Let's Talk About Food

I think it was around April '11 when my sister told me about this app that would count your calories and tell you how many to eat(or not) to meet your weight loss goals. I downloaded it and had yet another minor epiphany about this whole being-healthy-and-losing-weight thing. It's called myfitnesspal and you should download it/go to myfitnesspal.com if you have ever thought about keeping a food diary. 

First of all, I really appreciated that it kept track of my progress, short term and long term goals. Also, when I worked out, I could put in how many minutes I did what and it would tell me (approximately) how many calories I burned. But what spurred the epiphany was actually keeping track of what I was eating and being aware of where my calories were coming from. Also, when I would put in my work outs, I would see how much foods "cost" me in comparison. For example, one donut is about 12 minutes on the elliptical.  Now, if I'm only planning on being on the elliptical for 20 minutes, it would take OVER HALF of that to burn off one measly donut.  

This was insane to me! I mean, theoretically I knew how much work it took to burn calories, we all did that lab in high school where we had to burn food to heat up water or whatever it was. So, becoming more conscious of what I ate was mostly a matter of still being a bit lazy. You know? "I'm not gonna eat those potato chips because I will have to run an extra 10 minutes just to burn that off". Or maybe just my experience in weighing options of what to spend money on, now I was deciding how many calories I had to spend and where I wanted to spend them. 

The real key to this is to know yourself, and be honest about what your limits are. If you're only setting yourself up for failure, then you will be discouraged and, well, fail. I know that I like to eat, and I like sweet things. So, I found ways to prevent failure. My 2 main things were chocolate soy milk and apples. "Man, I really want chocolate" Oh here's a 90 calorie glass of chocolate that also happens to have calcium and lots of good-for-you stuff in it. "I really want something sweet" Eat an apple. There's something strangely satisfying about crunching into an apple.

Lets be real: if you are a fat kid, you like to eat. So putting yourself on a 1,200 calorie restriction and doing meal replacement right out of the gate is PROBABLY not going to work, unless you just have insane will power. And if you did, then you probably wouldn't be a fat kid to start with. But letting yourself eat a huge piece of grilled chicken and lots of broccoli and feel FULL, and then realize you only ate about 250 calories...now THAT could be successful. Because lets be honest, eating a lot is probably one of the reasons you're where you're at to start with. Eventually eating less is going to be the goal, but you have to learn/realize what to eat first.This is how I taught myself how to eat. I still eat out, but I usually work out on days that I do, and I feel like I've earned it. And calorie-wise I have. 

Another great thing about that app is that when you're done for the day and hit "complete", it will tell you what you would weigh in 5 weeks "if every day were like today". It's just an approximation based on your calorie intake, but it's just another level of motivation to see that mathematically(which is the most convincing way, right? lol) if you did as well every day as you did today, you'd be 10 lbs lighter in a month. Then you click "progress" and log your losses and you get to see that graph keep dipping down as time goes on, now THAT is totally worth eating an apple instead of a "normal" dessert. 

Baby You Can Be My Motivation

After a few months and 15 pounds, I was feeling pretty good. The pilates took my curves(read:rolls) and turned it into a true hour glass that I could be proud of and was noticeable. My 24th birthday(a year ago today) rolled around and I was happy that all of my friends commented on my new and improved figure. My work in college on learning how to accept a compliment was tested on a physical level and passed. [mostly unrelated to my weight, I think, it has always been hard for me to accept compliments gracefully.] this positive experience only boosted my drive, and generally prepared me for the next destination in this adventure.

Now I guess I should take a second and explain a bit for those who don't know. At this point I had also been on an online dating site for close to a year. I joined because I didnt know how else to meet single, attractive, successful, straight men. Now if you haven't tried it you can laugh all you want, but working in a women's clothing store wasnt exactly a good place to meet bachelors. Anyway, I had gone on several dates, talked to LOTS of guys, and nothing had really worked out. I wasn't exactly giving up, but I was starting to think maybe all these computer engineers and grad students weren't what I needed. I was messaging a couple different guys, when one of them really started to interest me. So, I gave him my phone number after a week, which was completely out of my pattern and decided "what the hell, I'll invite him out with me and my friends". He seemed normal even if he wasn't quite my norm, he was super hot, and what did I have to lose? Well, as you may have already guessed, absolutely nothing. He is now my boyfriend of 11 months and the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Think I'm being a mushy girl? Let me explain. After we started dating I found out that he used to be 60ish lbs heavier and 4 sizes bigger. He was a living embodiment of my ultimate goal: From cute and cuddly to stone cold sexy. It was as if God said "ok, I see you have done what you can for yourself, let me give you your reward in the form of everything you ever needed in a partner". Will was EXACTLY what I needed at exactly the right time. Instead of becoming complacent with where I was, I had living proof that eating right and hard work could transform you into whatever you were willing to work toward.

The best part was that apart from being completely supportive, he was completely apathetic. For any male readers let me explain: the worst thing a guy could do is comment on your health or eating habits in any way that could be construed as "you need to lose weight". Will already liked me for who I was, so I was free to push myself to be better without any sort of pressure from him. This was amazing to me. How easy would it have been for him to push me like he was still pushing himself? Apparently it never crossed his mind.

It was actually close to 3 months before we actually started working out together. This may sound strange but he never offered and I never asked. Probably something to do with how disgusting I always felt after I worked out and I didn't want my boyfriend to see me like that. Finally one day we finally worked out together, and it was another beautiful beginning. We motivated eachother and pushed each other to do more. I actually started to look forward to working out, instead of being another chore on my to-do list. It brought us closer and propelled us each through another plateau. I discovered that one of the best motivators can be a work out buddy to keep you accountable.

A new beginning

Let's give this a whirl, huh? This will just generally be my adventures in weight loss, I guess you could say. I posted my progress on my status and got such a huge response that I figured SOMEONE might find my experiences informational, inspirational, or maybe entertaining. So, i guess let's start at the beginning.

I've been overweight since kids were old enough to start noticing these things. It wasn't like I was exceptionally lazy- I played soccer when most kids were watching cartoons. I was always trying something new; karate, skating, I even took a drill team dance class when I was 10. I just thought it was something someone was, like some kids had freckles or glasses or were tall. As I got older I would try to eat healthier with no real results. Even as a freshman in high school playing soccer every day, 2-5 hours a day, I was STILL incredibly overweight. At some point soon after that I accepted it. Embraced it. I was a curvy Latina, and screw anyone who couldn't handle that. This mentality served me well and I survived high school and college emotionally unscathed.

In my "adult life" this attitude only served me further, and I started working at a clothing store that specialized in plus sized women's cloathing. It was here that I started seeing the many possible futures ahead of me in all the different women coming in the store. The ones that were basically like me, overweight but accepting it and trying to make it work for her; the ones who had lost or gained weight and needed to size down/up; but these aren't the ones that made me think. She was the woman who came in and had to sit after 10 minutes because she was short of breath. The one who could no longer fit into our largest size and had to leave empty handed. This woman terrified me, even if I knew in my heart I could never become her. But above all, the different stories of loss and gain I heard daily made me want to start focusing on my health.

One of the lyrics I love is "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end". Sadly enough, this story of my weight loss begins with a funeral. My friend's mom died in October 2010. Now, in Catholic Mexican families, after someone dies, you gather for 9 nights after that and say the rosary for that person. After that there would be coffee(mostly milk and sugar) and pan dulce(bread covered in sugar). For about 2 weeks straight I was eating an amazingly comforting(read: fattening) meal, followed by sitting, followed by straight inhalation of empty calories. When my friend left to go back to work, I had gained probably 7 pounds in 2 wks. I was the heaviest I had ever been when I stepped on that scale. We challenged each other to lose the weight we had both gained before he returned for homecoming in 2 weeks.

The next day I dusted off a 10 minute Pilates DVD I had never opened and pulled out my sister's mat that neither of us had ever used. For the next 2 wks I did Pilates and made a real effort to eat healthier and was rewarded by actually seeing results on the scale and in the way my clothes were fitting. I managed to lose all the weight I had put on. I was proud, and motivated in a way I had never really been before. Had it been this easy all along and I just didn't know? Surely not. I think a lot of it had to do with being in control of my schedule and my diet. As a student neither of these things were truly under my control....Well, sure I could wake up an hour and a half earlier and work out before class, but that would cut into my sleep. And yeah, I could eat off the dubious salad bar in the caf, but who does that? Skinny people, athletes, vegitarians...Psh.

Suddenly I realized I didnt have ready excuses and I could actually DO something about what size clothes I wore. Genetics, schedule, budget- these were all things that factored in, but they didn't have to dictate who I was anymore. This was the real beginning in what is, as of this moment, a 15-month journey. So this blog is going to be the place I keep track of what has happened, my change in thoughts and lifestyle, and just generally a place for me to keep myself accountable. To remind myself what I've been through and how far I've come.