference between natural sugar and added sugar blah blah blah. I just want to point this out solely from a weight-loss perspective. A 20 oz bottle of Dr pepper has 250 calories and 62 grams of sugar. So, say you normally have 2 of those in a day- That's 500 calories and 124g of sugar. [That's like 3 cookies or something] So say you manage to be under your calorie limit for the day drinking all those calories and you're still losing weight, great. Cut out just ONE of those sodas a day? You'll lose an extra 3.5 pounds in 5 weeks. Cut out both of them? 5 pounds. So in that scenario you could lose A POUND A WEEK just from cutting out sodas. This isn't to mention what replacing that soda with water will do for your body. I remember in the past I could lose 5 pounds in a week just by replacing soda with water. (Lent, anyone?) Trust me, you make the switch and your kidneys will be thanking you. 

Now I say "just", but I too was once a Dr. Pepper fiend. I transferred to diet dp and then I kicked it completely. I haven't had a soda in two months. I tried having one for the caffeine like 2 weeks into the new year and I felt awful! So yup, I slowly dwindled and as of this year I'm pretty much carbonation free. The doctor I work for claims that in the next 10 years we're going to find out all kinds of awful things sodas do to you like when they started actually researching what cigarettes do. The thing is, used properly, caffeine itself can do good things for your body. I've been wanting to do a post on caffeine and one on artificial sweeteners but I haven't done the research I need to to be able to talk about it like I want. I think it's important to know what you're putting into your body. It's one of the key shifts your brain has to make for this lifestyle change to really stick. You have to go from "this tastes good" to "this is good for me", and they don't always have to be mutually exclusive. When you start giving your body the right building blocks instead of complete crap for it to work with, it will reward you, I PROMISE! Not getting kidney stones from too many sodas is probably it's first "Thank You". You're welcome.